What You Wish For by Kerry Reichs Page A

tried to explain. “Kids change you. I was raised by a single mom and I had a wonderful childhood. She was dazzling and creative and vivid. Having kids ruined that.”
    “You were her kid,” Bryan pointed out.
    Recalling Cyn Lytton, she tried to explain. “My mother was flamboyant and crazy, like Auntie Mame. Her nickname was ‘the Original Cyn,’ and she named me Eva because I came from playing with the snake in the garden while naked. She didn’t change for me, she popped me in her purse and took me along like a toy poodle. I don’t think you could get away with her style of guardianship today.”
    “It must’ve agreed with her. She went back for another bite at that apple.”
    It hadn’t agreed with her. “When she married, her husband talked her into more kids. He wasn’t a bad guy, and didn’t want to make her a different person, but it changed her.” She didn’t mention the smothering depression. “I don’t want that. I like the way I am now. I love my job. I love being able to travel and eat out without permission. I like owning nice things.”
    “You don’t decide not to have kids because you don’t want to break a vase,” Brian voiced disbelief.
    “Being a mother means giving up some of yourself because you want something else more. If you don’t, the sacrifices would be misery. I don’t have an urge for children strong enough to justify the sacrifices. I’d resent it.”
    “That’ll change when you get married,” Bryan persisted.
    Eva opened her mouth, but he held up a finger in an annoying way. “ All women want kids eventually, even if they say they don’t. They only pretend they don’t want them in case it doesn’t happen.” His smile was infuriating.
    Eva realized her fingers were clenching the edge of the table. She forced her grip to relax. “Bryan, I told you when we met that I didn’t want kids.”
    “I didn’t think you meant it.”
    Eva’s blood pressure thrummed. “Why would I say something I didn’t mean?”
    “So you wouldn’t scare me off? I thought you were waiting until the right time.”
    “There will be no right time.”
    Bryan considered her. He reached across the table to take her hand. “I could be happy with one.” He smiled. “If she looked like you.”
    For a moment, Eva was uncertain. Then she thought of her mother.
    “It’s not a negotiation.” She wondered what exactly she was turning down.
    Bryan’s face hardened. “I want kids and you want none and so it’s none? That doesn’t sound like much of a negotiation to me.”
    “You can’t bargain the kid thing. It’s not a summer vacation.”
    “All I see is someone too selfish to think of anything but herself. Travel? Nice things? Instead of having children?”
    “Maybe I’m selfish, but I like myself just as I am. I have a successful career. I stay in shape. I don’t want to lose that.”
    “You’re not a natural woman.”
    His words shocked the breath out of her.
    The waiter approached. “Are you ready to order some dinner?”
    “No.” Bryan stood abruptly. “I think we’re done here.” He looked at Eva as if he wanted to say something. Then he shook his head and walked away, leaving her gaping in her chair.
    The waiter looked uncomfortable. “I’ll bring the check,” he finally said as Bryan disappeared.
    “Wait.” Eva was stunned. She had to get control of this situation. “I’ll have the Lomo steak. Medium.” The waiter looked surprised but nodded.
    She would eat. There was nothing in her pantry and she was starving. There was nothing she could do about Bryan. What would be the point? It would only postpone the inevitable.
    The waiter delivered her steak.
    “Thanks,” Eva said. “You know, when Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.”
    “What happens when gorgeous blondes get mad?” he asked.
    “Steak for one,” she answered, digging in.
    Eva drove home with the top down to enjoy the warm air. It