difficult for her, given the numbness in her hands since the
stroke. “Trying to play the independent game with him, huh?”
She was frustrating as hell and always saw right through me and I loved her for it.
I waved to Mrs. Jackson’s daughter, Star, as she strode through the door for a visit. “Oh good. Now
you can complain about how Star and her husband work too much and need more date nights.” I winked
as I exited the table.
That night I tried to have a quickie with Rob—at his place, instead of mine. I had so much pent-up
sexual frustration I didn’t know what to do. Rob had two roommates, and they were a pain in the ass.
Always high as kites in front of the PlayStation. The place was a disaster, and I refused to ever use the
one bathroom they all shared. No way did I want to see nasty public hairs clinging to the wall or yellow
trails of pee on the floor. Men had disgusting habits; that was for sure. One of the many reasons I was better off without one in my life.
After Rob brought me up to his room, he immediately lifted my shirt and began pawing at me. No
erotic foreplay there. Not that I’d ever needed it before.
His hands were rough, his kisses sloppy, and for the first time I asked myself how I’d ever been
with him so many times. It suddenly felt different, and there was definitely no damn fire in my belly.
It might be the first time I’d have to fake it, but I didn’t want to disappoint Rob. We used each other
for just this purpose, and if he needed to get off, then I’d oblige. But damn, I needed it, too. My vibrator
had been a poor substitute for flesh and bones. Or boner, in this case.
An hour later, I was on my way home and less satisfied than I’d been in a good long while.
***
The second night I slept alone in my bed, I told myself things were finally getting back to normal. I
ignored the tightness lodged in my throat that I was missing something—missing someone—and
convinced myself that Bennett was fine with it as well, because he never tried to contact me, either.
I was going to a party with Ella and Rachel that evening and was excited about being out with my
friends again. But as I got dressed I couldn’t help wondering if Bennett would show up. It was the same
frat house throwing the party as a couple weeks ago, and Bennett had mentioned that the one jock was a
customer of his. Said he had inked two tattoos on his biceps in the past year.
And so I found myself dressing for Bennett as much as for me. Pathetic. I wore my favorite skinny
jeans with a flowing top that I left unbuttoned to the center of my chest. I wore a white cami underneath
that had a built-in bra. It made my small breasts look firm and round.
When we first arrived I begrudgingly admitted to myself that I was disappointed that Bennett
wasn’t there. His friend Nate was, but I refused eye contact with him. It didn’t stop me from drinking
shots of tequila with Rachel and Ella and having a good time.
The music was pumping, the bodies were wall to wall, and the girls and I danced a few songs. I felt myself letting loose and not thinking so hard. We let a couple of guys dance with us, but when one
started getting frisky, I turned him down. Definitely not because of Bennett. I just wanted to ease back
into the game slowly.
We sipped the margaritas that Rachel mixed especially for tonight, and they felt good going down.
She leaned toward me and shouted above the music. “A yummy guy keeps looking over here. If you
don’t want him, I’ll take him.”
I looked up and saw Bennett leaning against the wall, a beer in his hand. He practically knocked the
wind out of me he was so stunning. He lifted his hand in a wave and I smiled back.
“That’s him, isn’t it?” Ella shouted into my ear. “Your neighbor?”
“Yep.” I bit my lip while my heart performed
stroke. “Trying to play the independent game with him, huh?”
She was frustrating as hell and always saw right through me and I loved her for it.
I waved to Mrs. Jackson’s daughter, Star, as she strode through the door for a visit. “Oh good. Now
you can complain about how Star and her husband work too much and need more date nights.” I winked
as I exited the table.
That night I tried to have a quickie with Rob—at his place, instead of mine. I had so much pent-up
sexual frustration I didn’t know what to do. Rob had two roommates, and they were a pain in the ass.
Always high as kites in front of the PlayStation. The place was a disaster, and I refused to ever use the
one bathroom they all shared. No way did I want to see nasty public hairs clinging to the wall or yellow
trails of pee on the floor. Men had disgusting habits; that was for sure. One of the many reasons I was better off without one in my life.
After Rob brought me up to his room, he immediately lifted my shirt and began pawing at me. No
erotic foreplay there. Not that I’d ever needed it before.
His hands were rough, his kisses sloppy, and for the first time I asked myself how I’d ever been
with him so many times. It suddenly felt different, and there was definitely no damn fire in my belly.
It might be the first time I’d have to fake it, but I didn’t want to disappoint Rob. We used each other
for just this purpose, and if he needed to get off, then I’d oblige. But damn, I needed it, too. My vibrator
had been a poor substitute for flesh and bones. Or boner, in this case.
An hour later, I was on my way home and less satisfied than I’d been in a good long while.
***
The second night I slept alone in my bed, I told myself things were finally getting back to normal. I
ignored the tightness lodged in my throat that I was missing something—missing someone—and
convinced myself that Bennett was fine with it as well, because he never tried to contact me, either.
I was going to a party with Ella and Rachel that evening and was excited about being out with my
friends again. But as I got dressed I couldn’t help wondering if Bennett would show up. It was the same
frat house throwing the party as a couple weeks ago, and Bennett had mentioned that the one jock was a
customer of his. Said he had inked two tattoos on his biceps in the past year.
And so I found myself dressing for Bennett as much as for me. Pathetic. I wore my favorite skinny
jeans with a flowing top that I left unbuttoned to the center of my chest. I wore a white cami underneath
that had a built-in bra. It made my small breasts look firm and round.
When we first arrived I begrudgingly admitted to myself that I was disappointed that Bennett
wasn’t there. His friend Nate was, but I refused eye contact with him. It didn’t stop me from drinking
shots of tequila with Rachel and Ella and having a good time.
The music was pumping, the bodies were wall to wall, and the girls and I danced a few songs. I felt myself letting loose and not thinking so hard. We let a couple of guys dance with us, but when one
started getting frisky, I turned him down. Definitely not because of Bennett. I just wanted to ease back
into the game slowly.
We sipped the margaritas that Rachel mixed especially for tonight, and they felt good going down.
She leaned toward me and shouted above the music. “A yummy guy keeps looking over here. If you
don’t want him, I’ll take him.”
I looked up and saw Bennett leaning against the wall, a beer in his hand. He practically knocked the
wind out of me he was so stunning. He lifted his hand in a wave and I smiled back.
“That’s him, isn’t it?” Ella shouted into my ear. “Your neighbor?”
“Yep.” I bit my lip while my heart performed
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