at ease.
“—that's why we're going to go out there and get them to take notice of us, one way or another,” Jenny finished, and Patty's head came up.
“Outside?” she said, proud enough that it didn't come out a squeak that she almost forgot she was talking. “EVA?”
“Yes,” the captain said, stepping forward, trim in her navy uniform. “And before you ask, Cadet, the answer is no.”
“Ma'am—”
“No. I have two pilots. I can't risk both of you at once.”
“Ma'am.” Jenny's voice, and Patty looked up, startled. “I'll stand aside for Patty.”
“Casey.”
“But that brings me to another point I wanted to discuss with you.”
“Yes?”
“We have a resource we're wasting, ma'am. Shamefully.”
Patty looked up, startled, and got a good look at the glance the captain shot Jenny, the one that glittered with not-in-front-of-the-kids.
Not in front of me, she means
.
“An excellent point, Master Warrant,” the captain said. “We'll discuss it later. When we go over the duty roster.”
“Thank you—”
But the captain's impatient wave cut Casey into silence. “Is there any other business on the table? No?” The captain smiled, making a point of catching Patty's eyes especially. “In that case,” Wainwright said, “I commend you to the canapés.”
Patty had never understood the big deal about canapés. Especially the
Montreal
's, which were made with soy cheese. In any case, she would have been unlikely to eat them even if her stomach hadn't been knotted with anticipation. Instead, she leaned against the wall, her shoulders pressed against it, twisting glossy dark strands of hair around her fingers and nibbling at the back of her thumb. She had a wallflower's knack for vanishing into the shadows, even in a well-lit briefing room. And as the grown-ups moved around, none of them approached her.
She tugged the clip off her braid and ducked her head, letting her hair fall across her face. Leah wouldn't be hiding in the corner, even in a room full of people three times her age with enough titles to deck a Christmas tree. Leah would be standing at her dad's elbow, laughing, charming doctors and starship captains alike.
It was wrong that Patty had lived and Leah had died, the luck of the draw and the sheer chance of which of them had been on the
Calgary
when she went down. It should have been Patty. Leah had family and friends. She had Jenny and Mr. Castaign and Dr. Dunsany and Genie.
All Patty had was the miserable realization that she was bitterly grateful Leah had died and she had lived. Leah, and Carver, and Bryan, and all the rest of the kids in the pilot program. She was glad she had been lucky, though it tore her throat with pettiness to admit it. Glad, glad, glad. And never mind the guilt that went with it.
“I beg your pardon, miss—” A scratchy, accented voice. Patty pushed her hair aside and found herself looking into the faded blue eyes of the British scientist. “Is this the castaways' corner?”
“Excuse me?” She straightened up, tucking her tangled hair primly behind her ears, and looked him in the eyes. “Dr.—”
“Kirkpatrick.”
“Of course. You're Irish.”
“English,” he answered, turning to put his back against the bulkhead beside hers. “Don't let the name and the red hair fool you. Although I don't suppose I'm particularly English anymore.”
Patty blinked. “How can you stop being English?”
“When there stopped being an England,” he answered, with a clipped-off sigh. “I'm a citizen of the commonwealth now. A man without a country.” And then he tilted his head and lifted one shoulder like a bird fluffing a wing, and he grinned. And Patty grinned back at him, before she even knew she was going to do it.
1330 hours
Friday September 28, 2063
HMCSS Montreal
Earth orbit
Gabe's always been stronger than anybody had any right to be, and I can't stand to see him like this. Locked up inside, tight as a drum, an emptiness
“—that's why we're going to go out there and get them to take notice of us, one way or another,” Jenny finished, and Patty's head came up.
“Outside?” she said, proud enough that it didn't come out a squeak that she almost forgot she was talking. “EVA?”
“Yes,” the captain said, stepping forward, trim in her navy uniform. “And before you ask, Cadet, the answer is no.”
“Ma'am—”
“No. I have two pilots. I can't risk both of you at once.”
“Ma'am.” Jenny's voice, and Patty looked up, startled. “I'll stand aside for Patty.”
“Casey.”
“But that brings me to another point I wanted to discuss with you.”
“Yes?”
“We have a resource we're wasting, ma'am. Shamefully.”
Patty looked up, startled, and got a good look at the glance the captain shot Jenny, the one that glittered with not-in-front-of-the-kids.
Not in front of me, she means
.
“An excellent point, Master Warrant,” the captain said. “We'll discuss it later. When we go over the duty roster.”
“Thank you—”
But the captain's impatient wave cut Casey into silence. “Is there any other business on the table? No?” The captain smiled, making a point of catching Patty's eyes especially. “In that case,” Wainwright said, “I commend you to the canapés.”
Patty had never understood the big deal about canapés. Especially the
Montreal
's, which were made with soy cheese. In any case, she would have been unlikely to eat them even if her stomach hadn't been knotted with anticipation. Instead, she leaned against the wall, her shoulders pressed against it, twisting glossy dark strands of hair around her fingers and nibbling at the back of her thumb. She had a wallflower's knack for vanishing into the shadows, even in a well-lit briefing room. And as the grown-ups moved around, none of them approached her.
She tugged the clip off her braid and ducked her head, letting her hair fall across her face. Leah wouldn't be hiding in the corner, even in a room full of people three times her age with enough titles to deck a Christmas tree. Leah would be standing at her dad's elbow, laughing, charming doctors and starship captains alike.
It was wrong that Patty had lived and Leah had died, the luck of the draw and the sheer chance of which of them had been on the
Calgary
when she went down. It should have been Patty. Leah had family and friends. She had Jenny and Mr. Castaign and Dr. Dunsany and Genie.
All Patty had was the miserable realization that she was bitterly grateful Leah had died and she had lived. Leah, and Carver, and Bryan, and all the rest of the kids in the pilot program. She was glad she had been lucky, though it tore her throat with pettiness to admit it. Glad, glad, glad. And never mind the guilt that went with it.
“I beg your pardon, miss—” A scratchy, accented voice. Patty pushed her hair aside and found herself looking into the faded blue eyes of the British scientist. “Is this the castaways' corner?”
“Excuse me?” She straightened up, tucking her tangled hair primly behind her ears, and looked him in the eyes. “Dr.—”
“Kirkpatrick.”
“Of course. You're Irish.”
“English,” he answered, turning to put his back against the bulkhead beside hers. “Don't let the name and the red hair fool you. Although I don't suppose I'm particularly English anymore.”
Patty blinked. “How can you stop being English?”
“When there stopped being an England,” he answered, with a clipped-off sigh. “I'm a citizen of the commonwealth now. A man without a country.” And then he tilted his head and lifted one shoulder like a bird fluffing a wing, and he grinned. And Patty grinned back at him, before she even knew she was going to do it.
1330 hours
Friday September 28, 2063
HMCSS Montreal
Earth orbit
Gabe's always been stronger than anybody had any right to be, and I can't stand to see him like this. Locked up inside, tight as a drum, an emptiness
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