coming.”
“So they think they found someone. Okay. But why are you telling me all this? How is this related to me?”
“Because I have to ask you a very important question, Elizabeth. And I need for you to answer me honestly, truthfully.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Saad,” she lied. “What do you want to ask me?”
“When Mara found you, you said you’d come here with friends, on a hike.”
“Yes.”
“And that you got separated.”
“Yes.”
“And you had no equipment.”
“What is this, Saad?”
“Funny,” he said. He pushed up, walked to that lumpy, wrapped bundle she’d noticed earlier, and twitched the cloth free.
Lense went absolutely, perfectly still.
“Because you know?” Saad picked up her helmet and turned it this way and that. “I was just about to ask you the same question.”
Bashir’s chest was tight. He couldn’t breathe. He was burning up, and then freezing cold and the hackles on the back of his neck stood on end, and then he started to shake, uncontrollably. He couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop it. The beat of blood in his brain was so remorseless he thought his skull would explode. His thoughts raced like rats on a wheel spinning to nowhere: about cogs in a machine and implants and those primates and the air above his head filled with their silent words and images…Ah, God, if he could just stop his brain from thinking, just for an instant! Just shut his brain off, just shut down!
“Julian.”
Got to get out of here. He squeezed his eyes tight, but he was still thinking, thinking, thinking, and he wanted to run to a dark closet and hide and draw his knees up, the way he had when he was small and stupid and couldn’t say his name properly; and still he’d laughed with all the other children because he was so lonely and too dull…
“Julian.”
…too simple to understand that they were laughing at him…
“Julian.”
…at poor, simple, dim little Jules, the ninny, the nit no one liked and his parents despised.
“Julian, look at me.”
His eyes snapped open. “Why did you show me this?” His voice cut his raw throat like a knife. “Why?”
“Because you needed the facts.” That wash of yellow fluorescent glare turned her skin the color of bile and made his look dead. “Truth for truth.”
“But why?” Hot fury flooded his veins and then before he knew what he was doing—or maybe he just didn’t care—he had her by both arms, the way he might with someone he loved and hated in equal measure. She tried to twist away, but now he had her and he hung on tight. “Why have you done this, why? To torture me? What do you want? For the love of God, what do you expect of me?”
“The truth.” Her eyes ticked back and forth, the left lagging a bit; and she’d gone so pale he saw the solitary salt track of her tears dried onto her right cheek. “Where do you come from, Julian? Who are you? What are you? If you don’t tell me the truth or give me something tangible, I can’t help you. Look at it from my perspective. If you have nothing to hide, then why should I interfere? Why show you anything? You would take the fMRI and pass.”
“But Blate wouldn’t let me go. You know that. Even if I passed, would that really stop him? Or you?” He gave her a rough shake. “Really? Look at all you’ve done already! Wouldn’t this man Blate simply decide that I’d fooled you in some way? Because, remember, there’s the suit, Doctor, there’s the suit. So would he order you to do this anyway?”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s the point?”
“Because I need to know! I need something that tells me this far and no further because there’s more at stake here than you can possibly know or understand. So I need to know the truth. Before I risk everything, I need to know and I need to know right now, Julian, right now— before it’s too late.”
“Too late?” Now he gripped her very hard, harder than he’d ever held Ezri even when she was killing his
“So they think they found someone. Okay. But why are you telling me all this? How is this related to me?”
“Because I have to ask you a very important question, Elizabeth. And I need for you to answer me honestly, truthfully.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Saad,” she lied. “What do you want to ask me?”
“When Mara found you, you said you’d come here with friends, on a hike.”
“Yes.”
“And that you got separated.”
“Yes.”
“And you had no equipment.”
“What is this, Saad?”
“Funny,” he said. He pushed up, walked to that lumpy, wrapped bundle she’d noticed earlier, and twitched the cloth free.
Lense went absolutely, perfectly still.
“Because you know?” Saad picked up her helmet and turned it this way and that. “I was just about to ask you the same question.”
Bashir’s chest was tight. He couldn’t breathe. He was burning up, and then freezing cold and the hackles on the back of his neck stood on end, and then he started to shake, uncontrollably. He couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop it. The beat of blood in his brain was so remorseless he thought his skull would explode. His thoughts raced like rats on a wheel spinning to nowhere: about cogs in a machine and implants and those primates and the air above his head filled with their silent words and images…Ah, God, if he could just stop his brain from thinking, just for an instant! Just shut his brain off, just shut down!
“Julian.”
Got to get out of here. He squeezed his eyes tight, but he was still thinking, thinking, thinking, and he wanted to run to a dark closet and hide and draw his knees up, the way he had when he was small and stupid and couldn’t say his name properly; and still he’d laughed with all the other children because he was so lonely and too dull…
“Julian.”
…too simple to understand that they were laughing at him…
“Julian.”
…at poor, simple, dim little Jules, the ninny, the nit no one liked and his parents despised.
“Julian, look at me.”
His eyes snapped open. “Why did you show me this?” His voice cut his raw throat like a knife. “Why?”
“Because you needed the facts.” That wash of yellow fluorescent glare turned her skin the color of bile and made his look dead. “Truth for truth.”
“But why?” Hot fury flooded his veins and then before he knew what he was doing—or maybe he just didn’t care—he had her by both arms, the way he might with someone he loved and hated in equal measure. She tried to twist away, but now he had her and he hung on tight. “Why have you done this, why? To torture me? What do you want? For the love of God, what do you expect of me?”
“The truth.” Her eyes ticked back and forth, the left lagging a bit; and she’d gone so pale he saw the solitary salt track of her tears dried onto her right cheek. “Where do you come from, Julian? Who are you? What are you? If you don’t tell me the truth or give me something tangible, I can’t help you. Look at it from my perspective. If you have nothing to hide, then why should I interfere? Why show you anything? You would take the fMRI and pass.”
“But Blate wouldn’t let me go. You know that. Even if I passed, would that really stop him? Or you?” He gave her a rough shake. “Really? Look at all you’ve done already! Wouldn’t this man Blate simply decide that I’d fooled you in some way? Because, remember, there’s the suit, Doctor, there’s the suit. So would he order you to do this anyway?”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s the point?”
“Because I need to know! I need something that tells me this far and no further because there’s more at stake here than you can possibly know or understand. So I need to know the truth. Before I risk everything, I need to know and I need to know right now, Julian, right now— before it’s too late.”
“Too late?” Now he gripped her very hard, harder than he’d ever held Ezri even when she was killing his
Similar Books
