empty house. The familiar glare of the streetlight splayed past him into the dark entry. He listened and heard nothing.
Like an old movie reel grinding to life, his brain supplied an image of Alex getting raped in the dark. He turned on the light to dispel it.
On the dining room table, his forgotten cell phone blinked at him. Low power, it said, and Voicemail.
"Hi Ian, it's your mom. Just wondering about Thanksgiving this year. I know it's a month out, but I just want to start making plans. I hope you can make it. Alina is welcome, too. Should I call her?"
Ian winced. Mom, god.
"I won't call her unless you want me to, just in case. But anyway, I think it's gonna be at three. Let me know if you're gonna bring anything. You don't have to, but you can if you want. Give me a call. I haven't talked to you in a long time. I love you, honey."
" End of message." He erased it.
" Second. New message. Left? Yesterday, at nine. Eleven. PM. From ALIHNUH KOL-MES."
The phone was still sitting on the table, on speaker mode. Ian paused on his way to the kitchen, turned toward it.
Click. "End of message."
33
He woke around four in the morning and stumbled into the bathroom to pee. Alex was on the toilet already, his pants and underwear in a crushed jumble on the floor.
"Sorry I scared you, Daddy." He sounded resigned, but reticent. "I only didn't think you could hear me. So that's why I yelled so loud."
That's okay, pal. When he was three and four, Alex had needed help cleaning up after using the toilet. He hadn't mastered that skill until he turned five. It's hard to hear you from downstairs. Next time I'll stay up here.
"Okay. Will you wipe my butt now?" Alex hopped down to the floor, and was gone.
Ian flipped the light on, still bleary and unsteady.
"That's okay, Alex," Ian said to the empty room. "No more hide and seek, okay?"
34
On Monday he filled out the online application for the job Justin had sent him. It wanted him to attach a résumé. He crafted one between calls.
Billi caught him working on it. "You bailing on us?"
"Trying," Ian said.
She lowered her voice. "Where you applying?"
"Just the senior job on Kate's team."
" Oh. I thought you were applying elsewhere. " She gestured at the wall.
"Nah. I need a reference though, can I put you down?"
"Sure. You'll like it. It beats being on the phones. You only have to talk to the real jackasses." A grin.
"What a treat." He matched her tone. "Mainly I just want to get away from..."
She caught his nod toward Sheila, answered with a nod of her own. "Just don't mention that as your main reason in the interview."
"Nope, I know."
"You'd be good at it. Kate's less of a stickler on the whole time thing. I'll put in the good word."
He was coming in late nearly every morning, had trouble lately keeping his temper with his coworkers and sometimes with callers, but Billi would put in the good word.
"Why?" The word took him by surprise; it hung in the air like he'd just coughed up a fur ball.
Billi looked at him. "Why... will I put in the good word?"
He felt like an idiot, wished he'd kept his mouth shut. "Never mind."
She scoffed. "Ian, come on. You can't mean that. You're fantastic."
It had been so long since he heard praise, he wondered at first if she was mocking him. His skepticism must've shown, because she said, "You get the right answers, the first time. You hardly ever ask me for help. You don't need it. Everybody's comfortable coming to you, you don't put anyone down, you're easy to understand and approachable."
"I'm late every goddamn morning and I feel like I'm sniping at everybody all the time."
Billi shrugged. "You snipe at Sheila, maybe, but she deserves it. Jorge was telling me the other day he didn't know what he'd do if you
Like an old movie reel grinding to life, his brain supplied an image of Alex getting raped in the dark. He turned on the light to dispel it.
On the dining room table, his forgotten cell phone blinked at him. Low power, it said, and Voicemail.
"Hi Ian, it's your mom. Just wondering about Thanksgiving this year. I know it's a month out, but I just want to start making plans. I hope you can make it. Alina is welcome, too. Should I call her?"
Ian winced. Mom, god.
"I won't call her unless you want me to, just in case. But anyway, I think it's gonna be at three. Let me know if you're gonna bring anything. You don't have to, but you can if you want. Give me a call. I haven't talked to you in a long time. I love you, honey."
" End of message." He erased it.
" Second. New message. Left? Yesterday, at nine. Eleven. PM. From ALIHNUH KOL-MES."
The phone was still sitting on the table, on speaker mode. Ian paused on his way to the kitchen, turned toward it.
Click. "End of message."
33
He woke around four in the morning and stumbled into the bathroom to pee. Alex was on the toilet already, his pants and underwear in a crushed jumble on the floor.
"Sorry I scared you, Daddy." He sounded resigned, but reticent. "I only didn't think you could hear me. So that's why I yelled so loud."
That's okay, pal. When he was three and four, Alex had needed help cleaning up after using the toilet. He hadn't mastered that skill until he turned five. It's hard to hear you from downstairs. Next time I'll stay up here.
"Okay. Will you wipe my butt now?" Alex hopped down to the floor, and was gone.
Ian flipped the light on, still bleary and unsteady.
"That's okay, Alex," Ian said to the empty room. "No more hide and seek, okay?"
34
On Monday he filled out the online application for the job Justin had sent him. It wanted him to attach a résumé. He crafted one between calls.
Billi caught him working on it. "You bailing on us?"
"Trying," Ian said.
She lowered her voice. "Where you applying?"
"Just the senior job on Kate's team."
" Oh. I thought you were applying elsewhere. " She gestured at the wall.
"Nah. I need a reference though, can I put you down?"
"Sure. You'll like it. It beats being on the phones. You only have to talk to the real jackasses." A grin.
"What a treat." He matched her tone. "Mainly I just want to get away from..."
She caught his nod toward Sheila, answered with a nod of her own. "Just don't mention that as your main reason in the interview."
"Nope, I know."
"You'd be good at it. Kate's less of a stickler on the whole time thing. I'll put in the good word."
He was coming in late nearly every morning, had trouble lately keeping his temper with his coworkers and sometimes with callers, but Billi would put in the good word.
"Why?" The word took him by surprise; it hung in the air like he'd just coughed up a fur ball.
Billi looked at him. "Why... will I put in the good word?"
He felt like an idiot, wished he'd kept his mouth shut. "Never mind."
She scoffed. "Ian, come on. You can't mean that. You're fantastic."
It had been so long since he heard praise, he wondered at first if she was mocking him. His skepticism must've shown, because she said, "You get the right answers, the first time. You hardly ever ask me for help. You don't need it. Everybody's comfortable coming to you, you don't put anyone down, you're easy to understand and approachable."
"I'm late every goddamn morning and I feel like I'm sniping at everybody all the time."
Billi shrugged. "You snipe at Sheila, maybe, but she deserves it. Jorge was telling me the other day he didn't know what he'd do if you
Similar Books
