Anita Blake 15 - The Harlequin by Laurell K. Hamilton
Authors: Laurell K. Hamilton
Tags: Fantasy
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took my
ardeur
and shared it around among you guys."
"Yes, but he thinks that one of the reasons he was able to do that is that you fed off the crowd, and me. I loved that you marked me in front of the crowd. You know how much I loved it."
"Are you saying that if I hadn't gone up on stage and accidentally fed from the crowd, the
ardeur
would have gotten out of control in the middle of that serial killer case?"
"Maybe."
I thought about that for a second as I drove. I thought about the
ardeur
going out of control in a van full of cops, Mobile Reserve cops, our answer to SWAT. I thought about the
ardeur
getting out of control while I was in a nest of vampires that had killed over ten people.
"If that's true, then why didn't Jean-Claude try to get me down to the club again?"
"He's offered."
"I've refused."
"Yeah," Nathaniel said.
"Why tell me now?"
"Because I'm mad at you," he said. He lowered his head on top of the box in his lap. "Because I'm mad that our date is ruined. I'm mad that some metaphysical crap is going to ruin our almost-anniversary."
"I didn't plan this," I said.
"No, but your life is always like this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a normal date with you?"
"If you don't like it, you don't have to stay in it." The moment I said it, I wished I hadn't, but I didn't take it back.
"Do you mean that?" he asked, in a low, careful voice.
"No," I said, "no, I don't mean it. I'm just not used to you picking at me. That's usually Richard's job."
"Don't compare me with him. I don't deserve that."
"No, you don't." Richard Zeeman had once been my fiancé, but it hadn't lasted. I'd broken up with him when I saw him eat someone. He was the head of the local werewolf pack. He'd broken up with me when he couldn't handle that I was more comfortable with the monsters than he was. At the moment, we were lovers, and he was finally letting me feed the
ardeur
off him. I was his girlfriend in the preternatural community, lupa to his Ulfric, and he wasn't shopping to replace me in that part of his life. He was shopping for a completely human woman to replace me in the part of his life where he was a mild-mannered junior high science teacher. He wanted kids and a life that didn't include full moons and killer zombies. I didn't blame him completely. If I'd had an option for a normal life, I might have taken it. Of course, Richard really didn't have the option either. There was no cure for lycanthropy. But he was going to divide his life into pieces and try to keep all the pieces from finding out about the other parts. Sounded hard, hell, sounded like a recipe for disaster. But it wasn't my life, and so far he was just dating people. If he got serious about someone else, then we'd see how I felt about being the other woman.
"You missed the turn, Anita," Nathaniel said.
I cursed and braked too hard in the thin snow. I got the Jeep under control, then let us coast past our exit. I'd turn around. You could always turn around. "Sorry," I said.
"Thinking about Richard?" He tried for neutral and failed.
"Yeah."
"My fault, I guess; I brought him up."
"What's with the tone?" I asked. I turned into a section of town that was in the middle of being gentrified but hadn't quite made it yet. But we were headed back toward the riverfront.
"If Richard were a stripper, would you be embarrassed by him, too?"
"Drop this, Nathaniel, I mean it."
"Or what?" There was that first prickling run of energy over my skin. He was angry enough that it was making his beast peek out.
"You're picking on me tonight, Nathaniel. I don't need that."
"I believe that you love me, Anita, but you love me by hiding from what I am. I need you to accept who I am."
"I do."
"You tell Arnet that I'm not your victim, but you won't tie me up during sex. You won't abuse me."
"Don't start this again," I said.
"Anita, the bondage is part of who I am. It makes me feel safe and good."
This was one of the reasons I'd fought so long and hard to stay
ardeur
and shared it around among you guys."
"Yes, but he thinks that one of the reasons he was able to do that is that you fed off the crowd, and me. I loved that you marked me in front of the crowd. You know how much I loved it."
"Are you saying that if I hadn't gone up on stage and accidentally fed from the crowd, the
ardeur
would have gotten out of control in the middle of that serial killer case?"
"Maybe."
I thought about that for a second as I drove. I thought about the
ardeur
going out of control in a van full of cops, Mobile Reserve cops, our answer to SWAT. I thought about the
ardeur
getting out of control while I was in a nest of vampires that had killed over ten people.
"If that's true, then why didn't Jean-Claude try to get me down to the club again?"
"He's offered."
"I've refused."
"Yeah," Nathaniel said.
"Why tell me now?"
"Because I'm mad at you," he said. He lowered his head on top of the box in his lap. "Because I'm mad that our date is ruined. I'm mad that some metaphysical crap is going to ruin our almost-anniversary."
"I didn't plan this," I said.
"No, but your life is always like this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a normal date with you?"
"If you don't like it, you don't have to stay in it." The moment I said it, I wished I hadn't, but I didn't take it back.
"Do you mean that?" he asked, in a low, careful voice.
"No," I said, "no, I don't mean it. I'm just not used to you picking at me. That's usually Richard's job."
"Don't compare me with him. I don't deserve that."
"No, you don't." Richard Zeeman had once been my fiancé, but it hadn't lasted. I'd broken up with him when I saw him eat someone. He was the head of the local werewolf pack. He'd broken up with me when he couldn't handle that I was more comfortable with the monsters than he was. At the moment, we were lovers, and he was finally letting me feed the
ardeur
off him. I was his girlfriend in the preternatural community, lupa to his Ulfric, and he wasn't shopping to replace me in that part of his life. He was shopping for a completely human woman to replace me in the part of his life where he was a mild-mannered junior high science teacher. He wanted kids and a life that didn't include full moons and killer zombies. I didn't blame him completely. If I'd had an option for a normal life, I might have taken it. Of course, Richard really didn't have the option either. There was no cure for lycanthropy. But he was going to divide his life into pieces and try to keep all the pieces from finding out about the other parts. Sounded hard, hell, sounded like a recipe for disaster. But it wasn't my life, and so far he was just dating people. If he got serious about someone else, then we'd see how I felt about being the other woman.
"You missed the turn, Anita," Nathaniel said.
I cursed and braked too hard in the thin snow. I got the Jeep under control, then let us coast past our exit. I'd turn around. You could always turn around. "Sorry," I said.
"Thinking about Richard?" He tried for neutral and failed.
"Yeah."
"My fault, I guess; I brought him up."
"What's with the tone?" I asked. I turned into a section of town that was in the middle of being gentrified but hadn't quite made it yet. But we were headed back toward the riverfront.
"If Richard were a stripper, would you be embarrassed by him, too?"
"Drop this, Nathaniel, I mean it."
"Or what?" There was that first prickling run of energy over my skin. He was angry enough that it was making his beast peek out.
"You're picking on me tonight, Nathaniel. I don't need that."
"I believe that you love me, Anita, but you love me by hiding from what I am. I need you to accept who I am."
"I do."
"You tell Arnet that I'm not your victim, but you won't tie me up during sex. You won't abuse me."
"Don't start this again," I said.
"Anita, the bondage is part of who I am. It makes me feel safe and good."
This was one of the reasons I'd fought so long and hard to stay
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