Year of Impossible Goodbyes

Year of Impossible Goodbyes by Sook Nyul Choi Page A

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Authors: Sook Nyul Choi
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poor girls!" Aunt Tiger was raving like a mad woman.
    Mother suddenly seemed to have realized what Aunt Tiger was saying and whispered harshly, "Please, please stop! The children!" With her fists still clenched, she continued pacing up and down the length of the yard, staring at the sock factory. I wished they would tell me what was happening. What did "spirit girls" mean? Why were they being sent to the front?
    1 was terribly afraid for the sock girls and yet I didn't even know why. But I was somehow relieved to see Mother up and about. I had been so worried that she would die of grief, crying day after day in her dark room. Within an hour of Captain Narita's visit, she had resumed her duties and was rushing about, overseeing production. Fear and helplessness had been transformed into desperate determination.
    The next day Mother got up long before the sun and had Kisa inspect and grease all the machines. The girls came earlier than ever and immediately started working. They had all resolved to do the impossible; they would increase production and make Captain Narita change his mind. For several days, Mother and the girls worked from the crack of dawn until late at night, without even taking a break at mealtimes. Inchun and I busily folded and bundled the socks to keep pace with them.

    Mother looked more and more frail. Her face had become flushed with fever. I noticed Aunt Tiger glancing at her with grave concern. One night, as we were finishing up for the day, I heard Aunt Tiger say to her, "You are working like a crazy person. You're making yourself sick, and it won't do any good. The Japanese have been taking our girls for years. We all knew it was only a matter of time." She tried to convince Mother to get some sleep or at least to eat something. I wished Mother would listen to her, but she said nothing and continued to work. Even Inchun and I kept folding socks and mending stitches, working late into the night by candlelight.
    Each day Mother waited expectantly for Captain Narita. The Japanese merchants and the police came by to collect the socks and seemed very pleased, but we waited anxiously for Captain Narita's decision. We just kept working, but I could sense that with each passing day, Mother and Aunt Tiger were growing more and more apprehensive. One morning as we worked on in the stagnant heat, Mother said, "I never thought I would say this, but I wish Captain Narita would come by. We need to know if there is any hope. They've been working so hard, and we haven't been paid in weeks now. We'll all go hungry soon. If he doesn't come by tomorrow morning, maybe I'll go to bis office and see if those awful guards will let me see him."

    Late that night, I watched the dim lights go off in the factory. I didn't go out to the yard to wave good night to the girls. I wanted to be by myself in Grandfather's room. I was tired of working so hard. How long would we have to live like this? When would Grandfather's merciful Buddha or Mother's Catholic God come to help us? As I sat in Grandfather's room trying to recapture his warmth and calm, I looked out and watched the sock girls talking, shaking the day's dust from their hair and clothes, and stretching their weary arms and legs. Some were busily opening and closing their hands to stretch their stiff fingers. Others rubbed their eyes and wiped their tongues with their handkerchiefs to rid themselves of the dust and lint. They exchanged a few words with each other and with Kisa, and then headed toward the gate "It's starting to rain. Be careful," I heard Mother say. Although exhausted, they all wore a look of liberation as they stared up at the dark rainy sky. They had gotten through another day.
    Suddenly, the gate burst open. Everyone froze in horror. Two soldiers stood behind Captain Narita with their guns slung over their shoulders. One of them held a large black umbrella over Captain Narita to protect him from the rain. Through the open gate, I saw a big truck parked

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