A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket

oatmeal for breakfast? We'll have to scoop it up with our hands." "Oot," Sunny said, which meant "Trust me, it's not that difficult," and at that the Baudelaire sisters joined their brother in laughter. It was not funny, of course, that Nero enforced such terrible punishments, but the idea of eating oatmeal with their hands gave all three siblings the giggles. "Or fried eggs!" Violet said. "What if they serve runny fried eggs?" "Or pancakes, covered in syrup!" Klaus said. "Soup!" Sunny shrieked, and they all broke out in laughter again. "Remember the picnic?" Violet said. "We were going to Rutabaga River for a picnic, and Father was so excited about the meal he made that he forgot to pack silverware!" "Of course I remember," Klaus said. "We had to eat all that sweet-and-sour shrimp with our hands. "Sticky!" Sunny said, holding her hands up. "It sure was," Violet agreed. "Afterward, we went to wash our hands in the river, and we found a perfect place to try the fishing rod I made." "And I picked blackberries with Mother," Klaus said. "Eroos," Sunny said, which meant something like "And I bit rocks." The children stopped laughing now as they remembered that afternoon, which hadn't been so very long ago but felt like it had happened in the distant, distant past. After the fire, the children had known their parents were dead, of course, but it had felt like they had merely gone away somewhere and would be back before long. Now, remembering the way the sunlight had shone on the water of Rutabaga River and the laughter of their parents as they'd made a mess of themselves eating the sweet-and-sour shrimp, the picnic seemed so far away that they knew their parents were never coming back. "Maybe we'll go back there," Violet said quietly. "Maybe someday we can visit the river again, and catch fish and pick blackberries." "Maybe we can," Klaus said, but the Baude-laires all knew that even if someday they went back to Rutabaga River-which they never did, by the way-that it would not be the same. "Maybe we can, but in the meantime we've got to talk to Nero. Come on, here's the administrative building." The Baudelaires sighed and walked into the building, surrendering the use of Prufrock Prep's silverware. They climbed the stairs to the ninth floor and knocked on Nero's door, surprised that they could not hear him practicing the violin. "Come in if you must," Nero said, and the orphans walked in. Nero had his back to the door, looking at his reflection in the window as he tied a rubber band around one of his pigtails. When he was finished, he held both hands up in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, Vice Principal Nero!" he announced, and the children began applauding obediently. Nero whirled around. "I only expected to hear one person clapping," he said sternly. "Violet and Klaus, you're not allowed up here. You know that." "I beg your pardon, sir," Violet said, "but all three of us have something very important we need to discuss with you." "All three of us have something very important we need to discuss with you, " Nero replied in his usual nasty way. "It must be important for you to sacrifice your silverware privileges. Well, well, out with it. I have a lot of rehearsing to do for my next concert, so don't waste my time." "This won't take long," Klaus promised. He paused before continuing, which is a good thing to do if you're choosing your words very, very carefully. "We are concerned," he continued, choosing his words very, very carefully, "that Count Olaf may have somehow managed to get to Prufrock Prep." "Nonsense," Nero said. "Now go away and let me practice the violin." "But it might not be nonsense," Violet said. "Olaf is a master of disguise. He could be right under our very noses and we wouldn't know it." "The only thing under my nose," Nero said, "is my mouth, which is telling you to leave." "Count Olaf could be Mr. Remora," Klaus said. "Or Mrs. Bass." "Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass have taught at this school for more than forty-seven