Barfing in the Backseat by Henry Winkler, Lin Oliver Page A

said.
    Then he burst out laughing again, so hard this time that he sounded like he had the hiccups. I’m ashamed to say (actually I’m not), I joined in.
    “Dad, tell them to stop,” Emily whined.
    “That’s enough, boys,” my dad said. “Raise the window so Emily can calm down.”
    By that time, we were in front of the neon sign that said Office. A tall blond man wearing a baseball cap with a yellow and black bee on it came out to meet us. I could see that he also had a bee embroidered on the front of his overalls.
    “Welcome, bee lovers,” he said. “And if you’re not now, you will be when you leave.”
    “We’re so happy to be here,” my mom called out. “Aren’t we, children?”
    The guy didn’t seem to notice that no one answered.
    “We hope you’re going to make yourself right at home here at Buzz Haven. I’m Jimmy Jim James, making sure you have a honey of a time.”
    He laughed. My mom, who has the best manners of all of us, laughed, too. She reached across the front seat over my dad and stuck her hand out to greet him.
    “We’re so happy to be here, Jimmy Jim,” she said. “I’m looking forward to our honey-tasting tour tomorrow. I try to promote honey usage not only in our home, but in my restaurant, too.”
    “Then you and me, we’re going to be like two bees in a honeycomb,” Jimmy Jim said.“I’ve put you in rooms 15 and 16. Go make yourselves comfortable. My wife likes to call our rooms bee-autiful. Come on down to the main house for dinner in about half an hour.”
    “Excuse me, Mr. James, do you happen to have any extra lettuce and maybe a cucumber before dinner?” Emily asked.
    “Sure, little cutie,” Jimmy Jim said. He must have gone momentarily blind, because of all the things Emily is, cute isn’t one of them. “I like to see a young lady who’s fond of her vegetables.”
    “Oh, it’s not for me, sir. It’s for my iguana.”
    Emily held up the crate with Katherine in it. Katherine shot her tongue out of the cage. She was going for Jimmy Jim, but luckily she hit the headrest and nearly stuck to it instead.
    “Whoa, I’m afraid we don’t allow pets here,” Jimmy Jim said.
    “Oh, Katherine’s not a pet,” Emily answered. “She’s my half sister.”
    “For a while there, we thought they were twins,” I chimed in. “But then Emily grew hair.”
    Frankie and I cracked up. My father didn’t.
    “That’s enough, Hank,” he said.
    “I promise you, Jimmy Jim, Katherine travels everywhere with us, and she causes absolutely no trouble,” my mom said, still in her charming voice.
    “Except when she leaves her droppings on your pillow,” I muttered. My dad swung around, even with his seat belt on, to shoot me a world-class “Keep Your Mouth Shut” look. From the corner of my eye, I saw Frankie trying to stuff his fist in his mouth to stifle a laugh, but I didn’t dare look at him, because I knew if I did, we’d both lose it.
    “Well, I guess if you keep her in the cage, I could make an exception,” Jimmy Jim said. “We worry about animals stirring up the hives. You can’t bee too careful with bees.”
    “Bee-lieve me, we’ll be careful,” my dad snorted, in a rare show of humor. I think you’ll agree he’s not what you’d call a big jokester.
    Our room was number 15. Dad, Mom, Emily, and the unwanted reptile were in number 16.
    If I tell you this room was weird, it would be an understatement. It was, as Jimmy Jim James would say, un-bee-lievable. Everything was beethemed. The bedspread had black and yellow stripes. The handles on the bathroom faucets were bee wings. The snacks in the TV cabinet were chocolate-covered honeycomb, orange-covered honeycomb, and honey-covered honeycomb.
    What happened to pretzels?
    Oh, there they are. Honey covered pretzels. Right next to the bottle of iced tea, flavored with, you guessed it…honey.
    After we moved our suitcases in, Frankie flopped down on the bed to relax before dinner.
    “There’ll be none of