Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

believe you’re not a colossal jerk,” Adina muttered under her breath. She was hot and tired and thirsty. Her words were like gunshots. “Miss Michigan! Yo! Front and center!”
    “I don’t think Fabio would say, ‘Yo!’” one girl complained, and Adina had to resist the urge to strangle the girl with her own hair extensions.
    Miss Michigan, Jennifer Huberman, sauntered over. Unlike the others, she looked like she enjoyed the occasional cheeseburger. She had real curves and a pantherlike walk. “Yeah. Hi. Jennifer Huberman, Miss Michigan. Go, Blue! I’m from Flint, the smaller Motor City. Well, before they went bankrupt. Now, I’m from Repossessed City. Sorry. Little gallows humor there.”
    “Great. Swell. Why don’t you tell us about your platform?”
    Jennifer gave Adina a shove. “Yeah? Why don’t you tell me about your platform, Homeroom?”
    “Whoa. Chill.”
    “Why don’t you chill?”
    “What pageant did you enter, Miss Orange Jumpsuit? What’s with the hostility?”
    “Maybe I don’t like people asking so many questions.”
    “Okaaaay. That’s kind of an important part of the competition.”
    “It counts for forty percent of your overall,” Tiara said as she practiced a circle turn in place.
    Jennifer relaxed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to get all up in your face. I’m just not used to this beauty stuff.”
    “You aren’t?”
    “No. First time. My guidance counselor got me into it. Some new program they’re trying out for at-risk girls.” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Like this isn’t a gang. Please. It’s the freakiest gang ever.”
    “Just curious: How did you manage to win Miss Michigan?”
    “I didn’t. I was second runner-up.”
    “What happened to the winner?” Adina asked.
    “She tripped.”
    “And the first runner-up?”
    Miss Michigan cracked her knuckles. “She tripped, too.”
    Adina swallowed hard. “Right. So, Miss Michigan, can you tell us about your platform? Please. I mean, if you’re okay with that.”
    “Oh. Sure. My platform’s called Don’t Even Think About It. I go into schools and I say, ‘Whatever bad thing it is you’re thinking of doing, don’t even think about it. ’Cause I can see into your soul, and I will hide in your closet and come for you in the night, and the last sound you ever hear will be my sharp teeth popping through the flesh of my gums, ready to eat you.’ Their eyes get all big. It’s awesome. I love little kids, man. They’re the cutest.”
    “Next!” Adina practically shouted. “Tiara, Miss Mississippi, right?”
    Tiara stared. “Is that my question?”
    “It is
a
question. I just wanted to make sure I got your name right.”
    “Oh. Hi, y’all! I’m Tiara Destiny Swan from Jackson, Mississippi, which is spelled M-I-double-S-I … um … shoot.”
    Adina looked to Taylor to end this travesty, but Taylor was trying to keep the signal fire going. The ominous clouds had moved closer to the island, and a strong wind came up, blowing sand and promising rain. “Tiara …” Adina had lost all steam. “What’s your favorite color?”
    Tiara’s eyes darted left and right in fear and her smile was strained. “Um. Thank you, Fabio. I personally believe that we have a duty such as … as Americans … to help other people who are not Americans such as the peoples of the China and the Alaska and the freedoms we enjoy in our great nation and such and that is my opinion which I personally believe will make us a stronger nation. Thank you.”
    Adina squeezed her hands against her head. “What are you even saying? You just made my brain die a little. You know, people, just being beautiful isn’t enough.”
    Tiara looked confused. “But … it always has been.”
    Petra gave a sudden cry, startling the others. “There it is!” She barreled down the beach in the direction of the skull-shaped rock and its long tongue of a jetty.
    The cry went up. “Oh my God! Is it a ship? It must be a ship! Ship! Ship!”
    The girls stumbled