about anything but the pickup pointed toward San Antonio. Put your bags in the back and get in.
But when they drove across the
arroyo
, the driver opened her mouth and let out a yell as loud as any mariachi. Which startled not only Cleófilas, but Juan Pedrito as well.
Pues
, look how cute. I scared you two, right? Sorry. Should’ve warned you. Every time I cross that bridge I do that. Because of the name, you know. Woman Hollering.
Pues
, I holler. She said this in a Spanish pocked with English and laughed. Did you ever notice, Felice continued, how nothing around here is named after a woman? Really. Unless she’s the Virgin. I guess you’re only famous if you’re a virgin. She was laughing again.
That’s why I like the name of that
arroyo
. Makes you want to holler like Tarzan, right?
Everything about this woman, this Felice, amazed Cleófilas. The fact that she drove a pickup. A pickup, mind you, but when Cleófilas asked if it was her husband’s, she said she didn’t have a husband. The pickup was hers. She herself had chosen it. She herself was paying for it.
I used to have a Pontiac Sunbird. But those cars are for
viejas
. Pussy cars. Now this here is a
real
car.
What kind of talk was that coming from a woman? Cleófilasthought. But then again, Felice was like no woman she’d ever met. Can you imagine, when we crossed the
arroyo
she just started yelling like a crazy, she would say later to her father and brothers. Just like that. Who would’ve thought?
Who would’ve? Pain or rage, perhaps, but not a hoot like the one Felice had just let go. Makes you want to holler like Tarzan, Felice had said.
Then Felice began laughing again, but it wasn’t Felice laughing. It was gurgling out of her own throat, a long ribbon of laughter, like water.
The Marlboro Man
Durango was his name. Not his
real
name. I don’t remember his real name, but it’ll come to me. I’ve got it in my phone book at home. My girlfriend Romelia used to live with him. You
know
her, in fact. The real pretty one with big lips who came over to our table at the Beauregards’ once when the Number Two Dinners were playing .
The one with the ponytail?
No. Her friend. Anyway, she lived with him for a year even though he was
way
too old for her .
For real? But I thought the Marlboro Man was gay.
He
was?
Romelia never told me
that .
Yeah. In fact, I’m positive. I remember because I had a bad-ass crush on him, and one day I see a commercial for
60 Minutes
, right?SPECIAL. TONIGHT! THE MARLBORO MAN. I remember saying to myself, Hot damn, I can’t miss that.
Maybe Romelia
did
insinuate, but I didn’t pick up on it .
What’s his name? That guy from
60 Minutes
.
Andy Rooney?
Not
Andy Rooney,
girl
friend! The other guy. The one that looks sad all the time.
Dan Rather .
Yeah, him. Dan Rather interviewed him on
60 Minutes
. You know, “Whatever happened to the Marlboro Man” and all that shit. Dan Rather interviewed him. The Marlboro Man was working as an AIDS clinic volunteer and he died from it even.
No, he didn’t. He died from cancer. Too many cigarettes, I guess .
Are we talking about the same Marlboro Man?
He and Romelia lived on this fabulous piece of real estate in the hill country, outside Fredericksburg. Beautiful house on a bluff, next to some cattle ranches. You’d think you were miles from civilization, deer and wild turkey and roadrunners and hawks and all that, but it was only a ten-minute drive to town. They had a big Fourth of July party there once and invited everybody who was anybody. Willie Nelson, Esteban Jordán, Augie Meyers, all that crowd .
Well, all I know is he was called Durango. And he owned a ranch out in the hill country that once belonged to Lady Bird Johnson. And he and some friends of the Texas Tornadoes lost a lot of money investing in some recording studio that was supposed to have thirty-six tracks instead of the usual sixteen, or whatever. And he gave Romelia hell, always chasing any
But when they drove across the
arroyo
, the driver opened her mouth and let out a yell as loud as any mariachi. Which startled not only Cleófilas, but Juan Pedrito as well.
Pues
, look how cute. I scared you two, right? Sorry. Should’ve warned you. Every time I cross that bridge I do that. Because of the name, you know. Woman Hollering.
Pues
, I holler. She said this in a Spanish pocked with English and laughed. Did you ever notice, Felice continued, how nothing around here is named after a woman? Really. Unless she’s the Virgin. I guess you’re only famous if you’re a virgin. She was laughing again.
That’s why I like the name of that
arroyo
. Makes you want to holler like Tarzan, right?
Everything about this woman, this Felice, amazed Cleófilas. The fact that she drove a pickup. A pickup, mind you, but when Cleófilas asked if it was her husband’s, she said she didn’t have a husband. The pickup was hers. She herself had chosen it. She herself was paying for it.
I used to have a Pontiac Sunbird. But those cars are for
viejas
. Pussy cars. Now this here is a
real
car.
What kind of talk was that coming from a woman? Cleófilasthought. But then again, Felice was like no woman she’d ever met. Can you imagine, when we crossed the
arroyo
she just started yelling like a crazy, she would say later to her father and brothers. Just like that. Who would’ve thought?
Who would’ve? Pain or rage, perhaps, but not a hoot like the one Felice had just let go. Makes you want to holler like Tarzan, Felice had said.
Then Felice began laughing again, but it wasn’t Felice laughing. It was gurgling out of her own throat, a long ribbon of laughter, like water.
The Marlboro Man
Durango was his name. Not his
real
name. I don’t remember his real name, but it’ll come to me. I’ve got it in my phone book at home. My girlfriend Romelia used to live with him. You
know
her, in fact. The real pretty one with big lips who came over to our table at the Beauregards’ once when the Number Two Dinners were playing .
The one with the ponytail?
No. Her friend. Anyway, she lived with him for a year even though he was
way
too old for her .
For real? But I thought the Marlboro Man was gay.
He
was?
Romelia never told me
that .
Yeah. In fact, I’m positive. I remember because I had a bad-ass crush on him, and one day I see a commercial for
60 Minutes
, right?SPECIAL. TONIGHT! THE MARLBORO MAN. I remember saying to myself, Hot damn, I can’t miss that.
Maybe Romelia
did
insinuate, but I didn’t pick up on it .
What’s his name? That guy from
60 Minutes
.
Andy Rooney?
Not
Andy Rooney,
girl
friend! The other guy. The one that looks sad all the time.
Dan Rather .
Yeah, him. Dan Rather interviewed him on
60 Minutes
. You know, “Whatever happened to the Marlboro Man” and all that shit. Dan Rather interviewed him. The Marlboro Man was working as an AIDS clinic volunteer and he died from it even.
No, he didn’t. He died from cancer. Too many cigarettes, I guess .
Are we talking about the same Marlboro Man?
He and Romelia lived on this fabulous piece of real estate in the hill country, outside Fredericksburg. Beautiful house on a bluff, next to some cattle ranches. You’d think you were miles from civilization, deer and wild turkey and roadrunners and hawks and all that, but it was only a ten-minute drive to town. They had a big Fourth of July party there once and invited everybody who was anybody. Willie Nelson, Esteban Jordán, Augie Meyers, all that crowd .
Well, all I know is he was called Durango. And he owned a ranch out in the hill country that once belonged to Lady Bird Johnson. And he and some friends of the Texas Tornadoes lost a lot of money investing in some recording studio that was supposed to have thirty-six tracks instead of the usual sixteen, or whatever. And he gave Romelia hell, always chasing any
Similar Books
