and sit down on my bed.
The fear that’s coursing through my veins is overwhelming. I haven’t allowed
myself to think about the last time I got caught in a lie to my father. The
memory of it is so vivid, it’s as though it just happened. I shake my head,
desperately trying to rid my mind of such gruesome thoughts. It happened six
years ago and I’m still unable to forget.
I hear the front door close shortly after I came
upstairs and I know he’s home. I know mum won’t mention anything about tonight
to him. She wouldn’t dare, she already knows what the consequences would be for
something like this. I’m aware of how selfish this is of me to ask her to lie
for me but I don’t have a choice. I need to ignore risks that are involved and
how dangerous all of this is. I have to see Jake again and this is my only
chance.
I lie in bed later on, gazing
up at the twinkling stars in the sky. For the first time in a long while I feel
hopeful. Something has changed and I don’t know if that change will be life
altering or not but something’s different. Things will no longer be the way
that they were before and this in itself is frightening. I feel exhilarated and
nervous all at the same time. I feel awake, alert and so alive. My final
thought before I eventually fall asleep is of him and the moment when I will
get to see him again, as soon as that happens I’ll know all of this is worth
it.
The next morning is Saturday and I wake up wondering if
what happened last night has all just been a crazy dream. I start to believe
that Jake is just a figment of my imagination, a desperate attempt to create
some sort of excitement for myself and I’ve now gone and taken it too far by actually
believing my own illusions.
I take my morning shower, get dressed and head
downstairs. I’m all prepared to battle it out with mum if I have to about next
Friday. I don’t care what it takes I’m going to see Jake again, regardless of
what I have to do to make it happen.
“Good morning, Mum.” I say cheerfully, entering the
kitchen.
“Morning, Bethany. Did you sleep well?” The optimistic
expression on her face is forced but besides that she seems relatively normal.
I was half expecting another turbulent discussion similar to the one we had
last night about me going out next Friday.
I know the lie I told about my old school friend Amy wasn’t
the best that I could come up with but I couldn’t think of anything else. Mum
met her on a couple of occasions so I know she would partly believe my reason
for being so late home.
“I slept ok, you?”
“Not really.” She replies softly, making me feel guilty for
putting this amount of pressure on her. I can imagine she was tossing and
turning all night worrying about everything.
“Mum, I don’t want to get into an argument with you but I
want you to know that I haven’t changed my mind about meeting Amy next week.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Bethany. I’ve been
thinking about what you said and I do see where you’re coming from. It’s nice
that you’ve met up with an old friend again but I’m not at all comfortable with
you sneaking out behind your Dad’s back. I can’t even begin to think about what
he’d do if he ever found out.” She wrings her hands together anxiously; the desperation
on her face makes me feel unbelievably cruel. She’s about to crack and it
hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.
“I need some sort of social life and there’s no way that
Dad will allow me to see Amy again. This is the only way.” I argue.
“I’m not promising anything, Bethany. We’ll have to just
wait and see.”
I nod my head in agreement,
knowing that this is the best compromise we can make… for now.
After breakfast we head over to gran’s house like we do
every Saturday. I’m desperate to get her on her own and tell her all about
Jake. I know she’ll support me meeting someone who I’m really interested in but
I’m not so sure if she’ll
The fear that’s coursing through my veins is overwhelming. I haven’t allowed
myself to think about the last time I got caught in a lie to my father. The
memory of it is so vivid, it’s as though it just happened. I shake my head,
desperately trying to rid my mind of such gruesome thoughts. It happened six
years ago and I’m still unable to forget.
I hear the front door close shortly after I came
upstairs and I know he’s home. I know mum won’t mention anything about tonight
to him. She wouldn’t dare, she already knows what the consequences would be for
something like this. I’m aware of how selfish this is of me to ask her to lie
for me but I don’t have a choice. I need to ignore risks that are involved and
how dangerous all of this is. I have to see Jake again and this is my only
chance.
I lie in bed later on, gazing
up at the twinkling stars in the sky. For the first time in a long while I feel
hopeful. Something has changed and I don’t know if that change will be life
altering or not but something’s different. Things will no longer be the way
that they were before and this in itself is frightening. I feel exhilarated and
nervous all at the same time. I feel awake, alert and so alive. My final
thought before I eventually fall asleep is of him and the moment when I will
get to see him again, as soon as that happens I’ll know all of this is worth
it.
The next morning is Saturday and I wake up wondering if
what happened last night has all just been a crazy dream. I start to believe
that Jake is just a figment of my imagination, a desperate attempt to create
some sort of excitement for myself and I’ve now gone and taken it too far by actually
believing my own illusions.
I take my morning shower, get dressed and head
downstairs. I’m all prepared to battle it out with mum if I have to about next
Friday. I don’t care what it takes I’m going to see Jake again, regardless of
what I have to do to make it happen.
“Good morning, Mum.” I say cheerfully, entering the
kitchen.
“Morning, Bethany. Did you sleep well?” The optimistic
expression on her face is forced but besides that she seems relatively normal.
I was half expecting another turbulent discussion similar to the one we had
last night about me going out next Friday.
I know the lie I told about my old school friend Amy wasn’t
the best that I could come up with but I couldn’t think of anything else. Mum
met her on a couple of occasions so I know she would partly believe my reason
for being so late home.
“I slept ok, you?”
“Not really.” She replies softly, making me feel guilty for
putting this amount of pressure on her. I can imagine she was tossing and
turning all night worrying about everything.
“Mum, I don’t want to get into an argument with you but I
want you to know that I haven’t changed my mind about meeting Amy next week.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Bethany. I’ve been
thinking about what you said and I do see where you’re coming from. It’s nice
that you’ve met up with an old friend again but I’m not at all comfortable with
you sneaking out behind your Dad’s back. I can’t even begin to think about what
he’d do if he ever found out.” She wrings her hands together anxiously; the desperation
on her face makes me feel unbelievably cruel. She’s about to crack and it
hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.
“I need some sort of social life and there’s no way that
Dad will allow me to see Amy again. This is the only way.” I argue.
“I’m not promising anything, Bethany. We’ll have to just
wait and see.”
I nod my head in agreement,
knowing that this is the best compromise we can make… for now.
After breakfast we head over to gran’s house like we do
every Saturday. I’m desperate to get her on her own and tell her all about
Jake. I know she’ll support me meeting someone who I’m really interested in but
I’m not so sure if she’ll
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