Will & Patrick Fight Their Feelings (#4) by Leta Blake, Alice Griffiths

Patrick’s hands.
    “Fine and dandy.”
    “You washed yet?”
    “No.”
    “Let me do it.” Will kisses Patrick’s knuckles again before pushing him under the shower stream. Then it’s all elbows and wet skin sliding together as they soap up and trade positions beneath the showerhead. His panic calms as Will rubs soap over his shoulders and scratches lightly at his back.
    Will says, “So today was weird. I saw Ryan and Hartley’s truck loaded up to leave town.”
    “Second verse same as the first.”
    “Not this time.”
    Irritation pokes painfully under Patrick’s skin, making him snarl. “Did you talk to them?”
    “No. I didn’t even see them. Just the truck. But they’ve left town by now, I’m sure. I’m surprised it wasn’t on your Hurting Times app.”
    “ Adios , assholes.” Patrick snorts, leaning his head back to thoroughly wet his hair.
    Will’s eyes are dark and thoughtful. “I spent so much time trying to make that relationship work and now I wish I could set it on fire and ride into the sunset while it burns.”
    Patrick touches his temple. The bruise is mostly gone now, and Will leans forward to kiss the light yellow that lingers.
    Will says, “I’m glad what we have doesn’t involve the big emotions.” He smiles warmly, excitement lighting his features. “You’ve helped me see that I’m allowed to have friendship, affection, and great sex without a lifetime commitment.”
    The strings around Patrick’s heart tighten. “Mind-blowing concept, huh?”
    “It really is. I admit I was uncomfortable buying into the whole ‘sex without love’ thing at first. But I was desperately in love with Ryan—well, in the beginning—and we never felt as good or right as you and I do together.” He frowns. “What I mean is I don’t feel heavy anymore. I feel free. I don’t want anything more than what we already have.” He trails his fingers down the side of Patrick’s face and cups his cheek. “So don’t freak out. You’re safe with me. And I know I’m safe with you.”
    Patrick croaks out, “Good. Like I said, I don’t do love.”
    “Then this is perfect. We’re perfect. And, once we get divorced, we’ll move on with our lives. You can stay or go, whatever you want.” Will frowns but then brightens again. “I can date around. I don’t have to be tied down. Or I can start looking for someone I can love. But no matter what, we’ll stay friends. Right?”
    Throat tight, Patrick nods again. “We’ll always have Paris.”
    “Huh?”
    “Bogart, Bergman? Means nothing to you?”
    “Nope.”
    “ Casablanca .”
    “Oh. Never seen it. I’ve heard it’s good, though.” Will motions for Patrick to soap his back. “Ah, that’s nice.”
    Patrick grunts and suds him up. He doesn’t trust his voice to speak. Will rinses off, then starts massaging shampoo into Patrick’s hair.
    “It’s weird after all these years having a totally open future.”
    Patrick closes his eyes and tries to enjoy Will’s fingers in his hair.
    “Oh, and speaking of the future, I have some good news. It’s still a few months out, so don’t get too excited.”
    “The divorce?” Patrick’s knees go weak and he has to put his hand against the tiles.
    Will’s fingers hesitate before he continues massaging Patrick’s head, sliding his hands down to work the knots in his neck and shoulders too. “No, Nonna’s still working on that. I have no idea when we’ll have a breakthrough there. But you’re happy enough for now, aren’t you?”
    Relief surges like a cool wave. It shouldn’t. He shouldn’t want this so much but, as he’s discovering, life with Will is what it is. And it’s never what it should be.
    Patrick faces Will and rinses. “Tell me. You’re killing me here.”
    Will flashes his prettiest grin. “I won an award.”
    “Let me guess. The Do-Gooder of the Year award?”
    Will laughs. “Yeah. Kinda.”
    Patrick pulls Will closer. “Congratulations.” He kisses Will’s shy