a mad dash for the gift store where my mom was doing a little shopping, Frankie grabbed me by my Mets jacket.
“Hold it,” he said. “I just remembered. I have the itinerary your dad typed up in my back pocket.”
Leave it to Frankie to, first of all, know a fancy word like itinerary. (In case you don’t know it, it’s a list of the places you’re going on a trip. I didn’t know it either until he told me.)And second, to have his itinerary with him, where he could actually find it. My dad had made me a copy of it, too, but the last time I saw it was by the vending machines at a rest station on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Frankie read the guy the address of our next stop, which was the Buzz Haven Honey Farm and Snooze Inn.
“Mr. Shampoo,” I said, taking the phone from Frankie after he finished giving him the address. “This is so great that you’re doing this.”
“It had better be, young man,” he said, “because my snails are ruined. And by the way, the name is Monsieur Chapeau, as in hat.”
“Well, Mr. Hat, you’re all right with me.”
I hung up the phone and gave Frankie Townsend the biggest high five you’ve ever seen. This wasn’t the first time he had saved my butt, but it was certainly in the top five. There was no time to celebrate, though, because the tallest, strongest man you’ve ever seen, who was wearing a guard uniform, was suddenly standing over us. Let’s just say he was not smiling.
“How would you boys like it if someone saton your tonsil?” he asked.
“Now that you mention it, sir, I wouldn’t like that at all,” I said, jumping off the tonsil like it had caught on fire.
“Hey, guys, there you are!” Emily called out. For the first time in her life, she appeared at just the right time. “You can’t believe what’s in the next room. It’s a lab where you can add all kinds of flavors to 250 different candies. I made a pizza-flavored chocolate bar.”
“Hey, I’d love to talk more,” I said to the still unsmiling guard, “but we have candy to make. Science can’t wait.”
We waved a quick good-bye to him. I thought I’d give it one more shot.
“Thanks for the use of your tonsil,” I said. “Hope we didn’t give it a sore throat.”
That didn’t make him smile, either. Obviously, the guy had no sense of humor.
Frankie and I ran after Emily to go make candy. After our conversation with Mr. Hat, I felt my problem was solved, and even a pizza-flavored chocolate bar sounded good to me.
I T WAS ALMOST DARK by the time we pulled into the dirt driveway that led to Buzz Haven Honey Farm and Snooze Inn. We could hear a buzzing in the air as we drove up to the main house, which made the whole place seem really eerie. Like maybe swarms of alien bugs had escaped from a horror movie and were hovering in the fields on either side of the car.
Even though it was cold outside, I lowered the window to let the buzz fill the car. Emily freaked out.
“Are you nuts, Hank?” she said, leaning over Frankie and me to reach for the automatic window button. “Put the window up immediately.”
“Don’t sweat it,” I said. “The bees are happy in their hives. They won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”
“That may be true for one bee, Hank, but we don’t know how a colony of thousands of bees is going to react. What happens if they swarm us and I’m stung about a million times and I’m rushed to the hospital but they don’t have any anti-bee-sting vaccine? Who will take care of Katherine?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I told Emily. “We’ll turn her loose and her keen iguana instincts will lead her to her relatives in Central America as she sucks flies out of the air with her long, sticky tongue along the way.”
Frankie tried not to laugh, but he just couldn’t keep it in.
“This isn’t funny, Frankie,” Emily said. “How can you laugh at the thought of Katherine, alone and abandoned?”
“You’re right, Emily, it isn’t funny,” he
“Hold it,” he said. “I just remembered. I have the itinerary your dad typed up in my back pocket.”
Leave it to Frankie to, first of all, know a fancy word like itinerary. (In case you don’t know it, it’s a list of the places you’re going on a trip. I didn’t know it either until he told me.)And second, to have his itinerary with him, where he could actually find it. My dad had made me a copy of it, too, but the last time I saw it was by the vending machines at a rest station on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Frankie read the guy the address of our next stop, which was the Buzz Haven Honey Farm and Snooze Inn.
“Mr. Shampoo,” I said, taking the phone from Frankie after he finished giving him the address. “This is so great that you’re doing this.”
“It had better be, young man,” he said, “because my snails are ruined. And by the way, the name is Monsieur Chapeau, as in hat.”
“Well, Mr. Hat, you’re all right with me.”
I hung up the phone and gave Frankie Townsend the biggest high five you’ve ever seen. This wasn’t the first time he had saved my butt, but it was certainly in the top five. There was no time to celebrate, though, because the tallest, strongest man you’ve ever seen, who was wearing a guard uniform, was suddenly standing over us. Let’s just say he was not smiling.
“How would you boys like it if someone saton your tonsil?” he asked.
“Now that you mention it, sir, I wouldn’t like that at all,” I said, jumping off the tonsil like it had caught on fire.
“Hey, guys, there you are!” Emily called out. For the first time in her life, she appeared at just the right time. “You can’t believe what’s in the next room. It’s a lab where you can add all kinds of flavors to 250 different candies. I made a pizza-flavored chocolate bar.”
“Hey, I’d love to talk more,” I said to the still unsmiling guard, “but we have candy to make. Science can’t wait.”
We waved a quick good-bye to him. I thought I’d give it one more shot.
“Thanks for the use of your tonsil,” I said. “Hope we didn’t give it a sore throat.”
That didn’t make him smile, either. Obviously, the guy had no sense of humor.
Frankie and I ran after Emily to go make candy. After our conversation with Mr. Hat, I felt my problem was solved, and even a pizza-flavored chocolate bar sounded good to me.
I T WAS ALMOST DARK by the time we pulled into the dirt driveway that led to Buzz Haven Honey Farm and Snooze Inn. We could hear a buzzing in the air as we drove up to the main house, which made the whole place seem really eerie. Like maybe swarms of alien bugs had escaped from a horror movie and were hovering in the fields on either side of the car.
Even though it was cold outside, I lowered the window to let the buzz fill the car. Emily freaked out.
“Are you nuts, Hank?” she said, leaning over Frankie and me to reach for the automatic window button. “Put the window up immediately.”
“Don’t sweat it,” I said. “The bees are happy in their hives. They won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”
“That may be true for one bee, Hank, but we don’t know how a colony of thousands of bees is going to react. What happens if they swarm us and I’m stung about a million times and I’m rushed to the hospital but they don’t have any anti-bee-sting vaccine? Who will take care of Katherine?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I told Emily. “We’ll turn her loose and her keen iguana instincts will lead her to her relatives in Central America as she sucks flies out of the air with her long, sticky tongue along the way.”
Frankie tried not to laugh, but he just couldn’t keep it in.
“This isn’t funny, Frankie,” Emily said. “How can you laugh at the thought of Katherine, alone and abandoned?”
“You’re right, Emily, it isn’t funny,” he
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