A Game of Shadows by Irina Shapiro

and I’m damned if I don’t.  What I wouldn’t give to return to Virginia and be away from all this.”
    “Kit, would he really take his vengeance that far?  I heard he was a reasonable man.”
    “Buckingham is gracious and charming, but he’s like a spoiled child who will throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get his way.  Only his tantrum can result in me losing my head.  He’s implied as much.  One word to James, and I would be hauled off to the Tower to await execution with no hope of a fair trial, or a trial at all, for that matter.  I wouldn’t be the first.” 
    Alec exhaled loudly, his eyes sliding away from Kit’s.  He’d never been confronted by such a dilemma , and he hoped never to be again.  What could he possibly say to Kit?  He was well aware of what it meant to be associated with a traitor.  Louisa and the children would be harassed and ridiculed, all their wealth stripped, Robbie’s title given to someone else.  If it were just Kit, he’d tell him to refuse and take his chances, but he would be risking the entire family.
    “Kit, I’m at a loss for words.  I can’t imagine being in your position.”
    “Neither can I, except I’m in it, and I can’t do anything about it.  I can’t leave Court without the king’s permission, and he will never grant it, not with war coming.  I’m trapped.”  Kit drained the second glass, his shoulders beginning to relax a little as the alcohol entered his bloodstream.  “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and most of all, I can’t look Louisa in the eye.”
    “Kit, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I would take care of your family,” Alec replied, his promise sounding feeble even to himself.  He could feed and clothe them, but he couldn’t protect them from the wrath of the king or the grief of losing a husband and father.
    “Kit, I’m going to ask you an odd question, but bear with me.  Is Buckingham constant, or is he fickle and changes lovers often?” asked Alec carefully.  Kit just shrugged, not following Alec’s train of thought.
    “I suppose he’s fickle, although the rumors about him and James have been swirling for years.  He enjoys the chase and the conquest more than the actual relationship, or so I’ve heard.  His relationship is with his sovereign — the rest is just a game.  What difference does that make?”
    “It makes a difference if you submit to him.  He’ ll eventually tire of you and you will be free.”
    Kit jumped up from his seat, towering over Alec, his eyes b lazing with fury.  “Are you seriously suggesting that I allow that man to bugger me until he grows tired of it?” he spat, his fists clenched at his sides.  Kit immediately backed away, embarrassed by his reaction.  Alec was not the problem.
    “Yes, Kit, I am.  I’d rather see you buggered than dead.  You will recover in time, but make sure Louisa never finds out.  Just tell her that you had a flirtation with some woman to explain away your behavior, but assure her that it’s over and will never happen again.  Don’t destroy your marriage over this.”
    Kit collapsed back into the chair, hands over his face ; his shoulders quaking, and this time Alec knew for sure that he was crying.

Chapter 10
     
    Valerie climbed into bed, the sheets cool and clean against her hot skin.  It was absolute heaven, as was the sight of her husband, pulling his shirt over his head and beginning to unlace his breeches.  They’d barely had any opportunity for intimacy aboard the ship or on the way to Willowbrook, and she was burning with desire for him, which would take more than a week to slake.  Apparently, Alec wasn’t feeling any different because she could see his arousal all the way across the room. 
    Valerie melted into Alec’s arms as he drew her closer , kissing her temple as his hand cupped her breast, caressing her absentmindedly.  “Val, can I ask you something,” he said suddenly, stopping his exploration.  “You