with a deep guttural laugh that brought goose flesh to his entire body, “I have a little something here that we both can munch on before dinner.”
At that moment he felt an icy cold object being pressed against one of his feet. He looked down and saw that his wife was holding the same frozen slab of flesh that the navigator held! A scream leapt from his throat and he suddenly found himself back inside the Albatross.
“My G…G…God!” he said to himself; his breath exhausting in ghost-like vapors. “Mustn’t fall asleep ag…again.”
“No, you should definitely try to stay awake, Colonel Sutcliff,” came a whispering voice from the tail section of the plane.
The Skipper felt his bladder release its entire contents and cover the inside of his thighs in warm liquid. At the same time, it felt like a jolt of electricity was shooting through his body as he fumbled for the flashlight that was in one of his pockets. He directed a weak beam of light on the face of the young navigator but his frozen countenance had remained unchanged. “G…get a grip, old man,” he said to himself, “You’re only hallucinating b…b…because of the cold.” A second later he began to hear whistling. He lifted the flashlight once again but the light faded to black almost immediately. He smacked it against the palm of his hand.
“You know Colonel, it was most unpleasant how you and your men have disturbed my solitude.”
The voice shook the Skipper to his very core but he kept reminding himself that it was all just the effect of hypothermia. Only, the hallucination continued.
“Young Williams here broke one of the most cardinal of rules. Partaking of human flesh is one of the most egregious sins there is, Colonel. It ranks right up there with shooting the Pope; a sin that will certainly get a person an expedited, first class trip straight to hell. Yes siree… no waiting in line, no long drawn out evaluations, and certainly no comical pleading of one’s case, thank you very much. Just a one way ticket straight to Hades on the red-eye…pardon the pun. This, of course, is where I come in Colonel. Someone audacious enough to commit such an abomination will always receive a personal escort to the nether regions by yours truly, so they won’t…shall we say…get lost along the way. To be honest, Colonel, I felt rather bad for the chap. Such a nice young man, just a victim of circumstance after all, wouldn’t you agree? Of course you would, Colonel. I know you’d answer in the affirmative if only your frozen lips could form the words. It might have also crossed your mind as to why I’m still hanging around in this young man’s frozen corpse. Well, the truth of the matter is, I’m taking a much deserved holiday. You see, Colonel, hell can be a very loud and annoying place, with the never ending screams and the gnashing of teeth and all the rest. As you can probably imagine, after tens of thousands of years, that kind of thing can really get on ones nerves. When I came for young Williams here, I was taken with the place. The exquisite darkness, the deafening silence…yes, the whole ambience very much appealed to me. So, I decided to return for a little vacation. That is, until the master calls me back. Can you really blame me? Once again, don’t bother trying to speak, your chattering teeth alone speak volumes. By the way, I must admit that your pathetic display amuses me. You humans certainly have no conception of what cold truly is. I’m speaking of a cold so penetrating that it scars the very soul. Hell, after all, my dear Colonel, isn’t a fiery pit of searing heat and caustic smoke, like so colorfully portrayed by your ignorant clergy. On the contrary, it’s actually a dark and frigid wasteland void of any heat what-so-ever. Come to think of it--this place is quite balmy by comparison. Now let us, for amusement sake, consider the terrain found there… it is mainly composed of razor sharp rock that…”
At that
At that moment he felt an icy cold object being pressed against one of his feet. He looked down and saw that his wife was holding the same frozen slab of flesh that the navigator held! A scream leapt from his throat and he suddenly found himself back inside the Albatross.
“My G…G…God!” he said to himself; his breath exhausting in ghost-like vapors. “Mustn’t fall asleep ag…again.”
“No, you should definitely try to stay awake, Colonel Sutcliff,” came a whispering voice from the tail section of the plane.
The Skipper felt his bladder release its entire contents and cover the inside of his thighs in warm liquid. At the same time, it felt like a jolt of electricity was shooting through his body as he fumbled for the flashlight that was in one of his pockets. He directed a weak beam of light on the face of the young navigator but his frozen countenance had remained unchanged. “G…get a grip, old man,” he said to himself, “You’re only hallucinating b…b…because of the cold.” A second later he began to hear whistling. He lifted the flashlight once again but the light faded to black almost immediately. He smacked it against the palm of his hand.
“You know Colonel, it was most unpleasant how you and your men have disturbed my solitude.”
The voice shook the Skipper to his very core but he kept reminding himself that it was all just the effect of hypothermia. Only, the hallucination continued.
“Young Williams here broke one of the most cardinal of rules. Partaking of human flesh is one of the most egregious sins there is, Colonel. It ranks right up there with shooting the Pope; a sin that will certainly get a person an expedited, first class trip straight to hell. Yes siree… no waiting in line, no long drawn out evaluations, and certainly no comical pleading of one’s case, thank you very much. Just a one way ticket straight to Hades on the red-eye…pardon the pun. This, of course, is where I come in Colonel. Someone audacious enough to commit such an abomination will always receive a personal escort to the nether regions by yours truly, so they won’t…shall we say…get lost along the way. To be honest, Colonel, I felt rather bad for the chap. Such a nice young man, just a victim of circumstance after all, wouldn’t you agree? Of course you would, Colonel. I know you’d answer in the affirmative if only your frozen lips could form the words. It might have also crossed your mind as to why I’m still hanging around in this young man’s frozen corpse. Well, the truth of the matter is, I’m taking a much deserved holiday. You see, Colonel, hell can be a very loud and annoying place, with the never ending screams and the gnashing of teeth and all the rest. As you can probably imagine, after tens of thousands of years, that kind of thing can really get on ones nerves. When I came for young Williams here, I was taken with the place. The exquisite darkness, the deafening silence…yes, the whole ambience very much appealed to me. So, I decided to return for a little vacation. That is, until the master calls me back. Can you really blame me? Once again, don’t bother trying to speak, your chattering teeth alone speak volumes. By the way, I must admit that your pathetic display amuses me. You humans certainly have no conception of what cold truly is. I’m speaking of a cold so penetrating that it scars the very soul. Hell, after all, my dear Colonel, isn’t a fiery pit of searing heat and caustic smoke, like so colorfully portrayed by your ignorant clergy. On the contrary, it’s actually a dark and frigid wasteland void of any heat what-so-ever. Come to think of it--this place is quite balmy by comparison. Now let us, for amusement sake, consider the terrain found there… it is mainly composed of razor sharp rock that…”
At that
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