pockets and throw the rest of the food away. An hour and a half into the movie, my patience is slowly running out. India has her own routine with films. Back in high school we used to go out together to the cinema often, as my brother was a fucking boring git and he hated India ’ s hobby. We both used to order a lot of food and enjoyed each other ’ s company until that one kiss that completely blew my mind off.
I spot her a couple of moments later, heading to the toilet as I expected. There is no one else in the corridor, so I head to the cinema staff and hand him my ticket. The older guy doesn ’ t ask any questions and after another moment, I slide into the girls ’ restroom. There are several toilet stalls. Fortunately for me, all of them are empty apart from one. If any other woman was to walk in now then I ’ m screwed, but India is worth the risk. My pulse starts racing as I calculate what to say and do.
Every part of me is waiting for her, muscles straining, shallow breaths and pounding heart. This isn ’ t me. I normally don ’ t get taken aback by emotions. I hear the flushing toilet and then she comes out, pulling her T-shirt back in place. My breath seizes as she lifts those eyes at me.
“ What the hell is wrong with you? Are you following me now, just to stab me while I ’ m down? ”
“ India, you need to let me explain …”
She keeps staring back, working her jaw. For a brief moment I expect her to start shouting or calling me names, but she doesn ’ t do any of that. I ’ ve prepared a speech, but she is too calm.
“ So do you think you have everything figured out, Oliver? That you can just barge back into my life, expecting me to kneel down and accept whatever apology you ’ ve prepared? ”
I open my mouth to tell her that she should at least let me explain myself, but then she moves towards the sink and runs the water, washing her hands. Her words echo in my head as she continues. “ No, I ’ m not one of the girls on campus. I came here expecting to start over, put the past behind me. You gave me hell and, yeah, maybe I deserved it, but I didn ’ t deserve yet more pain and humiliation. You were furious, but I kept trying to talk to you, to apologise —”
“ India, please believe me. I told Sam to ditch this idea, but then —”
“ You couldn ’ t help yourself, could you? You had to humiliate me like that. God, Oliver, you had no idea how happy I was when we went out for that dinner, ” she adds calmly, shutting off the running water.
She strips me of my confidence and for a split second I have no idea what to say. My pulse pounds in my neck. I clear my throat, not understanding why she is not shouting for me to leave.
“ The letters, India. I had no idea … Christian —”
“ That Christian was a psycho? Well, I didn ’ t either, and you have no idea how it was for me then. When you didn ’ t show at that party. He knew way before how I felt about you. Then after my mother told me about the accident, I thought that my nightmare was finally over, but no. He left his mark all over me, forcing these disgusting memories into my head forever. After the funeral I wanted to tell so many people, but I couldn ’ t because everyone was grieving. ”
She stands over the sink, tensing her shoulders. Her voice is even and her eyes are on me. Blood rushes through my veins like hot lava; her pain is almost unbearable to me. I could have reclaimed her, deserved to be with her if I hadn ’ t gone through with the bet, but I only inflicted more suffering. I ’ m not worthy to have her back. The prank changed her and she is not running away. She ’ s challenging me and I ’ m losing my breath because I ’ m still hoping my sincere apology will be enough. India is the only girl who ’ s made me realise that I ’ m nothing special, that I can ’ t have her because she ’ s moved on.
“ Sometimes I don ’ t think before I act and when you mentioned my brother
I spot her a couple of moments later, heading to the toilet as I expected. There is no one else in the corridor, so I head to the cinema staff and hand him my ticket. The older guy doesn ’ t ask any questions and after another moment, I slide into the girls ’ restroom. There are several toilet stalls. Fortunately for me, all of them are empty apart from one. If any other woman was to walk in now then I ’ m screwed, but India is worth the risk. My pulse starts racing as I calculate what to say and do.
Every part of me is waiting for her, muscles straining, shallow breaths and pounding heart. This isn ’ t me. I normally don ’ t get taken aback by emotions. I hear the flushing toilet and then she comes out, pulling her T-shirt back in place. My breath seizes as she lifts those eyes at me.
“ What the hell is wrong with you? Are you following me now, just to stab me while I ’ m down? ”
“ India, you need to let me explain …”
She keeps staring back, working her jaw. For a brief moment I expect her to start shouting or calling me names, but she doesn ’ t do any of that. I ’ ve prepared a speech, but she is too calm.
“ So do you think you have everything figured out, Oliver? That you can just barge back into my life, expecting me to kneel down and accept whatever apology you ’ ve prepared? ”
I open my mouth to tell her that she should at least let me explain myself, but then she moves towards the sink and runs the water, washing her hands. Her words echo in my head as she continues. “ No, I ’ m not one of the girls on campus. I came here expecting to start over, put the past behind me. You gave me hell and, yeah, maybe I deserved it, but I didn ’ t deserve yet more pain and humiliation. You were furious, but I kept trying to talk to you, to apologise —”
“ India, please believe me. I told Sam to ditch this idea, but then —”
“ You couldn ’ t help yourself, could you? You had to humiliate me like that. God, Oliver, you had no idea how happy I was when we went out for that dinner, ” she adds calmly, shutting off the running water.
She strips me of my confidence and for a split second I have no idea what to say. My pulse pounds in my neck. I clear my throat, not understanding why she is not shouting for me to leave.
“ The letters, India. I had no idea … Christian —”
“ That Christian was a psycho? Well, I didn ’ t either, and you have no idea how it was for me then. When you didn ’ t show at that party. He knew way before how I felt about you. Then after my mother told me about the accident, I thought that my nightmare was finally over, but no. He left his mark all over me, forcing these disgusting memories into my head forever. After the funeral I wanted to tell so many people, but I couldn ’ t because everyone was grieving. ”
She stands over the sink, tensing her shoulders. Her voice is even and her eyes are on me. Blood rushes through my veins like hot lava; her pain is almost unbearable to me. I could have reclaimed her, deserved to be with her if I hadn ’ t gone through with the bet, but I only inflicted more suffering. I ’ m not worthy to have her back. The prank changed her and she is not running away. She ’ s challenging me and I ’ m losing my breath because I ’ m still hoping my sincere apology will be enough. India is the only girl who ’ s made me realise that I ’ m nothing special, that I can ’ t have her because she ’ s moved on.
“ Sometimes I don ’ t think before I act and when you mentioned my brother
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