You Only Love Twice by Elizabeth Thornton

had passed on to her. All she’d felt was the natural regret and horror she would feel for anyone who’d met a violent end. But now she wondered what was going through her father’s mind at the moment of death. Was he afraid? Had he suffered? Were his last thoughts of her?
    Blinking rapidly, she turned on her heel and struck out toward Chapel Street. It wasn’t the way she wanted to go, but she had no wish to come face-to-face with her landlord. A short detour would take her to the Black Swan. She’d passed it on the way to the attorney’s office when she’d stopped to watch the Morris dancers on the banks of the river Thames. The Black Swan was the tavern Mr. Rempel had mentioned, where Lucas and her father had quarreled.
    It was market day, and in the Black Swan’s inner courtyard, what seemed like a regiment of horses were tethered to hitching posts. Jessica passed the entrance to the courtyard and boldly entered the inn by the front door. Finding no one at the desk in the hall, she followed the sound of voices to a glass door on her left. She took one step intothe room and abruptly halted. Though the place was crowded, there wasn’t a lady in sight except for the young women who were waiting on table.
    Someone at her back exclaimed her name and a sea of faces turned to stare at her. Jessica did not hear. She was intent on visualizing the quarrel that had taken place between Lucas Wilde and her father all those years ago.
    The room couldn’t have been well lit. This was a Tudor building with small windowpanes and dark crossbeams supporting the low ceilings. The bar was at one end with tankards of ale set out for the barmaids to serve. Some gentlemen were drinking at the counter.
    She had the scene well impressed on her mind, but something intruded, something that startled her. She was here, too, not as she was, but as she’d been as a very young girl. She was desperately unhappy about something. Lucas left his friends and came toward her.
    “You shouldn’t be here, Jess.”
    She didn’t know if it was a memory or simply her imagination.
    “You shouldn’t be here, Jess.”
    A hand on her arm turned her around. Lucas Wilde was glowering down at her, not the Lucas of her reverie, but someone infinitely more menacing. It took her a moment to come to herself, to distinguish reality from fantasy. Then she was puzzled. She had left him on Sheep Street. How had he got here?
    “You followed me!” she said furiously.
    He ignored her outburst. “In the name of God, Jess! What the devil do you think you’re doing here?”
    “I have business here,” she said sharply.
    “Believe me the kind of business you’ll find here won’t be to your taste.”
    A movement on the stairs caught his eye and he stepped in front of her, blocking her vision. She circumvented his maneuver by standing on tiptoe to peek over his shoulder. A couple were descending the stairs. Thegirl was adjusting the drawstrings on her bodice. The man’s arm was draped around her shoulders, and he was nuzzling her ear. When they passed into the taproom, Lucas turned on her. “See what I mean?”
    Jessica did, and her face was red, but she held her ground. “I’ve been in worse places than this when I was a nun, looking for parents who had abandoned their children.”
    “I don’t care what you did as a nun. You’re not a nun now, and this is Chalford. Let’s go.”
    She stuck out her chin. “I’m not leaving here till I talk to the landlord.”
    Whatever Lucas was about to say was forestalled when one of the barmaids caught sight of him and hailed him by name. “It’s me,” she said, smiling broadly as she set down the brandy cask she’d obviously just brought up from the cellar. “Millie Jenkins. ’Ave ye time for a quick one, luv? This one’s on me. I owes you, and Millie Jenkins always pays ’er debts.” Her eyes flickered to Jessica. “You must be the new girl. Come to take Flora’s place, ’ave ye?”
    Jessica didn’t know