We’re both soaked by the time we reach the safety of his vehicle,
laughing and combing our finger through our damp strands of hair. Rachel gets
in the front and I sit in the back. I’d normally complain because I get really
bad car sickness when I’m not in the front. However, I decide against it just
this once, I need to put as much distance as I can between me and Zack.
“Did
you two have a good time?” He asks, pulling out into the road.
“We
really did, I had so much fun. Thanks for coming with me today, Sam.” Rachel
turns around in her seat and grinning at me.
“It
was my pleasure, I had a great time.” I say sincerely.
“Find
anything you like?” Zack asks Rachel, interlacing his fingers with hers when
she reaches for his hand.
I
have to look away. I know how preposterous that sounds but I just can’t watch.
It hurts me to see them being so intimate with one another. Not because I’m
envious of their relationship and not because I want one for myself. It’s
purely because I’m envious of her. I want him and I don’t have the faintest
idea what I’m supposed to do about it. There’s nothing I can do. They’re
together and in love, I’m irrelevant and that’s how it should be. I should play
no part in their relationship and that’s exactly how it’s going to stay. I know
I’m going to be Rachel’s Maid of honour and I’ll help her out as much as I can
when it comes to the wedding but as far as he’s concerned… I can’t get too close.
I need to keep my distance.
“Not
really, I tried on a couple of dresses but today was mainly about getting some
ideas and doing plenty of research.”
“Research?
You need to research wedding dresses?” Zack chuckles softly, glancing in the
rear-view mirror, our eyes connect with one another and we hold our gaze for
several seconds, neither one of us willing to look away first.
“Of
course! We only have four months until the wedding and I want everything to be
perfect, especially the dress. It’s the most important part.” Rachel talks
excitedly, reapplying her lipstick in the flip down mirror in front of her.
“I
see.” Zack pauses, hesitating before asking his next question. “What about
you?” His eyes fixate upon mine and I can feel his penetrating stare upon me,
causing me to squirm uncomfortably in my seat.
“What
about me?” I respond timidly.
“Did
you find anything you liked?” His interest in our shopping trip can’t be
genuine, so why does he continue to pierce my soul with those eyes?
“We
weren’t really looking for my dress today.” I murmur quietly, averting my gaze.
“We’ll
start looking for you soon, Sam. I want you in something different to the other
bridesmaids. You’re going to look beautiful.” Rachel assures me, tugging a hair
brush through her sleek hair. It’s the colour of dark chocolate and it always
looks really healthy and glossy.
“There’ll
only be one beauty on the day and that’s you.” I tell her, hoping that I don’t
sound too jealous. I adore my sister and have always been proud of her
accomplishments and elegance, I genuinely mean it when I say that I want her to
be happy. I’ve never been envious of her before… until now.
“Nonsense!
You’ll look gorgeous. Won’t she, Zack?” Rachel asks expectantly.
“Yes.
She will.” His irresistible, coffee-coloured eyes seek out mine, lingering just
a moment too long for it to be innocent.
I
wring my hands together, struggling with his direct observation of me. His
insightful and discerning glare cuts right through me. I have no idea why he
would be angry with me but that’s exactly what he appears to be. I’m no longer
able to pretend that I’m oblivious, his perusal is intense and I reach for my
phone in my handbag, deciding to send Jason a quick text about ordering a take
away later. It’s our Saturday night ritual and I don’t want to disappoint him.
“Jason?”
Rachel swivels round in her seat, looking pointedly at my
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