Topper and Dig give a damn if you live or die. We want you to make it."
"We're supposed to make it, right? I mean, it's not a suicide mission you're sending us on..."
"I've seen the mission plan. It's not a suicide mission, but your survival is not required for victory."
The bottom fell out of Jordo's stomach. "Say that again?"
"Your survival is not required for victory. But you can survive," Shafter said.
"How? You and Burn and Topper and Dig. You had thousands of hours of flight time before you got in a Bitzer. We can't do what you do."
"C-Block didn't lose every OPFOR skirmish against superior planes because they can't fly. They lost because of who they are. They lost because of what's most important to them."
"Are you saying we can't be pilots?"
"No. I'm saying that fighter pilots have to react fast...faster than you can consciously think. They work on instinct and instinct comes from inside . It's part of who you are – what you want – what you fear – what's most important to you. Your pilots' instincts are telling them to watch out for their own asses first because that's who they are. They'll never survive like that."
"I'm helping out the weaker links where I can."
"You don't get it," Shafter said. "This isn't about helping them fly better. They fly just fine with the AIs handling the complicated stuff for them." He held his breath for a few seconds and then exhaled out his nose. "I put you in charge because they're already following your lead. But do you even know why they follow you? Do you? It isn't because they crave being under someone's authority. They hate authority. They don't follow you because you can fly or because you chose to be a leader. They follow you because you showed them they were better than they thought they were. "
"What are y-"
"During the physical exam back at Bailey Prison... When the guards cranked up the gees on that pinch and tried to turn you all to spam? Remember? You helped those convicts save each others' lives."
He was stunned. "You knew about that? And you didn't stop it?"
"We saw the recordings after it happened. It wasn't supposed to be like that."
Jordo felt his nostrils flare. "Some of us died in there."
"It wasn't supposed to be like that," Shafter repeated.
"But it was." The anger was like a fire under his skin.
"And when it was like that, you could have walked out and saved yourself. When Snooze got your ass off the floor, you could have just walked out on the rest of C-block, but you didn't. You made a choice to be something better than what you were the day before. And you helped Holdout up and Dirty and Gusher. The rest of C-block make that choice, too. You helped them be something better than they thought they were. That's why they follow you. They don't follow you because you can fly, they follow you because you showed them they could be something better. And they want that. Think about it. Think about it hard when you think about how to lead them." Shafter reached in his breast pocket, pulled out a small box, and gave it to him. "Don't look at me like that, nugget. I'm not proposing to your sorry ass. Open it." Inside the box were silver bars, 7cm long, meant to be worn on his exosuit collar. "You're an officer now. You're Lieutenant Junior Grade J. 'Jordo' Colt of the Staas Company Privateers' 133rd Fighter Test Squadron. Congratulations. Don't screw up."
*****
While the rest of them slept, he told Snooze what Shafter had said to him and how he was afraid they were all being sent to die. It was highly likely, he said, they'd all bought into a steaming load of bull dunk of record-setting stink.
"Yeah," Snooze said. "That's kinda the way I saw it going down. I think we're getting served up. Maybe a decoy squadron or something. They've been feeding us bunk from day one, but..."
"But what?"
Snooze half-laughed. "It's not like they ever fooled me, boyo. I mean, I knew it was bullshit... I still took the deal." Jordo nodded
"We're supposed to make it, right? I mean, it's not a suicide mission you're sending us on..."
"I've seen the mission plan. It's not a suicide mission, but your survival is not required for victory."
The bottom fell out of Jordo's stomach. "Say that again?"
"Your survival is not required for victory. But you can survive," Shafter said.
"How? You and Burn and Topper and Dig. You had thousands of hours of flight time before you got in a Bitzer. We can't do what you do."
"C-Block didn't lose every OPFOR skirmish against superior planes because they can't fly. They lost because of who they are. They lost because of what's most important to them."
"Are you saying we can't be pilots?"
"No. I'm saying that fighter pilots have to react fast...faster than you can consciously think. They work on instinct and instinct comes from inside . It's part of who you are – what you want – what you fear – what's most important to you. Your pilots' instincts are telling them to watch out for their own asses first because that's who they are. They'll never survive like that."
"I'm helping out the weaker links where I can."
"You don't get it," Shafter said. "This isn't about helping them fly better. They fly just fine with the AIs handling the complicated stuff for them." He held his breath for a few seconds and then exhaled out his nose. "I put you in charge because they're already following your lead. But do you even know why they follow you? Do you? It isn't because they crave being under someone's authority. They hate authority. They don't follow you because you can fly or because you chose to be a leader. They follow you because you showed them they were better than they thought they were. "
"What are y-"
"During the physical exam back at Bailey Prison... When the guards cranked up the gees on that pinch and tried to turn you all to spam? Remember? You helped those convicts save each others' lives."
He was stunned. "You knew about that? And you didn't stop it?"
"We saw the recordings after it happened. It wasn't supposed to be like that."
Jordo felt his nostrils flare. "Some of us died in there."
"It wasn't supposed to be like that," Shafter repeated.
"But it was." The anger was like a fire under his skin.
"And when it was like that, you could have walked out and saved yourself. When Snooze got your ass off the floor, you could have just walked out on the rest of C-block, but you didn't. You made a choice to be something better than what you were the day before. And you helped Holdout up and Dirty and Gusher. The rest of C-block make that choice, too. You helped them be something better than they thought they were. That's why they follow you. They don't follow you because you can fly, they follow you because you showed them they could be something better. And they want that. Think about it. Think about it hard when you think about how to lead them." Shafter reached in his breast pocket, pulled out a small box, and gave it to him. "Don't look at me like that, nugget. I'm not proposing to your sorry ass. Open it." Inside the box were silver bars, 7cm long, meant to be worn on his exosuit collar. "You're an officer now. You're Lieutenant Junior Grade J. 'Jordo' Colt of the Staas Company Privateers' 133rd Fighter Test Squadron. Congratulations. Don't screw up."
*****
While the rest of them slept, he told Snooze what Shafter had said to him and how he was afraid they were all being sent to die. It was highly likely, he said, they'd all bought into a steaming load of bull dunk of record-setting stink.
"Yeah," Snooze said. "That's kinda the way I saw it going down. I think we're getting served up. Maybe a decoy squadron or something. They've been feeding us bunk from day one, but..."
"But what?"
Snooze half-laughed. "It's not like they ever fooled me, boyo. I mean, I knew it was bullshit... I still took the deal." Jordo nodded
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