A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket Page B

breakfast without silverware! Now, Coach Genghis, what can I do for you?" "Well, Nero," Genghis said, "I just wanted to give you this rose-a small gift of congratulations for the wonderful concert you gave us last night!" "Oh, thank you," Nero said, taking the rose out of Genghis's hand and giving it a good smell. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?" "You were perfection!" Genghis said. "The first time you played your sonata, I was deeply moved. The second time, I had tears in my eyes. The third time, I was sobbing. The fourth time, I had an uncontrollable emotional attack. The fifth time-" The Baudelaires did not hear about the fifth time because Nero's door swung shut behind them. They looked at one another in dismay. The Baudelaires had come very close to revealing Coach Genghis's disguise, but close was not enough. They trudged silently out of the administrative building and over to the cafe-teria. Evidently, Nero had already called the metal-masked cafeteria workers, because when Violet and Klaus reached the end of the line, the workers refused to hand them any silverware. Prufrock Prep was not serving oatmeal for breakfast, but Violet and Klaus knew that eating scrambled eggs with their hands was not going to be very pleasant. "Oh, don't worry about that," Isadora said when the children slid glumly into seats beside the Quagmires. "Here, Klaus and I will take turns with my silverware, and you can share with Duncan, Violet. Tell us how everything went in Nero's office." "Not very well," Violet admitted. "Coach Genghis got there right after we did, and we didn't want him to see that we knew who he really was." Isadora pulled her notebook out of her pocket and read out loud to her friends. "It would be a stroke of luck if Coach Genghis were hit by a truck," she read. "That's my latest poem. I know it's not that helpful, but I thought you might like to hear it anyway." "I did like hearing it," Klaus said. "And it certainly would be a stroke of luck if that happened. But I wouldn't bet on it." "Well, we'll think of another plan," Duncan said, handing Violet his fork. "I hope so," Violet said. "Count Olaf doesn't usually wait very long to put his evil schemes into action." "Kosbal!" Sunny shrieked. "Does Sunny mean 'I have a plan'?" Isadora asked. "I'm trying to get the hang of her way of talking." "I think she means something more like 'Here comes Carmelita Spats,'" Klaus said, pointing across the cafeteria. Sure enough, Carmelita Spats was walking toward their table with a big, smug smile on her face. "Hello, you cakesniffers," she said. "I have a message for you from Coach Genghis. I get to be his Special Messenger because I'm the cutest, prettiest, nicest girl in the whole school." "Oh, stop bragging, Carmelita," Duncan said. "You're just jealous," Carmelita replied, "because Coach Genghis likes me best instead of you." "I couldn't care less about Coach Genghis," Duncan said. "Just deliver your message and leave us alone." "The message is this," Carmelita said. "The three Baudelaire orphans are to report to the front lawn tonight, immediately after dinner." "After dinner?" Violet said. "But after dinner we're supposed to go to Nero's violin recital." "That's the message," Carmelita insisted. "He said that if you don't show up you'll be in big trouble, so if I were you, Violet-" "You aren't Violet, thank goodness," Duncan interrupted. It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself. "Thank you for your message. Good-bye." "It is traditional," Carmelita said, "to give a Special Messenger a tip after she has delivered a message." "If you don't leave us alone," Isadora said, "you're going to get a headful of scrambled eggs as a tip." "You're just a jealous cakesniffer," Carmelita sneered, but she left the Baudelaires and Quagmires alone. "Don't worry," Duncan said when he was sure Carmelita couldn't hear him. "It's still morning. We have all day to