Anita Blake 15 - The Harlequin by Laurell K. Hamilton Page B

well with ultimatums."
    "It's not an ultimatum, Anita, it's just true. I love you, and I'm happier with you than I've ever been with anyone for this long. Honestly, I didn't think we'd still be together this long. Seven months is the longest relationship I've ever had. When I thought it would be like all the rest—a few months, then over—it wasn't a big deal. I could behave myself for a few months, until you got tired of me."
    "I'm not tired of you."
    "I know that. In fact, I think you're going to keep me. I didn't expect that."
    "Keep you? You make yourself sound like a lost puppy that I picked up on the street. You don't 'keep' people, Nathaniel."
    "Fine, pick a different word, but we're living together and it's working, and it might last years. I can't go years without having this need met, Anita."
    "It
might
last years; you still talk about us like we won't last."
    "Years is lasting," he said, "and everyone gets tired of me, eventually."
    I didn't know what to say to that. "I'm not tired of you. Frustrated, puzzled as hell, but not tired."
    He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I know that, and if I didn't feel secure enough, I wouldn't make any demands. I'd just go on being unhappy about this, but if you love me, then I can ask for what I want."
    If you love me
, he'd said. Jesus. "It must be true love, Nathaniel, because I'm not booting your ass to the curb for this."
    "For what, asking for my sexual needs to be met?"
    "Stop, just stop." I rested my forehead against the steering wheel and tried to think. "Can we please drop this for now, while I think about it?"
    "Sure." His voice sounded hurt.
    But his voice could sound hurt; I was out of my depth. "How long have you been saving this conversation up?" I asked, still resting against the wheel.
    "I kept waiting for there to be a quiet time, when you weren't ass-deep in alligators, but…"
    "But I'm always ass-deep in alligators."
    "Yeah," he said.
    I rose and nodded. That was fair. "I'll think about what you said, and that's all I've got tonight, okay?"
    "That's wonderful. I mean it. I was afraid…"
    I frowned at him. "You really thought I'd dump you because of this?"
    He shrugged and wouldn't look at me. "You don't like demands, Anita, not from any of the men in your life."
    I unbuckled my seat belt and slid over so I could turn him to look at me. "I can't promise that this won't eventually break me, but I can't imagine not waking up beside you most mornings. I can't imagine not having you puttering in our kitchen. Hell, it's more your kitchen than mine. I don't cook."
    He kissed me and drew back with that smile that made his face shine with happiness. I loved that smile. "Our kitchen. I've never had an 'our' anything before."
    I hugged him, partially because I wanted to, and partially to hide the expression on my face. On one hand, I loved him to pieces; on the other hand, I wished he had come with an instruction book. More than almost any other man in my life, he confused me. Richard hurt me more, but most of the time I understood why. I didn't like it, but I understood his motivation. Nathaniel was so far outside my comfort zone sometimes that I had no clue. That I understood vampires that had been alive over five hundred years better than I understood the man in my arms said something. I wasn't sure what it said, but something.
    "Let's go inside before Jean-Claude wonders what happened to us."
    He nodded, still looking happy. He got out on his side with the box in hand. I got out, hit the button to make the Jeep beep, and eased between the cars onto the sidewalk. He'd put his hat back on. Nathaniel in disguise. I put my left arm through his, and we walked over the melting snow toward the club. He was still all glowing from the "our" comment I'd made. Me, I wasn't glowing. I was worried. How far would I really go to keep him? Could I send him to a stranger for slap and tickle? Could I share him if I couldn't meet his needs? I didn't know. I really didn't