the driver and the car. I’ll phone Fredo and tell him to expect you.’
She looked up at me, and there was no anger now. She was studying my face, trying to read me. That was another thing I’d noticed particularly about the Harlequin’s werebears; they didn’t seem to be good with facial expressions, as if they had trouble interpreting human faces. I still had trouble reading the faces of those nearest and dearest to me when they were in animal form, so I hadn’t asked about it, but maybe I should. Later I would, but not today.
‘I have swallowed my power back. I have done as you asked. Why are you still sending me back?’ Her voice was so reasonable, as if I were the one behaving badly.
‘Because I can’t afford to have you doing what you just did around Micah’s family. His father is a law enforcement officer, which means there will be other cops around the hospital, and if you go all otherworldly around them they might just shoot you first and ask forgiveness later. Remember, this is a western state; they can kill you in human form, and if your blood test comes back showing lycanthropy, and it will, it’s a legal kill. And if you want to come along and get yourself killed, that’s fine, though it’d be a bitch to have your master die with you because you’re being a undisciplined baby, but you’re likely to get people I care about hurt, and that I won’t allow.’
Her wide eyes went even wider, like blue pools in her face, and I realized tears were standing in them. If she blinked the tears would fall, and she was fighting to keep that from happening. Fuck.
‘Please,’ she said, ‘please, if you send me back he will know I have failed. You do not understand what he will do to me if I fail him.’
‘He doesn’t get to do anything to you without Jean-Claude’s permission, so all that will happen is you get restricted guard duty, local only and out of media sight for a while, that’s it.’
Her breath came out in a long sigh, and she swallowed convulsively. The tears shone in her eyes but still did not fall. ‘You think you control the old Harlequin, but you do not. They hold with the old ways and punish us in private like whipped dogs.’
‘I wouldn’t let any of our people beat their dogs either. Are you saying that Gunnar beats you in private?’
She covered her face with one hand and stepped away from Nicky and the stairs. I guess that was answer enough.
‘Shit,’ I said, softly, but real feeling.
Micah stepped up beside me, and I knew Nathaniel was just behind him; without turning to see, I could feel them both at my back. ‘I’ve run into old masters across the country who treat their wereanimal to call like that.’
‘We’re leading by example, damn it; that means that no one here in St Louis gets to do shit like this.’
‘If you send her back, then Jean-Claude has to take care of it,’ Micah said.
‘We can’t take her with us,’ Nathaniel said.
We both turned around and looked at him. He was the most submissive of us, so gentle most of the time, and then he’d get a look in his eyes, and you could see the steel inside him. He didn’t want to be in charge; that didn’t mean he wasn’t strong.
‘You sound sure,’ I said.
‘I am.’ His face relaxed a little, softening his expression, but he shook his head. ‘She feels safer than she’s been in years. Sometimes when that happens after a lot of abuse you just fall apart, because you can. You’ve finally got people to catch you when you fall, but if she’s about to uncover centuries of abuse, she can’t do it on this trip.’
I looked into his serious, handsome face and realized that he understood her pain better than most, and he was still not going to let her pain manipulate him. It was a type of strength that I was only now learning. I was a dominant personality; my instinct was to take care of people, but Nathaniel was right. Hard, but right.
‘I was Chimera’s special whipping boy for years; I
She looked up at me, and there was no anger now. She was studying my face, trying to read me. That was another thing I’d noticed particularly about the Harlequin’s werebears; they didn’t seem to be good with facial expressions, as if they had trouble interpreting human faces. I still had trouble reading the faces of those nearest and dearest to me when they were in animal form, so I hadn’t asked about it, but maybe I should. Later I would, but not today.
‘I have swallowed my power back. I have done as you asked. Why are you still sending me back?’ Her voice was so reasonable, as if I were the one behaving badly.
‘Because I can’t afford to have you doing what you just did around Micah’s family. His father is a law enforcement officer, which means there will be other cops around the hospital, and if you go all otherworldly around them they might just shoot you first and ask forgiveness later. Remember, this is a western state; they can kill you in human form, and if your blood test comes back showing lycanthropy, and it will, it’s a legal kill. And if you want to come along and get yourself killed, that’s fine, though it’d be a bitch to have your master die with you because you’re being a undisciplined baby, but you’re likely to get people I care about hurt, and that I won’t allow.’
Her wide eyes went even wider, like blue pools in her face, and I realized tears were standing in them. If she blinked the tears would fall, and she was fighting to keep that from happening. Fuck.
‘Please,’ she said, ‘please, if you send me back he will know I have failed. You do not understand what he will do to me if I fail him.’
‘He doesn’t get to do anything to you without Jean-Claude’s permission, so all that will happen is you get restricted guard duty, local only and out of media sight for a while, that’s it.’
Her breath came out in a long sigh, and she swallowed convulsively. The tears shone in her eyes but still did not fall. ‘You think you control the old Harlequin, but you do not. They hold with the old ways and punish us in private like whipped dogs.’
‘I wouldn’t let any of our people beat their dogs either. Are you saying that Gunnar beats you in private?’
She covered her face with one hand and stepped away from Nicky and the stairs. I guess that was answer enough.
‘Shit,’ I said, softly, but real feeling.
Micah stepped up beside me, and I knew Nathaniel was just behind him; without turning to see, I could feel them both at my back. ‘I’ve run into old masters across the country who treat their wereanimal to call like that.’
‘We’re leading by example, damn it; that means that no one here in St Louis gets to do shit like this.’
‘If you send her back, then Jean-Claude has to take care of it,’ Micah said.
‘We can’t take her with us,’ Nathaniel said.
We both turned around and looked at him. He was the most submissive of us, so gentle most of the time, and then he’d get a look in his eyes, and you could see the steel inside him. He didn’t want to be in charge; that didn’t mean he wasn’t strong.
‘You sound sure,’ I said.
‘I am.’ His face relaxed a little, softening his expression, but he shook his head. ‘She feels safer than she’s been in years. Sometimes when that happens after a lot of abuse you just fall apart, because you can. You’ve finally got people to catch you when you fall, but if she’s about to uncover centuries of abuse, she can’t do it on this trip.’
I looked into his serious, handsome face and realized that he understood her pain better than most, and he was still not going to let her pain manipulate him. It was a type of strength that I was only now learning. I was a dominant personality; my instinct was to take care of people, but Nathaniel was right. Hard, but right.
‘I was Chimera’s special whipping boy for years; I
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