have pressing business elsewhere "
"I knew there was a catch," Miss Givings said ' There always is "
44 PIERS ANTHONY
"Yes, they are surely a great catch," Miss Interpret agreed.
"But you haven't seen what else," Miss Conception cried. "You can't conceive what—"
"We're looking, we're looking!" several stones said.
Dor bustled Dolph away. "Don't look back," he warned. "You have no business being amazed by anything not offered by your wife."
"Oh, yes," Dolph agreed, remembering.
"Now take us to Castle Zombie."
Dolph changed to roc form, and in a moment they were up, up, and away, winging toward the Zombie Master's edifice.
"Squawk," Dolph remarked sadly, glancing down at the three forlorn figures below.
"Yes, I know," Dor agreed. "But we were really not eligible. I'm sure they will find three other men, in due course, and make them very comfortable, after their glazed eyeballs heal."
"1 wonder if their dialogue is entirely innocent?" Bink asked. "It is almost as if Miss Conception acted only when their words were
not enough."
"She may indeed have had a concept," Dor agreed. "As it was, only an unlikely coincidence enabled us to escape." As he spoke, he realized that it had been exactly the kind of coincidence that happened around his father. Could there be a connection? He wasn't sure. In fact the frustrating thing about his father was that he had never been able to be sure.
Now Castle Zombie hove into view. It was rather battered and worn looking, as if chunks of corroded blocks were falling off. The moat was a puddle of slime. This could not be from inattention, because a zombie gardener was working there. He was carefully raking more dirt into the water, to be sure it was properly foul.
They landed just beyond the decrepit drawbridge. Dor hesitated to cross it, lest the worm-eaten planks give way and dump him into the
muck below.
Bink considered. "I suspect that magic makes this look worse than
it is," he remarked.
"No doubt," Dor agreed. "Maybe some illusion, or some debilitating spells. Either way, I wouldn't care to chance it without testing it."
ZOMBIE LOVER 45
"I'll test it." Bink, with the carelessness of his new youth, went right ahead and crossed without trouble. So Dor and Dolph followed, now assured that the planks would hold. But Dor made a mental note: he would have to watch to make sure his father didn't do something more foolish than risking a mere dunking in slime. Youth had its liabilities.
They came to the inner portcullis, which was badly rusted. A zombie guard challenged them with a corroded spear. "Halsh!"
"Hey, who you talking to. wormface?" a paving stone demanded.
"We three kings have come to speak with the Zombie Master," Dor said.
"Heesh nough inn."
Dor was getting the hang of zombie speech. "He's not in? Then may we talk with Millie the Ghost?" Actually she hadn't been a ghost for fifty five years—the same as Dor's age, coincidentally—but for about 807 years she had been a ghost, so her friends still thought of her that way.
"Ghoo onn inn."
"Thank you." They walked on into the castle proper.
The interior was a good deal nicer than the exterior, because this was Millie's domain, and she was no zombie. The floors were clean, and there were curtains on the portals. Even the air was fresher. Castle Zombie showed the fallacy of judging a thing by its exterior; it was actually a nice residence.
"Get a load of this," a stone lintel remarked appreciatively. A woman was approaching them.
"Oh, hello!" Millie exclaimed. "How nice to see you again. King Dor and Prince Dolph and—" She paused.
"Bink." Bink said.
"Oh, you've been youthened!" she exclaimed, delighted. "Chameleon too?"
"Chameleon too," Bink agreed. "She will be lovely, in about two weeks."
"Come in and have some tee and crumples," Millie said,
"I knew there was a catch," Miss Givings said ' There always is "
44 PIERS ANTHONY
"Yes, they are surely a great catch," Miss Interpret agreed.
"But you haven't seen what else," Miss Conception cried. "You can't conceive what—"
"We're looking, we're looking!" several stones said.
Dor bustled Dolph away. "Don't look back," he warned. "You have no business being amazed by anything not offered by your wife."
"Oh, yes," Dolph agreed, remembering.
"Now take us to Castle Zombie."
Dolph changed to roc form, and in a moment they were up, up, and away, winging toward the Zombie Master's edifice.
"Squawk," Dolph remarked sadly, glancing down at the three forlorn figures below.
"Yes, I know," Dor agreed. "But we were really not eligible. I'm sure they will find three other men, in due course, and make them very comfortable, after their glazed eyeballs heal."
"1 wonder if their dialogue is entirely innocent?" Bink asked. "It is almost as if Miss Conception acted only when their words were
not enough."
"She may indeed have had a concept," Dor agreed. "As it was, only an unlikely coincidence enabled us to escape." As he spoke, he realized that it had been exactly the kind of coincidence that happened around his father. Could there be a connection? He wasn't sure. In fact the frustrating thing about his father was that he had never been able to be sure.
Now Castle Zombie hove into view. It was rather battered and worn looking, as if chunks of corroded blocks were falling off. The moat was a puddle of slime. This could not be from inattention, because a zombie gardener was working there. He was carefully raking more dirt into the water, to be sure it was properly foul.
They landed just beyond the decrepit drawbridge. Dor hesitated to cross it, lest the worm-eaten planks give way and dump him into the
muck below.
Bink considered. "I suspect that magic makes this look worse than
it is," he remarked.
"No doubt," Dor agreed. "Maybe some illusion, or some debilitating spells. Either way, I wouldn't care to chance it without testing it."
ZOMBIE LOVER 45
"I'll test it." Bink, with the carelessness of his new youth, went right ahead and crossed without trouble. So Dor and Dolph followed, now assured that the planks would hold. But Dor made a mental note: he would have to watch to make sure his father didn't do something more foolish than risking a mere dunking in slime. Youth had its liabilities.
They came to the inner portcullis, which was badly rusted. A zombie guard challenged them with a corroded spear. "Halsh!"
"Hey, who you talking to. wormface?" a paving stone demanded.
"We three kings have come to speak with the Zombie Master," Dor said.
"Heesh nough inn."
Dor was getting the hang of zombie speech. "He's not in? Then may we talk with Millie the Ghost?" Actually she hadn't been a ghost for fifty five years—the same as Dor's age, coincidentally—but for about 807 years she had been a ghost, so her friends still thought of her that way.
"Ghoo onn inn."
"Thank you." They walked on into the castle proper.
The interior was a good deal nicer than the exterior, because this was Millie's domain, and she was no zombie. The floors were clean, and there were curtains on the portals. Even the air was fresher. Castle Zombie showed the fallacy of judging a thing by its exterior; it was actually a nice residence.
"Get a load of this," a stone lintel remarked appreciatively. A woman was approaching them.
"Oh, hello!" Millie exclaimed. "How nice to see you again. King Dor and Prince Dolph and—" She paused.
"Bink." Bink said.
"Oh, you've been youthened!" she exclaimed, delighted. "Chameleon too?"
"Chameleon too," Bink agreed. "She will be lovely, in about two weeks."
"Come in and have some tee and crumples," Millie said,
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