Wilt

Wilt by Tom Sharpe Page B

Book: Wilt by Tom Sharpe Read Free Book Online
Authors: Tom Sharpe
Tags: Fiction:Humour
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    despairing scream. There was a pop reminiscent of champagne corks and Judy, finally

    responding to the pressure of Wilt’s eleven stone dropping from several feet into the

    bath, ejected him. But Wilt no longer cared. He had in every sense passed out. He was only

    dimly aware of shouts in the corridor, of someone breaking the door down, of faces

    peering at him and of hysterical laughter. When he came to be was lying on the bed in the

    toy room. He got up and put on his clothes and crept downstairs and out of the front door. It

    was 3 AM.

Chapter 5
    Eva sat on the edge of the bed crying.
    ‘How could he? How could he do a thing like that? she said, ‘in front of all these

    people.’
    ‘Eva baby, men are like that. Believe me,’ said Sally.
    ‘But with a doll…’
    ‘That’s symbolic of the male chauvinist pig attitude to women. We’re just fuck

    artefacts to them. Objectification. So now you know how Henry feels about you.’
    ‘It’s horrible,’ said Eva.
    ‘Sure it’s horrible. Male domination debases us to the level of objects.’
    ‘But Henry’s never done anything like that before,’ Eva wailed.
    ‘Well, he’s done it now.’
    ‘I’m not going back to him. I couldn’t face it. I feel so ashamed.’
    ‘Honey, you just forget about it. You don’t have to go anywhere. Sally will look after

    you. You just lie down and get some sleep.’
    Eva lay back, but sleep was impossible. The image of Henry lying naked in the bath on

    top of that horrible doll was faced in her mind. They had to break the door down and Dr

    Scheimacher find cut his hand on a broken bottle trying to get Henry out of the bath…Oh,

    it was all too awful. She would never be able to look people in the face again. The story

    was bound to get about and she would be known as the woman whose husband went around…With a

    fresh paroxysm of embarrassment Eva buried her head in the pillow and wept.
    ‘Well that sure made the party go with a bang,’ said Gaskell. ‘Guy screws a doll in the

    bathroom and everyone goes berserk.’ He looked round the living-room at the mess. ‘If

    anyone thinks I’m going to start clearing this lot up now they’d better think again. I’m

    going to bed.’
    ‘Just don’t wake Eva up. She’s hysterical,’ said Sally.
    ‘Oh great. Now we’ve got a manic obsessive compulsive woman with hysteria in the

    house.’
    ‘And tomorrow she’s coming with us on the boat.’
    ‘She’s what?’
    ‘You heard me. She’s coming with us on the boat.’
    ‘Now wait a bit…’
    ‘I’m not arguing with you, G. I’m telling you. She’s coming with us.’
    ‘Why, for Chrissake?’
    ‘Because I’m not having her go back to that creep of a husband of hers. Because you

    won’t get me a cleaning-woman and because I like her.’
    ‘Because I won’t get you a cleaning-woman. Now I’ve heard it all.’
    ‘Oh no you haven’t,’ said Sally, ‘you haven’t heard the half of it. You may not know it but

    you married a liberated woman. No male pig is going to put one over on me…’
    ‘I’m not trying to put one over on you,’ said Gaskell. ‘All I’m saying is that I don’t

    want to have to…’
    ‘I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about that creep Wilt. You think he got into that

    doll by himself? Think again, G baby, think again.’
    Gaskell sat down on the sofa and stared at her.
    ‘You must be out of your mind. What the hell did you want to do a thing like that for?’
    ‘Because when I liberate someone I liberate them. No mistake.’
    ‘Liberate someone by…’ he shook his head. ‘It doesn’t make sense.’
    Sally poured herself a drink. ‘The trouble with you, G, is that you talk big but you

    don’t do. It’s yakkity yak with you. “My wife is a liberated woman. My wife’s free.”

    Nice-sounding talk but come the time your liberated wife takes it into her head to do

    something, you don’t want to know.’
    ‘Yeah, and when you take it into

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