the godfather of your child, he’s helping Evan out with the nursery.”
“The what?”
“The nursery, dear? Emma, you don’t look so well, dear. You look as if you’re about to faint.”
“Oh, um…No. I’m good. I’m good, thanks!” I’m so dead! This has gone way too far now. Evan is spending real money building a real nursery for a real baby that doesn’t exist….yet!
Emma slowly walked up the winding stairway not sure of what she would say to Evan now. By the time she got to the top, she saw eco-friendly cartons in the hallway leading up to the spare room.
“Hey, baby,” Evan beamed as he walked up to Emma and gave her a lovable hug and kiss on the forehead and lips. “You okay? I’ve missed you and the baby today.”
“But we’ve only been apart for a few hours,” Emma gave a nervous chuckle.
“Oh, he’s just in love with being a daddy and a husband, of course,” Dale chimed in. “You’re looking as lovely as ever, Emma.”
“Thank you, Dale.”
“So what’s all these boxes for, hon? June said you were building a nursery. It’s so…soon.”
“Oh, nothing’s too soon for us, hon! I just wanna make sure that I’m doing my part.”
“Yeah, you have him going crazy calling up all over town to get the best for his unborn child,” Dale added looking on.
“Eco friendly, hon. Our baby is going to have the best of the best and starting off with what’s best for the environment, too!”
“Oh, sounds…fantastic,” Emma chuckled sheepishly. “But aren’t you spending an awful lot here?”
“You kidding? Nothing’s too good for my child. Our child,” he corrected.
“Oh. My. God. Is that what I think it is?” Emma walked over with her jaw wide open towards an acrylic clear crib in the corner of the large room as the sun peeked through the tall ceiling to floor windows.
“Yep. It sure is. If it’s good enough for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby girl, why can’t we have one?”
“Oh. My. God. A Vetro Crib!!! Honey, that’s the new 'in' thing now. The crib must have cost like…”
“Three thousand, five hundred,” Dale added.
“No shit!” Emma cried out. She could not believe this. She really needed to get knocked up fast. Like yesterday.
“Uh, honey,” Evan gave Dale a funny look then turned to his wife. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“Yes, hon?”
“I really would prefer if we could not have any form of swearing or offensive language when you’re carrying our child. I mean, I want our baby to have the best start in life and studies have shown that babies can hear from inside the womb.”
“But, honey, our baby doesn’t even have ears yet! Not until the second trimester!”
“Actually as early as eight weeks the ears begin to form, hon.”
“Honey?”
“Listen, let’s not argue in front of…while you’re in your condition. Agreed?”
Emma sighed. “Agreed.”
11.
“The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix,” Emma later read from the pages of Instant Conception to her friend Gina over the phone . Evan and Dale had finally left the home to gather more stuff for the baby’s room. He was so excited, Dale told her while Evan went to get some stuff from the den, that he wanted to make sure that he was doing what he could to contribute to his child coming into the world. Though Emma joked that he’d already done enough.
If only that were true.
“Okay, so your hips should be positioned so that the sperm can be kept inside? How?”
“Well, according to this book there are five true and tested ways in the first chapter alone. Common positions that most people do anyway.”
“Like?”
“Like the missionary position.”
“The missionary position?”
“Yeah. You know the man on top. That’s said to be the best position according to this book because it allows for the deepest
“The what?”
“The nursery, dear? Emma, you don’t look so well, dear. You look as if you’re about to faint.”
“Oh, um…No. I’m good. I’m good, thanks!” I’m so dead! This has gone way too far now. Evan is spending real money building a real nursery for a real baby that doesn’t exist….yet!
Emma slowly walked up the winding stairway not sure of what she would say to Evan now. By the time she got to the top, she saw eco-friendly cartons in the hallway leading up to the spare room.
“Hey, baby,” Evan beamed as he walked up to Emma and gave her a lovable hug and kiss on the forehead and lips. “You okay? I’ve missed you and the baby today.”
“But we’ve only been apart for a few hours,” Emma gave a nervous chuckle.
“Oh, he’s just in love with being a daddy and a husband, of course,” Dale chimed in. “You’re looking as lovely as ever, Emma.”
“Thank you, Dale.”
“So what’s all these boxes for, hon? June said you were building a nursery. It’s so…soon.”
“Oh, nothing’s too soon for us, hon! I just wanna make sure that I’m doing my part.”
“Yeah, you have him going crazy calling up all over town to get the best for his unborn child,” Dale added looking on.
“Eco friendly, hon. Our baby is going to have the best of the best and starting off with what’s best for the environment, too!”
“Oh, sounds…fantastic,” Emma chuckled sheepishly. “But aren’t you spending an awful lot here?”
“You kidding? Nothing’s too good for my child. Our child,” he corrected.
“Oh. My. God. Is that what I think it is?” Emma walked over with her jaw wide open towards an acrylic clear crib in the corner of the large room as the sun peeked through the tall ceiling to floor windows.
“Yep. It sure is. If it’s good enough for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby girl, why can’t we have one?”
“Oh. My. God. A Vetro Crib!!! Honey, that’s the new 'in' thing now. The crib must have cost like…”
“Three thousand, five hundred,” Dale added.
“No shit!” Emma cried out. She could not believe this. She really needed to get knocked up fast. Like yesterday.
“Uh, honey,” Evan gave Dale a funny look then turned to his wife. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“Yes, hon?”
“I really would prefer if we could not have any form of swearing or offensive language when you’re carrying our child. I mean, I want our baby to have the best start in life and studies have shown that babies can hear from inside the womb.”
“But, honey, our baby doesn’t even have ears yet! Not until the second trimester!”
“Actually as early as eight weeks the ears begin to form, hon.”
“Honey?”
“Listen, let’s not argue in front of…while you’re in your condition. Agreed?”
Emma sighed. “Agreed.”
11.
“The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix,” Emma later read from the pages of Instant Conception to her friend Gina over the phone . Evan and Dale had finally left the home to gather more stuff for the baby’s room. He was so excited, Dale told her while Evan went to get some stuff from the den, that he wanted to make sure that he was doing what he could to contribute to his child coming into the world. Though Emma joked that he’d already done enough.
If only that were true.
“Okay, so your hips should be positioned so that the sperm can be kept inside? How?”
“Well, according to this book there are five true and tested ways in the first chapter alone. Common positions that most people do anyway.”
“Like?”
“Like the missionary position.”
“The missionary position?”
“Yeah. You know the man on top. That’s said to be the best position according to this book because it allows for the deepest
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