Attack of the Mutant Underwear by Tom Birdseye

laughed.
    Monday, December 11
    I was in such a hurry to catch a ride to school with Mom this morning that I almost ran out of the house in my underwear ! After all I’ve been through, you’d think I’d be more New Me careful.
    Thankfully, I caught the Old Me foul-up before I got out the door. Still, it was scary that I could be that much of a space cadet.
    Earth to Cody! Earth to Cody! PAY ATTENTION!
    Tuesday, December 12
    During math I looked up and Amy was smiling at me. Just smiling that big pretty smile she has. I smiled back. And for a second we just sat there smiling at each other.
    Emerson giggled. I glared at him and whispered, “Lay off it! We’re just friends.”
    New survey topic from ace-brilliant-type-Question-Man: friends, as in, How do you know if a person is more than a friend?
    Just wondering.
    Wednesday, December 13
    Wendell is the custodian at Garfield Elementary School. He’s a really nice guy, and does lots of things for kids, like when he helped me fix a flat tire on my bike. He always wears jeans and a plaid shirt and a baseball cap. Ms. B suggested we have a Dress Like Wendell Day. We all said, “Yeah!” Wendell doesn’t know, though. It’s a surprise!
    Thursday, December 14
    Somehow Wendell found out about Dress Like Wendell Day. We showed up dressed like him. He showed up dressed in a tuxedo. Ms. B laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall over. Wendell said, “Thank you very much,” and gave her a Tootsie Roll. I started laughing really hard, too, but he just patted me on the head.
    Friday, December 15
    You’ve probably heard people say that there are times when you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, meaning that no matter what you do, somebody is going to see it as wrong. That’s what happened to me today at recess.
    I was playing basketball. Tyler and Zach and I were on the same team. We were doing great, blowing out those boys from Mrs. Larsen’s room. I scored. We ran back down the court, and there were Amy and Libby.
    At first I thought they had come to watch super-hoop-star Cody, and would break into cheers. But instead of asking me how it is that I got to be so great, Libby said, “We want to play.”
    Zach frowned and said, “No way.”
    Amy frowned right back. “Why not?”
    â€œBecause you’re girls,” Zach said, “and girls can’t shoot.”
    I groaned. If I’ve learned anything about Amy, it’s that you never tell her she can’t do something because she’s a girl. Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll shoot against you any day, Zach!”
    Zach laughed. “In your dreams.” He waved her off. “We got a good game going. Go play on the bars or something.”
    Amy looked at me like I was supposed to do something. Do what? Tell Zach he’s being a macho jerk? Well, even if he was, I couldn’t do that. And anyway, we already had chosen sides. And we did have a good game going. And Amy and Libby could go do something else. There I stood, between a rock (that would be Amy) and a hard place (Zach), not knowing what to do or say.
    Tyler, however, didn’t bat an eye. “This isn’t the NBA,” he said. “They can play.” He motioned the girls onto the court. “C’mon. We’ll take Amy. Libby, you go to the other side.”
    I thought Zach was going to argue, for sure. But he just rolled his eyes and said, “Okay,” and the next thing I knew we’d gone coed.
    Well, sort of. Amy and Libby did start running up and down the court guarding people on defense. And on offense they moved around trying to get open and waved their arms so somebody would pass to them, too. Only problem was, nobody did. I tried to get the ball to Amy once, but Zach cut it off and drove for the basket.
    Amy got redder and redder in the face, until finally she threw up her hands and said, “BOYS!” then