Always and Forever by Soraya Lane Page B

There had been something therapeutic about stroking Blue’s thick fur, fingers lost in the repetitive motion of kneading him back and forth. But it hadn’t been the same as having Matt at home. She sighed; she craved him when he wasn’t there, and craved space when he was.
    Lisa padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower, staring at herself in the mirror. It was like looking at a stranger. Her eyes were hollow, dark shadows beneath them, hair hanging limp, unloved. Her skin was pale, not the usual golden tan she sported over summer. But today was different. Today she was going to haul herself into the shop and work out front instead of staying hidden in her office designing. Today she was going to make herself look good. Today she was going to force herself to be part of the world again and reconnect with her customers.
    Lisa showered, washed her hair and pinned it up as she rubbed a tanning moisturizer into her skin after drying. While she waited for that to dry in, she smothered her face in cream and then went out to get dressed. She reluctantly pulled a blind and saw that the sun was shining, so picked a little striped dress out of her wardrobe. She might feel like dying inside, but to the rest of the world she didn’t want to be a pity case. She just wanted to dive back into work head first and try to find herself again. She got out her hairdryer and quickly blasted her hair, head upside down as she dried it.
    There was no other way she could see to move forward, unless hiding in bed and in her office for the rest of her life was an option.
    Her mobile rang and she crossed the room to look for it, found it on the floor beside the bed. She answered, not recognizing the number.
    “Lisa, hi. It’s Dr. Lindsay.”
    She hated hearing his name. Every time she’d ever spoken with him, it had been bad news in some form.
    “Hi,” she managed, shivering as she wondered what he was going to say. She knew she should be grateful to this amazing man for saving her life, but right now he was just the man who’d made her terminate her baby and robbed her of the chance of ever conceiving another.
    “Lisa, I have great news. Your latest results are back in and the surgery was most definitely a success. I can confirm that as of right now we definitely won’t need to pursue any further treatments. Everything went as planned.”
    Yeah, as planned because they’d cured her—he didn’t bother to mention what they’d taken away from her. She was silent for a beat before forcing herself to answer. “So the surgery worked? The cancer has gone?”
    “Yes, it worked. We never like to use the word cured when it comes to cancer, and it’s still early days so we’ll continue to do tests to monitor you. We’ll be vigilant with checking you from now on, but going from these initial post-surgery tests, it’s looking good.”
    What he was trying to say was that what she’d been through had been worth it. Lisa took a deep breath. She hated feeling like such a bitch, but it was like she was slipping into darkness all the time, unable to see the glass as half full after a lifetime of being so defiant in the face of anything bad that came her way.
    “Thanks for the call,” she said. “It’s great news.”
    So why was she so numb? Lisa ended the call but clutched tight to her mobile as she walked out into the hall and found Matt in the kitchen.
    “What?” Matt’s face lit up as he put down his mug and stared at her.
    “The surgery worked,” she mumbled. “Dr. Lindsay’s confirmed that I definitely won’t need chemo or anything else, just like they expected.”
    Matt closed the distance between them in seconds, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her clean off her feet. “Woo hoo! Best news ever.”
    She smiled, fought the urge to snap at him and tell him to put her down. He was happy and she should have been, too.
    “So everything’s fine? I mean, it’s over?” he asked.
    Lisa bit hard on her lower lip, so