I can’t introduce him properly. All I know about him is that he’s been where no white man ever set foot before and he’s
had all his teeth taken out without gas – but perhaps you know him?’
‘I didn’t know either of those facts about him,’ admitted Mr Brown drily, ‘but,’ his sardonic eye forced his son’s to meet it, ‘I have met him
before.’
CHAPTER 3
WILLIAM AND THE CHINESE GOD
M r Markson, the headmaster of William’s school, was very large and very red-faced and very loud-voiced and very irascible. Behind this mask
of terror Mr Markson was in reality a rather shy and very well-meaning man. He liked big boys and got on well with them. He disliked small boys and glared at them and roared at them on
principle.
William and his friends came in contact with this ogre seldom, and on occasions of decided unpleasantness.
In their eyes he was all the fabulous masters of antiquity and all the ogres of fairyland rolled into one. They trembled beneath his rolling eye and booming voice. Which was just as well,
because these were about the only things beneath which they did tremble.
They were discussing this grim potentate on their way home from school.
‘He’s the nasty temperedest man in the world,’ said Ginger solemnly. ‘I know he is. I know there’s not another man as nasty tempered as what he is in all the
world.’
‘He swished Rawlings for jus’ walkin’ through the stream in the playground,’ contributed Henry, ‘an’ Rawlings is short-sighted, you know. An’ he said he
din’t see the stream till he’d got right over it, but ole Markie swished him jus’ the same.’
‘When he jus’ looks at me,’ admitted Ginger, ‘it makes me feel kinder queer.’
‘Yes, an’ when he yells like what he does,’ said Douglas, ‘it makes me jump like – like—’
‘Like a frog,’ suggested Ginger helpfully.
‘Frog yourself!’
‘I din’ mean you was a frog,’ explained Ginger. ‘I only meant you jumped like a frog.’
‘Well, I don’t jump like a frog more’n other people do,’ said Douglas pugnaciously.
‘Oh, shut up arguing,’ said Henry, who had been enjoying the collective indictment of ‘Old Markie’, and did not wish it to tail off into a combat between Douglas and
Ginger. ‘I guess,’ he went on darkly, ‘that if some people knew what he was like really an’ – an’ the way he shouts an’ swishes people an’ –
an’ carries on, I guess he’d be put in prison or hung or something. There’s laws,’ he added vaguely, ‘to stop people goin’ on at other people the way he
does.’
William had listened to this conversation in silence. William disliked belonging to the majority of the terrorised. He preferred always to belong to the minority of the terror-inspiring, or at
least of the intrepid. He gave a short, scornful laugh.
‘I’m not frightened of him,’ he said with a swagger.
They gazed at him, aghast at this patent untruth.
‘Oh, aren’t you?’ said Ginger meaningly.
‘No, an ’ I’m not,’ retorted William. ‘I wun’t mind sayin’ anythin’ to him, I wun’t. I wun’t mind – I wun’t mind
jus’ tellin’ him what I thought of him any time, I wun’t.’
‘Oh, wun’t you?’ said Ginger disagreeably, piqued by this unexpected attitude of William’s. ‘Oh, no,’ sarcastically, ‘you’re not frightened
of him, you aren’t. You wasn’t frightened of him las’ Tuesday, was you?’
William was momentarily disconcerted by this reference to an occasion when he had incurred the public wrath of the monster for scuffling in prayers, and had been summoned to his study
afterwards. But only momentarily.
‘P’raps you thought I was,’ he conceded in a tone of kindly indulgence. ‘I daresay you thought I was. I daresay you judge eve’body by yourself
an’ thought I was.’
‘Well, you looked frightened,’ said Henry.
‘An’ you sounded frightened,’ said Ginger, and mimicked ‘“Yes, sir . . . No,
had all his teeth taken out without gas – but perhaps you know him?’
‘I didn’t know either of those facts about him,’ admitted Mr Brown drily, ‘but,’ his sardonic eye forced his son’s to meet it, ‘I have met him
before.’
CHAPTER 3
WILLIAM AND THE CHINESE GOD
M r Markson, the headmaster of William’s school, was very large and very red-faced and very loud-voiced and very irascible. Behind this mask
of terror Mr Markson was in reality a rather shy and very well-meaning man. He liked big boys and got on well with them. He disliked small boys and glared at them and roared at them on
principle.
William and his friends came in contact with this ogre seldom, and on occasions of decided unpleasantness.
In their eyes he was all the fabulous masters of antiquity and all the ogres of fairyland rolled into one. They trembled beneath his rolling eye and booming voice. Which was just as well,
because these were about the only things beneath which they did tremble.
They were discussing this grim potentate on their way home from school.
‘He’s the nasty temperedest man in the world,’ said Ginger solemnly. ‘I know he is. I know there’s not another man as nasty tempered as what he is in all the
world.’
‘He swished Rawlings for jus’ walkin’ through the stream in the playground,’ contributed Henry, ‘an’ Rawlings is short-sighted, you know. An’ he said he
din’t see the stream till he’d got right over it, but ole Markie swished him jus’ the same.’
‘When he jus’ looks at me,’ admitted Ginger, ‘it makes me feel kinder queer.’
‘Yes, an’ when he yells like what he does,’ said Douglas, ‘it makes me jump like – like—’
‘Like a frog,’ suggested Ginger helpfully.
‘Frog yourself!’
‘I din’ mean you was a frog,’ explained Ginger. ‘I only meant you jumped like a frog.’
‘Well, I don’t jump like a frog more’n other people do,’ said Douglas pugnaciously.
‘Oh, shut up arguing,’ said Henry, who had been enjoying the collective indictment of ‘Old Markie’, and did not wish it to tail off into a combat between Douglas and
Ginger. ‘I guess,’ he went on darkly, ‘that if some people knew what he was like really an’ – an’ the way he shouts an’ swishes people an’ –
an’ carries on, I guess he’d be put in prison or hung or something. There’s laws,’ he added vaguely, ‘to stop people goin’ on at other people the way he
does.’
William had listened to this conversation in silence. William disliked belonging to the majority of the terrorised. He preferred always to belong to the minority of the terror-inspiring, or at
least of the intrepid. He gave a short, scornful laugh.
‘I’m not frightened of him,’ he said with a swagger.
They gazed at him, aghast at this patent untruth.
‘Oh, aren’t you?’ said Ginger meaningly.
‘No, an ’ I’m not,’ retorted William. ‘I wun’t mind sayin’ anythin’ to him, I wun’t. I wun’t mind – I wun’t mind
jus’ tellin’ him what I thought of him any time, I wun’t.’
‘Oh, wun’t you?’ said Ginger disagreeably, piqued by this unexpected attitude of William’s. ‘Oh, no,’ sarcastically, ‘you’re not frightened
of him, you aren’t. You wasn’t frightened of him las’ Tuesday, was you?’
William was momentarily disconcerted by this reference to an occasion when he had incurred the public wrath of the monster for scuffling in prayers, and had been summoned to his study
afterwards. But only momentarily.
‘P’raps you thought I was,’ he conceded in a tone of kindly indulgence. ‘I daresay you thought I was. I daresay you judge eve’body by yourself
an’ thought I was.’
‘Well, you looked frightened,’ said Henry.
‘An’ you sounded frightened,’ said Ginger, and mimicked ‘“Yes, sir . . . No,
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