benefit alone, But I promise you he will refuse to marry me .
“Then you’ll make yourself presentable? At least change your clothes.”
“Oh, no. If he wants to marry me, he can see me as I am, not as I rarely am.”
Red-faced, Constantin shouted for her to come back, but she marched out of the room and slammed out of the house. He slumped back in his chair, wondering if he’d won, and worried because she hadn’t argued as much as he’d expected. Alexandra was not to be trusted when she gave in easily.
6
A lexandra rode past the village, past the town, beyond the fields to the grazing meadows, where she finally gave Prince Mischa his lead. One of the Razin boys was behind her as always, but she hadn’t noticed which one had followed her, nor did she look back now.
It was probably Konrad, who at the age of thirty was the oldest and the most responsible of the three brothers. Timofee and Stenka, the twins, only scolded her whenever she went off on her own without telling them, but Konrad would give her hell and make her feel it.
She had grown up with the Razin boys and spent as much time in their home as she did in her own. They were like the brothers she never had, they were her friends, and sometimes they were pains in the neck. Their only sister, Nina, who was supposed to be her maid, was really her dearest friend. She was a year younger than Alexandra, but even she had married, though her husband had died two years ago.
Marriage.
The chill autumn wind had dried Alex’s tears, a foolishness she so rarely gave in to, but her urge now wasn’t to cry any more, but to keep on riding and never return home. Konrad, of course, wouldn’t let her. Even when he found out what her father had done, he wouldn’t let her take the cowardly route. He’d be angry, just as angry as she was, but Cossacks didn’t run from battles, and he’d view this betrothal as a battle. She would, too, once she stopped hurting and feeling so betrayed.
Marriage.
Damn Christopher Leighton, why had he noticed her at her first ball in St. Petersburg? Why had he courted her so diligently and claimed he loved her? He was an assistant to the English ambassador, so worldly, so sophisticated, so handsome. She’d gotten her head turned royally.
She loved him—she must love him to wait seven years, which even she knew was a ridiculous amount of time to remain loyal to a man who had yet to propose marriage to her, and whose image she couldn’t even recall clearly anymore, it had been so long since she’d last seen him. But his letters were always so full of passion and his depth of feeling for her, even the last one, which she had recently received.
Always he wrote of his love and how much he missed her. And since he had returned to England, he had been assuring her that he wastrying to get his diplomatic posting switched back to Russia so he could be near her again. But in all his letters, not once had he ever mentioned marriage. And for all her boldness, she had never been able to write the few words that would have elicited from him a reply that would have either strengthened her hope or ended it. She simply couldn’t bring herself to ask him outright if he intended to marry her.
She should have, she realized now. She also should have followed him to England when she’d wanted to, instead of giving in to her father’s refusal. If she could just see Christopher once more…
Alexandra made up her mind then and there. She would go to England as soon as she got rid of the Cardinian and the matter of honor was satisfied. After all, she had a sizable amount of money saved up from the sale of her horses. All she had to do was figure out a way to leave the country so that her father wouldn’t immediately try to stop her. With so many routes to England, once she was on one of them, he’d have the devil’s own time finding her.
With that decision made, some of the tightness left her chest and she pulled up on the reins, allowing Konrad
“Then you’ll make yourself presentable? At least change your clothes.”
“Oh, no. If he wants to marry me, he can see me as I am, not as I rarely am.”
Red-faced, Constantin shouted for her to come back, but she marched out of the room and slammed out of the house. He slumped back in his chair, wondering if he’d won, and worried because she hadn’t argued as much as he’d expected. Alexandra was not to be trusted when she gave in easily.
6
A lexandra rode past the village, past the town, beyond the fields to the grazing meadows, where she finally gave Prince Mischa his lead. One of the Razin boys was behind her as always, but she hadn’t noticed which one had followed her, nor did she look back now.
It was probably Konrad, who at the age of thirty was the oldest and the most responsible of the three brothers. Timofee and Stenka, the twins, only scolded her whenever she went off on her own without telling them, but Konrad would give her hell and make her feel it.
She had grown up with the Razin boys and spent as much time in their home as she did in her own. They were like the brothers she never had, they were her friends, and sometimes they were pains in the neck. Their only sister, Nina, who was supposed to be her maid, was really her dearest friend. She was a year younger than Alexandra, but even she had married, though her husband had died two years ago.
Marriage.
The chill autumn wind had dried Alex’s tears, a foolishness she so rarely gave in to, but her urge now wasn’t to cry any more, but to keep on riding and never return home. Konrad, of course, wouldn’t let her. Even when he found out what her father had done, he wouldn’t let her take the cowardly route. He’d be angry, just as angry as she was, but Cossacks didn’t run from battles, and he’d view this betrothal as a battle. She would, too, once she stopped hurting and feeling so betrayed.
Marriage.
Damn Christopher Leighton, why had he noticed her at her first ball in St. Petersburg? Why had he courted her so diligently and claimed he loved her? He was an assistant to the English ambassador, so worldly, so sophisticated, so handsome. She’d gotten her head turned royally.
She loved him—she must love him to wait seven years, which even she knew was a ridiculous amount of time to remain loyal to a man who had yet to propose marriage to her, and whose image she couldn’t even recall clearly anymore, it had been so long since she’d last seen him. But his letters were always so full of passion and his depth of feeling for her, even the last one, which she had recently received.
Always he wrote of his love and how much he missed her. And since he had returned to England, he had been assuring her that he wastrying to get his diplomatic posting switched back to Russia so he could be near her again. But in all his letters, not once had he ever mentioned marriage. And for all her boldness, she had never been able to write the few words that would have elicited from him a reply that would have either strengthened her hope or ended it. She simply couldn’t bring herself to ask him outright if he intended to marry her.
She should have, she realized now. She also should have followed him to England when she’d wanted to, instead of giving in to her father’s refusal. If she could just see Christopher once more…
Alexandra made up her mind then and there. She would go to England as soon as she got rid of the Cardinian and the matter of honor was satisfied. After all, she had a sizable amount of money saved up from the sale of her horses. All she had to do was figure out a way to leave the country so that her father wouldn’t immediately try to stop her. With so many routes to England, once she was on one of them, he’d have the devil’s own time finding her.
With that decision made, some of the tightness left her chest and she pulled up on the reins, allowing Konrad
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