cherish you, and everything. I just need one more chance to prove that to you. I can be there for you, and I can handle things on my own. Jake, I can do this. I can be what you need me to be. You will be the first person I run to, even if I'm scared of what you'll think. You're always there for me and always helping me. You make me feel safe, and you love me like no one else has before. I want to do those things for you. Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry. I want you to be the one and only person I ever run to. I love you. Please, Jake.”
He doesn't say a word. His eyes search mine, and I hope that he finds what he's looking for. Jake wraps me in a hug so tightly that I almost lose my breath.
“It's time that I devote my heart and soul into making you as happy as you make me. Behind every smile, I want to be the reason. With every chuckle, I want there to be something I've done to cause it. There is a lot that I want out of life, but none as great as my need to see you thrive with intoxicating joy,” I whisper into his neck.
“ There's a lot we still have to talk about, Sweetness.”
Jake releases me from his hold, and I melt at how he's called me Sweetness once more. I just want to kiss him, but I feel like I shouldn't yet. Jake leads me up to his room where we can talk. He's cleaning up a little while I have made myself comfortable on his bed.
"Love?"
"Yeah?"
"Come join me," I say once I believe he has finished. I watch as Jake saunters over and lays beside me. Immediately, I cuddle up against him. My eyes close as my ears listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
"I love you," I whisper as if spoken too loudly, I could break the mesmerizing spell his heart has on me.
“I love you too. Always.”
After a few minutes, Jake decides it's time to talk. “What are you going to do about your mother? Are you going to go to therapy?”
“I hate her, Jake. I don't want anything to do with her.”
All this talk about therapy makes me worry. If I don't want to go, then that means I'm going to have to tell Jake everything. Is that the right decision? Will Jake still love me if he knows every single detail?
Of course, he will. Jake loves me. Telling him will just give him more to love. Right? I don't know. That just sounds wrong. Once again, the light of day shines down on me and again I realize that communication is key. Talking to a therapist may be good for me, but will it be good for our relationship? Shouldn't I need to talk with Jake to better our relationship? Isn't that the only way?
“ I don't need to see a therapist. I just need to talk with you. Do whatever you feel you need to do to make me talk to you, but don't ever mention my mother to me again. I'm done with her. Messing up with you is apparently in my genes. You will have to get used to the fact that I'm going to worry. I'm going to be terrified sometimes. It's going to be our job to make sure I talk to you about it, though. Promise me that you won't ever give up on me.”
“ As long as you don't, I won't give up, Sweetness.”
“ I feel as if I can't apologize enough. I can't believe how selfish I was being. How selfish I've been our entire relationship. You always save me, Jake. I want to be able to save myself and you every now and then. I've had it so good with you and so easily, I let it slip away. I don't want to ever let go again.”
“ You've been forgiven, Sweetness. We just have to rebuild our relationship a little. I have to be able to trust that you aren't going to run away anymore.”
“ That's completely understandable.”
Jake's phone rings and I'm slightly surprised that he walks out of the room to answer it, giving me the signal that he'll be a minute. Jake's gone so long that I close my eyes in hopes of falling asleep. I'm in a light slumber when someone jumps on the bed. That someone is Jake.
“Sweetness, wake up!”
“ I'm awake!” I grumble.
“ Sweets, guess what that phone call was about?”
“ Sweets? What the
He doesn't say a word. His eyes search mine, and I hope that he finds what he's looking for. Jake wraps me in a hug so tightly that I almost lose my breath.
“It's time that I devote my heart and soul into making you as happy as you make me. Behind every smile, I want to be the reason. With every chuckle, I want there to be something I've done to cause it. There is a lot that I want out of life, but none as great as my need to see you thrive with intoxicating joy,” I whisper into his neck.
“ There's a lot we still have to talk about, Sweetness.”
Jake releases me from his hold, and I melt at how he's called me Sweetness once more. I just want to kiss him, but I feel like I shouldn't yet. Jake leads me up to his room where we can talk. He's cleaning up a little while I have made myself comfortable on his bed.
"Love?"
"Yeah?"
"Come join me," I say once I believe he has finished. I watch as Jake saunters over and lays beside me. Immediately, I cuddle up against him. My eyes close as my ears listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
"I love you," I whisper as if spoken too loudly, I could break the mesmerizing spell his heart has on me.
“I love you too. Always.”
After a few minutes, Jake decides it's time to talk. “What are you going to do about your mother? Are you going to go to therapy?”
“I hate her, Jake. I don't want anything to do with her.”
All this talk about therapy makes me worry. If I don't want to go, then that means I'm going to have to tell Jake everything. Is that the right decision? Will Jake still love me if he knows every single detail?
Of course, he will. Jake loves me. Telling him will just give him more to love. Right? I don't know. That just sounds wrong. Once again, the light of day shines down on me and again I realize that communication is key. Talking to a therapist may be good for me, but will it be good for our relationship? Shouldn't I need to talk with Jake to better our relationship? Isn't that the only way?
“ I don't need to see a therapist. I just need to talk with you. Do whatever you feel you need to do to make me talk to you, but don't ever mention my mother to me again. I'm done with her. Messing up with you is apparently in my genes. You will have to get used to the fact that I'm going to worry. I'm going to be terrified sometimes. It's going to be our job to make sure I talk to you about it, though. Promise me that you won't ever give up on me.”
“ As long as you don't, I won't give up, Sweetness.”
“ I feel as if I can't apologize enough. I can't believe how selfish I was being. How selfish I've been our entire relationship. You always save me, Jake. I want to be able to save myself and you every now and then. I've had it so good with you and so easily, I let it slip away. I don't want to ever let go again.”
“ You've been forgiven, Sweetness. We just have to rebuild our relationship a little. I have to be able to trust that you aren't going to run away anymore.”
“ That's completely understandable.”
Jake's phone rings and I'm slightly surprised that he walks out of the room to answer it, giving me the signal that he'll be a minute. Jake's gone so long that I close my eyes in hopes of falling asleep. I'm in a light slumber when someone jumps on the bed. That someone is Jake.
“Sweetness, wake up!”
“ I'm awake!” I grumble.
“ Sweets, guess what that phone call was about?”
“ Sweets? What the
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