conjure her childhood there she envisaged wet, slicked streets at dusk, veiled with sheets of feathery rain and grey buildings. Every winter she was plagued by asthma and lay awake, struggling for breath, imagining herself back in the crisp, dry sea air of her birthplace.
Elspeth became a peculiarly independent and resourceful child, immune to the slights to which the other, richer girls subjected her. When, in her third year at St Cuthbert' s, a school outing to Kirkcaldy was organised, Elspeth wore her school uniform while the other girls were dressed in bright sweaters and matching hats. On the train, a girl called Catriona Macfarlane started a whisper that Elspeth Laurie had no other clothes apart from her school uniform. Catriona was queen bee in their year, so even girls who liked Elspeth were obliged to join in the giggling and nudging. Elspeth stared resolutely out Ma g g i e D ' F a r r ell
of the window at the rain-smudged outskirts of Edinburgh. Catriona became incensed by Elspeth's lack of response,, began whispering more and more ostentatiously and eventually stood up in the aisle and roughly pulled the sleeve of Elspeth's regulation red cardigan. 'Elspeth, why are you wearing your school uniform? Don't you have any other clothes, Elspeth?'
Elspeth turned to face her. 'No, I don't.'
Catriona was thrown. She had expected denial or silence.
The other girls watched, tense and silent.
'Why don't you have any other clothes, Elspeth?'
Elspeth turned her gaze out of the window again. 'My father is a missionary and he doesn't have much money.'
'How come you can afford to go to this school, then?' 'The Church pays for me. ' Elspeth's voice was quiet, and they had to strain to hear her.
Then a teacher, Miss Scott, came bustling down the aisle. 'Catriona Macf arlane, what are you doing out of your seat? Sit back down again please. We are nearly there.'
Elspeth invites Ann to see the garden.
'Ben tells me you are a biologist,' Elspeth says, as they step outside the back door. 'What part of biology is it that you specialise in?' Elspeth is hoping that now they are alone, Ann might open out a little more. Elspeth likes women. She finds their minds and lives interesting, and enjoys their company, especially that of educated, bright young women. She is always saddened that she could not have had a daughter after her two boys.
'Plant life, I suppose. My thesis was more to do with botany than biology.'
'How marvellous. You must get stuck into this garden
when you live here. It's far too big for me to manage, as you can see.'
5 2
The garden is indeed huge, with lush green grass sloping down to Westgate and a croquet lawn to the left of the house. The broad horizon of the sea glints through the gaps in the trees. Ann wanders away towards the bottom of the garden. The bright white of her dress hurts Elspeth's eyes. She notices Ben hovering in the kitchen window and pretends not to see.
'Where is it that you are from, Ann?' she calls.
Ann speaks without turning round. 'My parents live in London now, but I grew up mostly in a boarding-school in the middle of Dartmoor.'
'I spent a large chunk of my childhood in a boarding-school for young ladies in Edinburgh. It's surprising the number of people who did. Did your parents live abroad?'
'My father was a musician and my mother used to travel the world with him. '
'Ah. Are you musical yourself?'
Ann shakes her head. 'The school I went to didn't teach you anything apart from social skills. '
'I see. Boarding-schools are funny things. I refused to send the boys away, even though Gordon's parents wanted me to. I wanted them to grow up here in North Berwick.'
'People who send their children away to boarding-school should never have had them in the first place,' Ann says bitterly, stripping the branch she is fingering of its leaves. Elspeth begins to understand a little more of her prospective daughter-in-law.
Ben and Ann were married in what had once been Elspeth's father's
Elspeth became a peculiarly independent and resourceful child, immune to the slights to which the other, richer girls subjected her. When, in her third year at St Cuthbert' s, a school outing to Kirkcaldy was organised, Elspeth wore her school uniform while the other girls were dressed in bright sweaters and matching hats. On the train, a girl called Catriona Macfarlane started a whisper that Elspeth Laurie had no other clothes apart from her school uniform. Catriona was queen bee in their year, so even girls who liked Elspeth were obliged to join in the giggling and nudging. Elspeth stared resolutely out Ma g g i e D ' F a r r ell
of the window at the rain-smudged outskirts of Edinburgh. Catriona became incensed by Elspeth's lack of response,, began whispering more and more ostentatiously and eventually stood up in the aisle and roughly pulled the sleeve of Elspeth's regulation red cardigan. 'Elspeth, why are you wearing your school uniform? Don't you have any other clothes, Elspeth?'
Elspeth turned to face her. 'No, I don't.'
Catriona was thrown. She had expected denial or silence.
The other girls watched, tense and silent.
'Why don't you have any other clothes, Elspeth?'
Elspeth turned her gaze out of the window again. 'My father is a missionary and he doesn't have much money.'
'How come you can afford to go to this school, then?' 'The Church pays for me. ' Elspeth's voice was quiet, and they had to strain to hear her.
Then a teacher, Miss Scott, came bustling down the aisle. 'Catriona Macf arlane, what are you doing out of your seat? Sit back down again please. We are nearly there.'
Elspeth invites Ann to see the garden.
'Ben tells me you are a biologist,' Elspeth says, as they step outside the back door. 'What part of biology is it that you specialise in?' Elspeth is hoping that now they are alone, Ann might open out a little more. Elspeth likes women. She finds their minds and lives interesting, and enjoys their company, especially that of educated, bright young women. She is always saddened that she could not have had a daughter after her two boys.
'Plant life, I suppose. My thesis was more to do with botany than biology.'
'How marvellous. You must get stuck into this garden
when you live here. It's far too big for me to manage, as you can see.'
5 2
The garden is indeed huge, with lush green grass sloping down to Westgate and a croquet lawn to the left of the house. The broad horizon of the sea glints through the gaps in the trees. Ann wanders away towards the bottom of the garden. The bright white of her dress hurts Elspeth's eyes. She notices Ben hovering in the kitchen window and pretends not to see.
'Where is it that you are from, Ann?' she calls.
Ann speaks without turning round. 'My parents live in London now, but I grew up mostly in a boarding-school in the middle of Dartmoor.'
'I spent a large chunk of my childhood in a boarding-school for young ladies in Edinburgh. It's surprising the number of people who did. Did your parents live abroad?'
'My father was a musician and my mother used to travel the world with him. '
'Ah. Are you musical yourself?'
Ann shakes her head. 'The school I went to didn't teach you anything apart from social skills. '
'I see. Boarding-schools are funny things. I refused to send the boys away, even though Gordon's parents wanted me to. I wanted them to grow up here in North Berwick.'
'People who send their children away to boarding-school should never have had them in the first place,' Ann says bitterly, stripping the branch she is fingering of its leaves. Elspeth begins to understand a little more of her prospective daughter-in-law.
Ben and Ann were married in what had once been Elspeth's father's
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