All the Things I Didn't See by Cindy Sutherland Page A

didn’t seem to realize they were checking on him as much as they were Sam.
    Josh was grateful when his friend Paul offered to run to his apartment and pick up some of the clothes and toiletries he needed. He sent a brief text to Stephanie, asking her to throw some stuff in a bag for him, and he was completely surprised when she agreed.
    Josh showered in the small bathroom attached to Sam’s room and ate dinner in the cafeteria with Paul one night when Nicole had threatened to have him kicked out of the hospital if he continued starving himself.
    Other than that, he hadn’t left. Josh kept his vigil, sitting beside Sam, holding his hand and talking to him quietly.
    Josh had never been the chatty kind. He left that up to Sam, for the most part. But the silence was unbearable, and Josh clung to the hope that his friend would hear him and find a way out of the darkness and back to them.
    Evan hadn’t tried to come back since Josh threw him out, and it both angered and relieved him. He was angry, because he knew that nothing would ever make him leave and Evan had just given up without trying.
He was relieved because it meant more uninterrupted time for him to spend with Sam.
     
When this was all over, Josh knew he was going to have to think about what all this meant.
    He felt fierce and protective of Sam, and he wasn’t sure it was just about the shooting. But when he tried to think about it too much, it just ended up all tangled up in waiting for Sam to get better.
    Mary and Kenneth seemed content to let Josh spend as much time with Sam as he wanted. He supposed that some people might find it odd, but it just felt right for all of them. Especially Josh.
B
EEP , beep, beep….
     
What’s that sound? Someone’s phone? Evan’s? No, Evan slept in the spare room now.
    If it would shut up maybe he could go back to sleep. He was so fucking tired. But it went on and on.
Later it was a different sound pulling him toward wakefulness.
Someone was talking!
He could hear voices that seemed to be coming from far away. Someone was talking to him, but he was confused. Who was it? Oh… there was more than one.
He faded out again.
Mom? She’s upset! What’s going on? Dad? Is that you? Why can’t I move? Damn it!
Who else is there? God, everything hurts….
The next time awareness started to come back, it was stronger.
That voice. Josh, is that you? He needed to see Josh! There was something wrong….
God, he was so scared!
A gun! Someone had a gun. He was gonna hurt Josh! No! Gotta stop him! He can’t! Josh!
    J
OSH had been sitting beside Sam’s bed, telling him about the time his sister had decided he was going to play dress up with her, when Sam’s heart monitor suddenly sped up.
    After the slow, steady rhythm he had been used to, the change was jolting. He was just reaching for the call button when the hand under his moved and gripped his so tight he thought his fingers were going to break.
    A low, broken moan drew Josh’s gaze to Sam’s face to witness those dark eyes opening and searching the room dazedly before finding Josh’s watery blue ones.
They were still, looking at each other for a second, and Josh could see the moment the panic set in.
    He gripped Sam’s hand tightly with one hand and used the other to card through Sam’s hair as he sought to reassure him.
    “Sam, it’s okay. I know you’re scared but you’re gonna be fine.” He reached for the call button again, pushing it this time.
“Can I help you?” The tinny voice on the intercom startled Sam.
     
Josh smiled at him before answering. “We need some help in here. Sam’s awake.”
    There was a tiny shake of Sam’s head, and Josh knew Sam wasn’t worried about himself. He grinned at his friend, reassuring him.
“I’m fine, I promise. Not a scratch on me. I promise.”
    He could see Sam trying to smile around the ventilator, and it was everything he could do to keep the smile on his face.
    Josh heard footsteps and looked up to find Nicole coming