proud he was, showed him everything that piece of paper would allow him to do.
‘Three weeks later, my brother got shot in a drive-by shooting and I decided to join the police. My mum never spoke to me again, because my brother had taught her to blame the cops for everything.’ Craig paused for breath. The memory was still painful. ‘So don’t give me your sob story. I could have followed in my brother’s footsteps. I had every opportunity, I can tell you. But I didn’t.’
Jenna didn’t say anything. She stared at the floor. Eventually she looked up.
‘I’m sorry about your brother,’ she said. ‘But it’s not that easy, you know. Just because you found a way out doesn’t mean that we all can.’
Craig frowned. ‘So that’s it, is it? You feel justified?’
Jenna jumped to her feet. ‘No. I never felt justified. I felt desperate.’ Her amber eyes were flashing as she crossed the room to stand in front of him. ‘How am I supposed to pay my rent? It’s no good telling me to go to the council. He wants cash. Now.’ She was trembling with fury. ‘Of course, there’s one way I could pay him. I know that. But I kind of thought nicking a few quid from people who wouldn’t notice was a better way to go than sleeping with some sleazebag . . .’
‘Hey, hey, hey.’ Alarmed by her reaction, he went to put his arm round her shoulder. She shook it off.
‘Just get off me.’ She pulled away from him and threw her bag across the room so that its contents spilled on the floor. ‘I’ll leave it up to you to do what you think is best with the money.’
The next moment, she was gone. The door of the beach hut swung shut behind her. Craig stood in the middle of the room with no idea what to do. Going after her would do no good. He didn’t have a solution to her problem. If he did, he would be running the country by now. There were thousands like her, stuck in a trap.He saw them every day, saw the results of their desperation and what they did as a result. He’d made the classic mistake, of thinking that just because he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps, anyone could change their life for the better.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He took off the top with the opener someone had screwed to the wall and took a sip. It tasted bitter. He put the bottle down. Getting drunk was no solution when you felt bad. He saw the results of substance abuse every day. People who took drink and drugs to forget, not to have fun.
He walked over to the settee and sat down. So much for a quiet, relaxing week. Instead, what had happened today had brought everything into sharp focus, highlighting all of the things he felt unhappy about. He had, he knew, joined the police for all the right reasons, but now he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing any more. When he looked at people like Jenna and sympathised with their plight, how could he carry on? Maybe it was time for him to make a difference in some other way. Turning a blind eye today was one thing, but he couldn’t do that when he went back to work.
The incident had only confirmed for himwhat he already felt in his gut, that the day was coming closer and closer when he would have to walk away.
Chapter Eight
Jenna ran all the way back up the beach to the road. Running on the sand was hard work, and she was soon out of breath. She slowed down to a walk as she went through the village towards the bus stop. She passed the Ship Aground again, and saw the band bringing in the gear for that evening’s singing competition. She stopped for a moment, wondering whether she had the nerve to enter.
‘Don’t be stupid, Jenna,’ she told herself. ‘You’re not good enough.’
She remembered her birthday, a few years ago now. Everyone had piled round to her house, all her brothers and sisters and their mates and her mates. The house was heaving, the booze was flowing and the music was pumping. There was a real party atmosphere, even though she hadn’t sent
‘Three weeks later, my brother got shot in a drive-by shooting and I decided to join the police. My mum never spoke to me again, because my brother had taught her to blame the cops for everything.’ Craig paused for breath. The memory was still painful. ‘So don’t give me your sob story. I could have followed in my brother’s footsteps. I had every opportunity, I can tell you. But I didn’t.’
Jenna didn’t say anything. She stared at the floor. Eventually she looked up.
‘I’m sorry about your brother,’ she said. ‘But it’s not that easy, you know. Just because you found a way out doesn’t mean that we all can.’
Craig frowned. ‘So that’s it, is it? You feel justified?’
Jenna jumped to her feet. ‘No. I never felt justified. I felt desperate.’ Her amber eyes were flashing as she crossed the room to stand in front of him. ‘How am I supposed to pay my rent? It’s no good telling me to go to the council. He wants cash. Now.’ She was trembling with fury. ‘Of course, there’s one way I could pay him. I know that. But I kind of thought nicking a few quid from people who wouldn’t notice was a better way to go than sleeping with some sleazebag . . .’
‘Hey, hey, hey.’ Alarmed by her reaction, he went to put his arm round her shoulder. She shook it off.
‘Just get off me.’ She pulled away from him and threw her bag across the room so that its contents spilled on the floor. ‘I’ll leave it up to you to do what you think is best with the money.’
The next moment, she was gone. The door of the beach hut swung shut behind her. Craig stood in the middle of the room with no idea what to do. Going after her would do no good. He didn’t have a solution to her problem. If he did, he would be running the country by now. There were thousands like her, stuck in a trap.He saw them every day, saw the results of their desperation and what they did as a result. He’d made the classic mistake, of thinking that just because he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps, anyone could change their life for the better.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He took off the top with the opener someone had screwed to the wall and took a sip. It tasted bitter. He put the bottle down. Getting drunk was no solution when you felt bad. He saw the results of substance abuse every day. People who took drink and drugs to forget, not to have fun.
He walked over to the settee and sat down. So much for a quiet, relaxing week. Instead, what had happened today had brought everything into sharp focus, highlighting all of the things he felt unhappy about. He had, he knew, joined the police for all the right reasons, but now he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing any more. When he looked at people like Jenna and sympathised with their plight, how could he carry on? Maybe it was time for him to make a difference in some other way. Turning a blind eye today was one thing, but he couldn’t do that when he went back to work.
The incident had only confirmed for himwhat he already felt in his gut, that the day was coming closer and closer when he would have to walk away.
Chapter Eight
Jenna ran all the way back up the beach to the road. Running on the sand was hard work, and she was soon out of breath. She slowed down to a walk as she went through the village towards the bus stop. She passed the Ship Aground again, and saw the band bringing in the gear for that evening’s singing competition. She stopped for a moment, wondering whether she had the nerve to enter.
‘Don’t be stupid, Jenna,’ she told herself. ‘You’re not good enough.’
She remembered her birthday, a few years ago now. Everyone had piled round to her house, all her brothers and sisters and their mates and her mates. The house was heaving, the booze was flowing and the music was pumping. There was a real party atmosphere, even though she hadn’t sent
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