way we always do; her trying to judge me like she’s the Lord himself. Quit blaming me for what your husband did to you . Maybe if you would’ve given him a reason to keep his ass at home, you wouldn’t have had those problems.”
I watched as in one swift motion, she pushed away from the table to stand up and lift a scolding finger in the direction of the door while she yelled, “Leave! Get out! Now!”
I stood up just as swiftly as she had to yell back, “Gladly!”
I snatched up my purse and jacket and stormed out of the house regretting ever being talked into coming in the first place. Once I made it to my car, I could only sit and stare down at my not-yet bulging belly. Even if I couldn’t see her quite yet, I knew she was there and had probably heard the whole thing.
“I promise to never treat you that way, nugget.”
)~o~(
“Baby girl, you know that was wrong of you to say right?”
Calling my Dad to vent about the situation a whole day later felt like the right thing to do. I just knew he would feel me, maybe call my mom out of her name, something to make me feel justified.
Unfortunately, instead of giving me the affirmation I expected, he was actually on her side.
“What was so wrong about it, Dad? It was the truth. She didn’t do what it took to keep you home at night so you ventured elsewhere.” The concept was clear as day to me.
“Umm...not exactly, Princess. Your mom was... is a wonderful woman. I just wasn’t interested in that kind of commitment at the time. And with you and Bailey, I guess I felt forced into the whole idea of marriage and a happy family when I was nowhere near mature enough to handle it. It wasn’t right for me to step out on your mom back then just like it wasn’t right for you to throw that in her face.”
“But Dad…”
“No buts, Jasmine. You need to apologize.”
“Oh hell no. There’s no way I’m apologizing to her. You must’ve forgotten all the things she said about me.” I would’ve been lying if I said it didn’t hurt to hear those things from my own damn mama. She was the one that was supposed to be there for me no matter what, my shoulder to cry on. Instead she was the one kicking me to the ground.
“She was only speaking out of spite for what you reminded her of, sweetheart. But believe it or not, your mom loves you almost as much as me.”
“Well to make things crystal clear for you, I don’t believe that. If she loved me, she would let me choose my own life instead of judging me for every step I take.”
He sighed into the phone, clearly peeved that he wasn’t getting his point across. “She’s not perfect, Jasmine. I know she wants ya’ll to believe that bullshit, but we all have our flaws. I hurt that woman quite a bit; so much so that I’m surprised she still answers the phone when I call.”
The DJ in my head scratched the record, stopping the track of my thoughts.
“Wait a minute; ya’ll still talk to each other?” I just knew my mom had his number blocked, locks on the house changed; hell, maybe even a restraining order.
“Almost every day. We may not be together now but there was definitely a reason for us being together back then. I’m just lucky she still allows me to be her friend.” Though I couldn’t imagine my mom being a good friend to anyone by this point, it was still interesting to hear my dad speak so highly of her.
“Okay, this is getting... weird . I guess I just assumed you guys lost contact after the split.”
“Not exactly. I mean, starting off we did. But slowly she started letting me back in her life.”
“So you already knew about our blow-up before I called?”
“I knew her side. But I also knew your side would sound very different so I let you tell it.” I was confident that my explanation of what happened would’ve been a little skewed if I knew he already had some background information in the form of her opinion. But I was still curious to see who he agreed with.
“Then tell
I watched as in one swift motion, she pushed away from the table to stand up and lift a scolding finger in the direction of the door while she yelled, “Leave! Get out! Now!”
I stood up just as swiftly as she had to yell back, “Gladly!”
I snatched up my purse and jacket and stormed out of the house regretting ever being talked into coming in the first place. Once I made it to my car, I could only sit and stare down at my not-yet bulging belly. Even if I couldn’t see her quite yet, I knew she was there and had probably heard the whole thing.
“I promise to never treat you that way, nugget.”
)~o~(
“Baby girl, you know that was wrong of you to say right?”
Calling my Dad to vent about the situation a whole day later felt like the right thing to do. I just knew he would feel me, maybe call my mom out of her name, something to make me feel justified.
Unfortunately, instead of giving me the affirmation I expected, he was actually on her side.
“What was so wrong about it, Dad? It was the truth. She didn’t do what it took to keep you home at night so you ventured elsewhere.” The concept was clear as day to me.
“Umm...not exactly, Princess. Your mom was... is a wonderful woman. I just wasn’t interested in that kind of commitment at the time. And with you and Bailey, I guess I felt forced into the whole idea of marriage and a happy family when I was nowhere near mature enough to handle it. It wasn’t right for me to step out on your mom back then just like it wasn’t right for you to throw that in her face.”
“But Dad…”
“No buts, Jasmine. You need to apologize.”
“Oh hell no. There’s no way I’m apologizing to her. You must’ve forgotten all the things she said about me.” I would’ve been lying if I said it didn’t hurt to hear those things from my own damn mama. She was the one that was supposed to be there for me no matter what, my shoulder to cry on. Instead she was the one kicking me to the ground.
“She was only speaking out of spite for what you reminded her of, sweetheart. But believe it or not, your mom loves you almost as much as me.”
“Well to make things crystal clear for you, I don’t believe that. If she loved me, she would let me choose my own life instead of judging me for every step I take.”
He sighed into the phone, clearly peeved that he wasn’t getting his point across. “She’s not perfect, Jasmine. I know she wants ya’ll to believe that bullshit, but we all have our flaws. I hurt that woman quite a bit; so much so that I’m surprised she still answers the phone when I call.”
The DJ in my head scratched the record, stopping the track of my thoughts.
“Wait a minute; ya’ll still talk to each other?” I just knew my mom had his number blocked, locks on the house changed; hell, maybe even a restraining order.
“Almost every day. We may not be together now but there was definitely a reason for us being together back then. I’m just lucky she still allows me to be her friend.” Though I couldn’t imagine my mom being a good friend to anyone by this point, it was still interesting to hear my dad speak so highly of her.
“Okay, this is getting... weird . I guess I just assumed you guys lost contact after the split.”
“Not exactly. I mean, starting off we did. But slowly she started letting me back in her life.”
“So you already knew about our blow-up before I called?”
“I knew her side. But I also knew your side would sound very different so I let you tell it.” I was confident that my explanation of what happened would’ve been a little skewed if I knew he already had some background information in the form of her opinion. But I was still curious to see who he agreed with.
“Then tell
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