When To Let Go by J.M. Sevilla

so many drugs I don't feel a thing.”
    Parker's chest felt like someone had dumped a pile of bricks on it. He could hardly mange to keep the conversation going, but he wasn't about to waste the time Violet had given him, “You sleeping at night?”
    “They give me something. Knocks me out. I don't even dream,” Ryder informed Parker with as much life to him as a corpse.
    Seeing his brother, who used to always have this intense sadness behind his eyes that now reflected nothing back, gutted him worse than a horror film.
    “They got you on a lot of meds, huh?” Parker asked, swallowing down the bile.
    “Only way to keep me calm.”
    Parker believed it, but that still didn't make it right. There had to be better ways to help a kid than drugging him. Ryder also had nobody to care. Nobody but he and Ava, and what could they do to help? They were only kids.
    “You’re out of here at eighteen, right?”
    Ryder agreed.
    “Find us in Arizona. We can be a family again.” Parker recited his address for Ryder to memorize, forcing him to repeat it back to him ten times, hoping it might stick despite the drugs.
    Parker got up, not even sure Ryder would be able to remember he had come to visit. It was still worth it, just in case.
    Now all Parker could do was pray his brother came back to him.

Chapter 8
Anger Management
    Over the next year Parker became more of a menace, getting in fights almost every week, not knowing how to deal with his frustration over Ryder, feeling like he had failed him.
    Near the end of the school year Parker learned that they were going to hold Ava back a year, wanting her to repeat the fourth grade. Ava was ashamed and embarrassed. It was hard watching the way Naomi and Stevie could comfort her better than him, and in no time Maggie and Wes had her laughing and playing again. He was selfishly jealous Ava didn't seem to need him anymore, because Parker still needed her. Instead of telling her, he picked more fights and found more women.
    What finally broke him was when months after Ryder should have been let out of Juvie he never came.
    One day, when Parker was dropped off at school, some jerk-off came to him at lunch asking who the hottie in the backseat was and how he wouldn't mind taking a dip.
    Parker lost it.
    The jerk-off was talking about Violet. Beautiful, amazing, twelve-year-old Violet.
    “If you ever touch her, I'll kill you.” Parker meant it too.
    The jerk-off grabbed his crotch. “She'll be begging for it,” he taunted. “Bet with those lips she'd give good head.”
    Parker punched him square in the jaw. His friends then attacked Parker and he took on all three. A large crowd gathered around them and were chanting Parker's name, who was doing the most damage. It took five teachers to break it up.
    He had to wait outside the principal’s office until Naomi or Stevie arrived and they could inform them of having yet another suspension, or at least he hoped it was that and not expulsion.
    Parker was slumped down low in his chair staring down at his hands. A dark shadow loomed over him. Looking up, he found Noah Baxter glaring down at him with an expression that told Parker that this could be his last day on earth.
    “Get up,” Noah demanded.
    Parker didn't. He wanted to live.
    “You're coming with me, you little shit,” Noah sneered under his breath. “We need to have ourselves a chat.”
    “Got to wait for a parent,” he explained, looking around the office to see if an adult was around to witness if Noah tried murdering him. Noah Baxter had always scared the crap out of him.
    Naomi walked through the door with red, puffy eyes and Parker was hit with guilt. He knew they didn't deserve the shit he put them through.
    “Go with Noah,” Naomi said with a sadness that had Parker feeling guiltier. “He'll bring you home. I want to talk privately to the principal.”
    This was it. They’d finally had enough of him and were having him offed. Too bad he'd never get to see Violet's car