way, Jimmy has given me a list of the new ones coming out for Christmas.”
Jimmy said, “I can’t wait for ‘Car Stealers,’ ‘Torture in Iraq’ and ‘Blowing Up Public Schools.’”
“They all sound interesting,” I said. “In my day we played Elvis Presley records. Now video games seem to be the indoor sport.”
Carla said, “Thank God. It got Jimmy through the sniper crisis. He couldn’t sleep while the snipers were out there.”
Jimmy said, “How about ‘Saving the Human Race—No Matter What the Cost’?”
“Suits me,” I said. “It makes you think.”
Come Fly With Me
IN 2003 THE COUNTRY celebrated the 100th anniversary of Orville and Wilbur Wright’s first flight. On December 17, 1903, Orville took off near Kitty Hawk, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and stayed in the air for 12 seconds. Then Wilbur, on the same day, flew the same plane 852 feet in 59 seconds.
What very few people know is that it didn’t work out as well as everyone expected. Two weeks later they started an airline, Wright Brothers Express, which flew between Dayton and Akron, Ohio. Two weeks after that, they filed for bankruptcy.
Orville said: “We didn’t expect business to be that bad. People just weren’t flying as much as we expected.”
Wilbur said: “We offered discount fares, frequent-flier miles and free coffee—and we still had to go into Chapter 11. The banks wouldn’t give us any more money.”
Orville said, “To stay afloat, we were told we had to downsize our operation.”
“The only way to do this,” Wilbur said, “was to fire either Orville or myself. It hasn’t been an easy time for either of us. I should have stayed because I was the more experienced pilot. I flew the plane 852 feet and Orville flew it only 120 feet.”
“But,” said Orville, “I was the first one to fly.”
To eliminate unneeded help, the bankruptcy judge said the brothers had to fire all the ground mechanics, except the one who turned the propellers to start the plane.
The Wright brothers blamed themselves for choosing to make the first commercial route between Dayton and Akron. Orville said, “No one in Dayton wanted to go to Akron, and no one in Akron wanted to go to Dayton, so we offered flights from Dayton to Cleveland.”
Wilbur said, “It didn’t get us out of the red, so we asked the government to bail us out. We argued that if the Feds didn’t come to our rescue, there would never be commercial aviation.”
Orville said, “The government turned us down on the grounds that if flying ever caught on, many airlines would go bankrupt.”
Wilbur added, “When we were turned down by the Feds, Wright Brothers stock plummeted.”
Orville agreed: “Wall Street stopped believing in us. The only thing we still had was our bicycle business.”
Wilbur said, “That is what we were originally noted for.”
In spite of all the setbacks, the Wright brothers continued running their airline with one, then two, and then three planes—all made of muslin and plywood.
They flew to Muncie, Indiana, Paducah, Kentucky, and Ann Arbor, Michigan. The name Wright Brothers Express never caught on, so they decided to change it to United Airlines because it had more sex appeal to it, at least until it went broke.
Foreign Affairs for Dummies
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON in the world that every time I get lost I refer to my book, Foreign Affairs for Dummies.
Here is what it says:
QUESTION: If a smoking gun can’t be found in Iraq, where can you find one?
ANSWER: In North Korea. They announced they have a smoking gun and are proud of it.
Q: If they can’t find one in Iraq, then why should we unilaterally go there?
A: Because our troops are there. They are prepared to fight in Iraq, but they are not prepared to fight in North Korea. The Bush Administration has been ready to fight in Baghdad for over a year, and if we don’t topple Saddam Hussein now the U.S. will have egg on its face.
Q: How much money will it
Jimmy said, “I can’t wait for ‘Car Stealers,’ ‘Torture in Iraq’ and ‘Blowing Up Public Schools.’”
“They all sound interesting,” I said. “In my day we played Elvis Presley records. Now video games seem to be the indoor sport.”
Carla said, “Thank God. It got Jimmy through the sniper crisis. He couldn’t sleep while the snipers were out there.”
Jimmy said, “How about ‘Saving the Human Race—No Matter What the Cost’?”
“Suits me,” I said. “It makes you think.”
Come Fly With Me
IN 2003 THE COUNTRY celebrated the 100th anniversary of Orville and Wilbur Wright’s first flight. On December 17, 1903, Orville took off near Kitty Hawk, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and stayed in the air for 12 seconds. Then Wilbur, on the same day, flew the same plane 852 feet in 59 seconds.
What very few people know is that it didn’t work out as well as everyone expected. Two weeks later they started an airline, Wright Brothers Express, which flew between Dayton and Akron, Ohio. Two weeks after that, they filed for bankruptcy.
Orville said: “We didn’t expect business to be that bad. People just weren’t flying as much as we expected.”
Wilbur said: “We offered discount fares, frequent-flier miles and free coffee—and we still had to go into Chapter 11. The banks wouldn’t give us any more money.”
Orville said, “To stay afloat, we were told we had to downsize our operation.”
“The only way to do this,” Wilbur said, “was to fire either Orville or myself. It hasn’t been an easy time for either of us. I should have stayed because I was the more experienced pilot. I flew the plane 852 feet and Orville flew it only 120 feet.”
“But,” said Orville, “I was the first one to fly.”
To eliminate unneeded help, the bankruptcy judge said the brothers had to fire all the ground mechanics, except the one who turned the propellers to start the plane.
The Wright brothers blamed themselves for choosing to make the first commercial route between Dayton and Akron. Orville said, “No one in Dayton wanted to go to Akron, and no one in Akron wanted to go to Dayton, so we offered flights from Dayton to Cleveland.”
Wilbur said, “It didn’t get us out of the red, so we asked the government to bail us out. We argued that if the Feds didn’t come to our rescue, there would never be commercial aviation.”
Orville said, “The government turned us down on the grounds that if flying ever caught on, many airlines would go bankrupt.”
Wilbur added, “When we were turned down by the Feds, Wright Brothers stock plummeted.”
Orville agreed: “Wall Street stopped believing in us. The only thing we still had was our bicycle business.”
Wilbur said, “That is what we were originally noted for.”
In spite of all the setbacks, the Wright brothers continued running their airline with one, then two, and then three planes—all made of muslin and plywood.
They flew to Muncie, Indiana, Paducah, Kentucky, and Ann Arbor, Michigan. The name Wright Brothers Express never caught on, so they decided to change it to United Airlines because it had more sex appeal to it, at least until it went broke.
Foreign Affairs for Dummies
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON in the world that every time I get lost I refer to my book, Foreign Affairs for Dummies.
Here is what it says:
QUESTION: If a smoking gun can’t be found in Iraq, where can you find one?
ANSWER: In North Korea. They announced they have a smoking gun and are proud of it.
Q: If they can’t find one in Iraq, then why should we unilaterally go there?
A: Because our troops are there. They are prepared to fight in Iraq, but they are not prepared to fight in North Korea. The Bush Administration has been ready to fight in Baghdad for over a year, and if we don’t topple Saddam Hussein now the U.S. will have egg on its face.
Q: How much money will it
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