couldn’t make out any of the words. Then she and Ben and I ate her homemade lasagna by candlelight. I got to wondering if this was the way it would be from now on—just the three ofus. It was weird. Ben keeps asking where Dad is, and Mom just keeps making up all these excuses for him, saying that he’s really busy with work and stuff (which sounds pretty believable considering how much of the time he’d been gone lately, and now I’m wondering if it was all really work-related or not).
But the point is, I am so unbelievably furious at him. What a total hypocrite! I mean, I’m thinking about all those stupid sermons he gave to me about how “the only thing high school boys are interested in is one thing!” Man, he must’ve been talking from his own personal experience (thinking he’s like some stupid high school kid having this secret little romance! UGH!). But, wait a minute, I thought stuff like this wasn’t supposed to happen to good, church-going Christians. What are his Bible study buddies going to say about this, I wonder. Oh, I’m just so incredibly mad, I can hardly put my thoughts into words. The whole thing just makes me want to scream! And how long does he plan to stay away without telling us what’s really going on? Isn’t that a crappy thing to do?
I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him for all this—not to mention he has totally lost my respect forever!
I’ve got to change the subject or I am just going to totally explode and go splatting across my room in tiny little pieces. Take a deep breath, Caitlin, just relax now, calm down.
Okay, well at least something good happened to me today. When I got to school this morning, Jenny was waitingby my locker. And to my surprise, she just threw her arms around me and apologized. Well, I was so shocked I almost fell over. And stupidly enough, I got a little teary-eyed. But then I’ve been under a lot of strain lately. She said, “I’m sorry I was such a total idiot yesterday. I was just all worried about what was going on between me and Josh.” I nodded and said it was okay and that I was sorry too. Then without thinking I blurted out what was going on with my parents and how it had me all stressed out. At first I thought it was a big mistake, but Jenny was actually quite understanding and sympathetic.
She pointed out that my dad was probably just going through a midlife crisis and that he’d get over it eventually, and that everything would be back to normal before I knew it. With honest skepticism, I asked her how she could be so sure, and she said that the exact same thing had happened to her parents about a year ago, and that everything worked itself out, and that, by the way, was why her mom got that slick new BMW for Christmas and, of course, why Jenny now has her own car.
“Just think,” she said with her usual confidence. “By summer you might be driving your mom’s car.” Well, I had to laugh at that one. But it’s something to hope for. Anyway, I’ll try to take Jenny’s advice and not get too worried about the whole thing. Although I have to admit I’ve even been feeling sorry for Benjamin lately (he’s been acting kind of strange and I think the whole thing is pretty hard on him too), and as a result I was actuallynice to him this morning and let him have the last bowl of Cheerios.
Friday, February 16 (something’s happening here)
A really weird thing happened tonight, actually a couple of weird things. But one in particular that I don’t even know what to make of. Anyway, after the game a bunch of us went over to Jenny’s house. It wasn’t a party or anything, although her parents weren’t there, and she did get into their bar which they assume always remains locked up when they’re away, but they don’t realize she has her own key! But no one was really getting drunk or anything wild like I’ve seen at some of the other parties. Instead we were just sitting around talking and stuff, acting
Andrew Brown
Howard Frank Mosher
Claire King
Blake Charlton
Tom Clancy
Lynna Merrill
Joanna Trollope
Tim Lebbon
Kim Harrison
Platte F. Clark