yer protestations about how you would never marry for less than love. I can hardly wait to hear what yer idea of a worst day could possibly be.”
“You want the truth? Then you’ll have it.” She clenched her fists in her lap and took a deep breath. “It’s holding the tiny lifeless body of yer son in yer arms and then watching as the midwife takes him away, leaving you alone with nothing but yer shattered dreams. That’s my worst day, Eric MacNicol. A day such as I would not wish on my worst enemy.”
Eric’s stomach lurched as tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He reached out for her as her body shook with silent sobs, pulling her into his embrace to comfort her.
What a beast he was to push her like that. Only a selfish, heartless fool would treat the woman he loved in such a thoughtless manner.
And love her he must, because only a fool in love would have such a driving need to know what he had done to lose her.
He held her tightly, stroking a hand through her hair and down her back, wishing he could take away the pain by the strength of his embrace.
It was as if, once her reserve had broken down, she’d lost all control. He had done that to her. He had pierced the armor of her strength and all he felt for having done so was an overwhelming sense of shame.
“Shhh,” he consoled as he continued to stroke her hair. “I had no idea you’d been through such heartbreak, Sweet Jeanne. It’s my own selfish pride what lies behind my pushing you for an answer. Just as it was selfish pride that kept me from coming to you after Eymer’s death.”
“I am all too familiar with the burdens of pride,” she managed between hiccupping sobs.
“But mine was beyond the pale. Selfish and foolish. I loved you, and when you chose another over me, I couldna make my peace with what you did. Not until yesterday, when I saw you topple from the mountain crest and I thought I’d lost you all over again. In that moment I realized, pride be damned.”
She tipped her head back to look up at him, her breath still catching with her emotion.
“I dinna choose another over you, Eric. You rejected me, leaving me no choice at all.”
“How can you say you had no choice?” He kissed her forehead and her eyes fluttered shut. “I loved you then, Jeanne, and I love you still. There’s nothing I can do to change the heartbreak you’ve suffered—the loss of Eymer and his son before him.”
“But—”
He silenced her with a kiss, taking her soft lips with his own, turning her words into a quiet moan. Her head dropped back as he inched the kiss from her mouth to her neck, stopping to nibble on her shoulder before he continued to bare his soul.
“I was the one left with no choice. I refused to marry you to save you from this exact sorrow. With war on the horizon, I’d no way to know what would happen. I loved you too much to leave you a grieving widow.”
She gasped as he pushed the shift from her shoulders to trail his tongue over her heated skin. The old, familiar need washed over him, hardening his body and driving his actions.
He wanted her. As if the past year and half had never happened, his need for her was as all-consuming as it had ever been.
He kissed her again, lowering her to her back and taking his place on top of her.
She made no effort to refuse him, but he felt reluctance in her response.
“Did you no understand that I would have grieved yer loss whether we were married or no? Though yer intentions were honorable, by yer refusal to take me to wife, you left me in a far worse position than if I had been widowed.”
“I canna see how that’s possible,” he murmured, his mind too occupied with the woman in his arms to concentrate on her words.
“Since you want my honesty, I’ll tell you how.” Her fingers tightened on his arms, gripping him as a drowning woman might. “It was no Eymer’s son who died in my arms, Eric. It was yers.”
• • •
Eric’s muscles stiffened under
“You want the truth? Then you’ll have it.” She clenched her fists in her lap and took a deep breath. “It’s holding the tiny lifeless body of yer son in yer arms and then watching as the midwife takes him away, leaving you alone with nothing but yer shattered dreams. That’s my worst day, Eric MacNicol. A day such as I would not wish on my worst enemy.”
Eric’s stomach lurched as tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He reached out for her as her body shook with silent sobs, pulling her into his embrace to comfort her.
What a beast he was to push her like that. Only a selfish, heartless fool would treat the woman he loved in such a thoughtless manner.
And love her he must, because only a fool in love would have such a driving need to know what he had done to lose her.
He held her tightly, stroking a hand through her hair and down her back, wishing he could take away the pain by the strength of his embrace.
It was as if, once her reserve had broken down, she’d lost all control. He had done that to her. He had pierced the armor of her strength and all he felt for having done so was an overwhelming sense of shame.
“Shhh,” he consoled as he continued to stroke her hair. “I had no idea you’d been through such heartbreak, Sweet Jeanne. It’s my own selfish pride what lies behind my pushing you for an answer. Just as it was selfish pride that kept me from coming to you after Eymer’s death.”
“I am all too familiar with the burdens of pride,” she managed between hiccupping sobs.
“But mine was beyond the pale. Selfish and foolish. I loved you, and when you chose another over me, I couldna make my peace with what you did. Not until yesterday, when I saw you topple from the mountain crest and I thought I’d lost you all over again. In that moment I realized, pride be damned.”
She tipped her head back to look up at him, her breath still catching with her emotion.
“I dinna choose another over you, Eric. You rejected me, leaving me no choice at all.”
“How can you say you had no choice?” He kissed her forehead and her eyes fluttered shut. “I loved you then, Jeanne, and I love you still. There’s nothing I can do to change the heartbreak you’ve suffered—the loss of Eymer and his son before him.”
“But—”
He silenced her with a kiss, taking her soft lips with his own, turning her words into a quiet moan. Her head dropped back as he inched the kiss from her mouth to her neck, stopping to nibble on her shoulder before he continued to bare his soul.
“I was the one left with no choice. I refused to marry you to save you from this exact sorrow. With war on the horizon, I’d no way to know what would happen. I loved you too much to leave you a grieving widow.”
She gasped as he pushed the shift from her shoulders to trail his tongue over her heated skin. The old, familiar need washed over him, hardening his body and driving his actions.
He wanted her. As if the past year and half had never happened, his need for her was as all-consuming as it had ever been.
He kissed her again, lowering her to her back and taking his place on top of her.
She made no effort to refuse him, but he felt reluctance in her response.
“Did you no understand that I would have grieved yer loss whether we were married or no? Though yer intentions were honorable, by yer refusal to take me to wife, you left me in a far worse position than if I had been widowed.”
“I canna see how that’s possible,” he murmured, his mind too occupied with the woman in his arms to concentrate on her words.
“Since you want my honesty, I’ll tell you how.” Her fingers tightened on his arms, gripping him as a drowning woman might. “It was no Eymer’s son who died in my arms, Eric. It was yers.”
• • •
Eric’s muscles stiffened under
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