Without a Front by Fletcher DeLancey

them.”
    â€œI’ve never heard you blaspheme the warrior’s code before.”
    â€œIt’s not blasphemy to think. Blind belief is a poor servant to Alsea, and I never taught you that bit of idiocy. Don’t tell me you’ve never questioned your instructors, because I know better.”
    Tal smiled at the reference; certainly she had challenged Micah more than once. “Of course I’ve questioned my instructors. They’re Alseans, not Fahla herself. But that’s not the same thing as questioning the Truth and the Path.”
    â€œIsn’t it?” He nodded when she remained silent. “You’re a faithful servant of Fahla and Alsea. You’re also a discerning and extremely gifted individual. Don’t confuse service to our Goddess and the warrior’s code with service to interpretation of their lessons and intent. A true warrior knows more than just love of Alsea. Feeling love from and for another makes one’s heart more whole, and a warrior with a whole heart is a better servant to Alsea than a warrior with only half a heart.”
    Her first thought was that he was contradicting his own teachings, but when she paused to consider it, she could not remember Micah ever telling her to love Alsea first. By the time she had come into his unit, that part of the code had already been instilled in her.
    â€œThen you’ve given your heart?” she asked.
    â€œWe’re not speaking of me; we’re speaking of you. And you just answered my question.”
    â€œHas anyone ever told you that you’re annoying?”
    He ignored her. “I cannot imagine you bestowing your heart where it was not deserved. It must have been Captain Serrado.”
    â€œThere were others on the Caphenon equally deserving,” she said, knowing full well she had just confirmed his suspicions.
    â€œFor you? Only one that I can think of, and she wasn’t the captain. You would not choose one who did not understand power and responsibility.”
    She gave up. “Lhyn is a treasure and a good friend. But you’re right, she’s not the one. Saying good-bye to Ekatya was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
    â€œBut you’re still in contact, yes?”
    â€œYes, but it’s not the same. In some ways it was actually easier when she wasn’t able to call. They were in transit for half a moon and spent another half in debriefings and meetings, and I could almost convince myself it hadn’t been real. Then she called on the quantum com and—” She couldn’t finish, unwilling to describe what seeing Ekatya had done to her.
    â€œSo she called for the first time two moons ago. And that was when it all fell apart for you.”
    Fahla, it was. She hadn’t even realized.
    â€œNo wonder you miss that time,” he said. “Not only did you have clarity of purpose, but you had a partner in accomplishing it. Captain Serrado was your equal. And she saved us twice.”
    She put her face in her hands. “I didn’t have a partner,” she whispered. “I never did. That’s the problem.”
    He rested his hand on her bent back, and for a moment she thought she might cry.
    After a long silence, he said, “The greatest thing I could wish for you is that you might find someone worthy of your heart. I’m deeply sorry that when you did, she was not for you. There is no love more futile than the love for another’s tyree. This is a heavy burden you have borne.”
    His sympathy made the lump in her throat harder to swallow.
    â€œAnd you need a vacation,” he added.
    She lifted her head. “That’s your solution to my problem?”
    â€œNo, that’s my solution to my problem.”
    â€œYour concern is truly touching. I can’t imagine why I didn’t come to you earlier.”
    â€œI’m serious, Tal. You do need a vacation. If the only time you feel right is when you