Reagan… although she’s physically strong and survived it, and he never actually got to do what he wanted, I imagine the emotional trauma will be great.
I want to touch her, to comfort her, but I worry she’ll flinch from my touch, afraid, angry. Instead, I look after her, and try to figure out how we can stay gone forever. If we could start over, just us… maybe she could love me. Maybe I could love her. Maybe we could survive.
Her eyelids flutter when she wakes and she smiles. “Griffin.” It’s a ridiculous name, but it makes me happy that she wants me around to give me a name.
It’s stupid of me. I should have put her on a train somewhere, let her disappear, and taken my punishment. I could have made something up, said she ran, said I shot him and chased her. But I didn’t. I followed her, making her more of a target now. Because they will find me . They didn’t even know her name.
“Good morning,” I say. “We should eat something. You haven’t eaten, other than those crackers on the train.”
She’s already weak from the attack and I know she’s nauseous from the memory, but she needs her strength.
“Bring me something,” she requests.
“I need to leave, go to the corner to get food. Will you be okay?”
She looks nervous, but nods. I know she’s worried I won’t come back. I don’t think they could have tracked us this fast, and I’m trying to stay off the grid to make it harder, but you never know.
“I promise I will come back,” I tell her. “What do you want?”
She shrugs. “Anything. Just come back. Please.”
I almost kiss her goodbye, but we’re not a couple. This isn’t love. This is stupidity.
Taking my key, I walk to the store. The neighborhood is rough. Many of the houses are boarded up, although a couple are serving as crack houses. It could be good for us, since we will blend in, but it also means everyone around here is used to violence – and if someone comes for us, we’re on our own. No one is calling the cops here.
The store isn’t very well stocked, but I manage to get the basics. Bread, water, milk, peanut butter, cereal, and some snacks. I hesitate, and grab beer as well, because Nichole might need a drink at this point. The cashier doesn’t look at me and I take my bag back to the apartment.
Nichole is up and dressed, washing dishes. “They looked a little grimy,” she explains.
I show her what I got and we settle down for our first meal together. Raisin bran, toast, and water. I forgot to get butter or jam, so the toast is plain.
“I did a pretty bad job,” I say as I watch her eat her toast.
“It’s food. That’s good enough.”
We eat in silence, and I want to ask what happened. What she remembers. But I don’t want to remind her, either. She looks at my expression and I think she knows what I’m wondering.
“He hit me. A lot. He realized I wasn’t a virgin, and he threatened to kill me. I tried not to ask you for help. But he would have killed me, Zane.”
I nod. “I know. It’s okay. We were stupid. I shouldn’t have-”
She reaches across the table and puts her hand over mine. “I wanted to. And I’m glad you did. I couldn’t have. He was awful. It would have ruined me. I’m scared, and I don’t want to be in this mess, but I’m so happy it was you, Zane. And when I’m better, I hope you’ll do it again.”
“I’m in deep, Nichole. I’ll do anything for you.”
Her
…
I think he loves me. Keith used to tell me he loved me, but only when he wanted something. I think Zane loves me, and I think he’s scared of it. I’m scared of it. Because I think I might feel something for him as well.
He cleans up the cereal bowls and plates, and then goes to the living room. We don’t have cable, so the TV doesn’t work, and there are only three books in the house. One is a plumbing manual. The other two are mystery
I want to touch her, to comfort her, but I worry she’ll flinch from my touch, afraid, angry. Instead, I look after her, and try to figure out how we can stay gone forever. If we could start over, just us… maybe she could love me. Maybe I could love her. Maybe we could survive.
Her eyelids flutter when she wakes and she smiles. “Griffin.” It’s a ridiculous name, but it makes me happy that she wants me around to give me a name.
It’s stupid of me. I should have put her on a train somewhere, let her disappear, and taken my punishment. I could have made something up, said she ran, said I shot him and chased her. But I didn’t. I followed her, making her more of a target now. Because they will find me . They didn’t even know her name.
“Good morning,” I say. “We should eat something. You haven’t eaten, other than those crackers on the train.”
She’s already weak from the attack and I know she’s nauseous from the memory, but she needs her strength.
“Bring me something,” she requests.
“I need to leave, go to the corner to get food. Will you be okay?”
She looks nervous, but nods. I know she’s worried I won’t come back. I don’t think they could have tracked us this fast, and I’m trying to stay off the grid to make it harder, but you never know.
“I promise I will come back,” I tell her. “What do you want?”
She shrugs. “Anything. Just come back. Please.”
I almost kiss her goodbye, but we’re not a couple. This isn’t love. This is stupidity.
Taking my key, I walk to the store. The neighborhood is rough. Many of the houses are boarded up, although a couple are serving as crack houses. It could be good for us, since we will blend in, but it also means everyone around here is used to violence – and if someone comes for us, we’re on our own. No one is calling the cops here.
The store isn’t very well stocked, but I manage to get the basics. Bread, water, milk, peanut butter, cereal, and some snacks. I hesitate, and grab beer as well, because Nichole might need a drink at this point. The cashier doesn’t look at me and I take my bag back to the apartment.
Nichole is up and dressed, washing dishes. “They looked a little grimy,” she explains.
I show her what I got and we settle down for our first meal together. Raisin bran, toast, and water. I forgot to get butter or jam, so the toast is plain.
“I did a pretty bad job,” I say as I watch her eat her toast.
“It’s food. That’s good enough.”
We eat in silence, and I want to ask what happened. What she remembers. But I don’t want to remind her, either. She looks at my expression and I think she knows what I’m wondering.
“He hit me. A lot. He realized I wasn’t a virgin, and he threatened to kill me. I tried not to ask you for help. But he would have killed me, Zane.”
I nod. “I know. It’s okay. We were stupid. I shouldn’t have-”
She reaches across the table and puts her hand over mine. “I wanted to. And I’m glad you did. I couldn’t have. He was awful. It would have ruined me. I’m scared, and I don’t want to be in this mess, but I’m so happy it was you, Zane. And when I’m better, I hope you’ll do it again.”
“I’m in deep, Nichole. I’ll do anything for you.”
Her
…
I think he loves me. Keith used to tell me he loved me, but only when he wanted something. I think Zane loves me, and I think he’s scared of it. I’m scared of it. Because I think I might feel something for him as well.
He cleans up the cereal bowls and plates, and then goes to the living room. We don’t have cable, so the TV doesn’t work, and there are only three books in the house. One is a plumbing manual. The other two are mystery
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