A DEATH TO DIE FOR by Geoffrey Wilding

told me that she had managed to get hold of our other daughter Kate who had emigrated to New Zealand with her husband Gary and our two grandchildren Ruby and Ivy, she said that Kate was extremely upset and was making arrangements to fly over to see me as soon as she could.
     
    Helen asked whether had I managed to get any sleep and I told her how I had sat in the chair with my upper body laid across the bed which had allowed me to get some fitful dozing between the coughing, but that now after nearly five days of not having a drink I felt so very thirsty and was worried that I might lose the ability to swallow altogether so when the tea trolley came she suggested that maybe I should try to have some milky tea to see if I could swallow that, after all I had managed to swallow the jam yesterday.
     
    With a mug of warm tea in hand there followed a period of what can only be described as extreme tea drinking with me attempting all sorts of contortions with the cup even to the extent of trying to drink out of the back of it as you do when you have hiccups, but all to no avail.
     
    Every attempt ended in a coughing fit with tea dripping off my chin and hands and leaving a large stain on my towelling dressing gown and night shirt, Helen caringly wiped the spilt tea from me each time with tissues from the ever present box, I explained that I could not feel where the lukewarm tea was in my mouth and throat so she suggested that I try some cold water which although I could feel where it was proved every bit as impossible to get down my throat as the tea.
     
    After a few disastrous minutes it was decided that tea drinking was not the best of ideas and we gave up, I changed out of the tea stained dressing gown and night shirt and had to put on one I had worn the day before so that Helen could take the dirty ones home for washing.
     
    I got back onto the bed and Helen sat in the chair, there was a knock and the door opened, the consultant came in and said that it was the start of his rounds and that he had called in to let me know he would like to run some more tests to see how things were progressing he also said that he had arranged for me to have a nasogastric tube inserted so that I could be fed using a pump which would give me sufficient nourishment plus all of the fluids I would need.
     
    He then left and we were on our own again and after skirting around each others emotions with small talk it came to the point where the conversation had to deal with the serious matters that lay ahead of us, Helen said that every time she left the hospital her mind was all over the place and so to make sense of things she was going to have to make lists of what needed to be done, with that she reached into her voluminous handbag and pulled out a lined note book and pen.
     
    I first told her that I needed to see Matt my business partner to discuss what was going to happen to the company, I then said that I needed to see my good friend Bill as he had offered me a senior position working together in our Masonic Lodge for the year starting in December which I would not now be able to fulfil.
     
    Helen was leaning over the pad as she wrote and I saw a tear fall from her eye onto the page as she started to consider the awful task of having to talk to the extended family, our friends and the people we were linked with through our work and my masonry, I reached over and took her hand she looked up and her eyes were brim full, she leaned forward in the chair and placed her head on my arm and quietly sobbed, as we carried on producing the list I too started to fully appreciate the way that my life was going to peter out, the plans that would not be fulfilled, the people I might never get to see again, we stopped and sat in reflective silence for a few seconds, but then we realised that we had to continue.
     
    The next two items were the worst of all to list, firstly I asked her to make contact with our solicitor and ask if he would come into hospital