Whipped Wedding Woes: A Cozy Mystery (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book 8) by Constance Barker

Luella down the long hallway to her room. Stormi and I talked loudly in an effort to warn Paige that we were coming. Not that it would do much good. What would she do? Hide in the tiny closet or under the bed? Those dorm rooms were small and what if Luella decided to look in the closet while we were there. We were caught and there was nothing we could do to stop it. When we stopped outside of Luella’s room, she performed a weird knock on the door.
     
    “This is a code knock for my roommate,” she said. “In case she has a guy up here and I don’t want to find them in a compromising position.”
     
    Stormi and I looked at one another. Didn’t she just come from her room? Does her roommate work that fast? I wasn’t sure what we would find when Luella opened her dorm room door, but it sure wasn’t what met my stunned eyes.
     
    We looked down and there was Paige. She was on the floor sitting on the back of a very alive Howie. She brandished a metal nail file to keep him in line.
     
    “It’s about time!” She yelled. “I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this buffoon down.”
     
    I grabbed Paige’s free hand and pulled her off Howie who remained on the floor with his hands over the back of his head. Despite his prone position, Paige kept the nail file at the ready. I doubt it could have done much damage, but she wasn’t about to holster her weapon. Paige had her nail file and Stormi had her ice scream scoop. I was still searching for my weapon of choice.
     
    “What the frickety frack Howie!” Stormi screamed. Paige and I winced as her ear-splitting howl hit our ears. “Don’t just lie there like the coward you are! Get up and explain before I kick you in the family jewels!”
     
    I noticed Luella was sliding closer to the dorm door. “No way sister,” I said. “You’re staying put until we find out what’s going on.”
     
    We finally pulled Howie from the floor where he had been putting together one of his crazy puzzles. As soon as Paige opened the door, she spotted him. Luckily, she got over her shock within seconds and pounced on him. She grabbed the metal nail file from her purse and held him at bay until we got there. While Howie may be smart, he’s also a wuss. It didn’t take much for Paige to turn him into a whimpering mess with her cutting words of ‘your days are numbered’ and wielding the nail file like a sword. We sat them down on Luella’s bed to explain what was behind the entire dead, then missing body fiasco.
     
    Seems that Howie came up with the bright idea of staging his death. He wanted to steal the millions Jeb claimed he’d hidden away on his property, but since he pestered him so much about the money, Howie was afraid he’d be the first suspect. He’d be right. So he concocted his fake death with Luella and decided it would occur after Stormi’s wedding. Howie would slip out of the reception and make sure several people noticed, so that later people would deduce he’d been missing for a while. Which is exactly true. I had noticed him leave and then wondered why he was gone for so long.
     
    Howie waited until the workers had taken down the decorations on the gazebo and in the courtyard. After they left, he called Luella to let her know so they could start their hoax.
     
    So Howie wasn’t hurt when we found him lying in the courtyard. He was fully aware of what we were doing and saying, only acting as if he was unconscious. Once he and Luella were well away from the reception area, she pulled over and called Brandon, telling him that Howie woke up and she was taking him to the hospital where she worked. Instead, they headed to Luella’s dorm room. From there she made all the calls to Doreen and Brandon about Howie’s condition, while he was sitting right next to her listening in. He knew his mother Doreen wouldn’t make the trek from California, and would accept his wishes of being cremated. Luella was to get some kind of ashes that would appear like