really so pigheaded? She’d always considered herself a reasonable woman, if rather more decisive than most. Women weren’t encouraged to think for themselves, but she’d never allowed that to stop her.
He’d called her intelligent. Brilliant. Recalling these few words over and over, a part of her wanted to sing for joy. That had been no veiled insult. He’d said exactly what he thought of her, both the good and the bad. Mostly bad, and to some extent she agreed.
Did he really love her? He’d never said so.
It didn’t matter. He didn’t want her anymore, and even if he did...
She still didn’t believe in magic. There was no proof of it except bizarre experience, and one could always explain that away.
She fell into a restless sleep and woke to sunlight and misery. For the first time since she could remember, she didn’t know what to do. She had to talk to someone. It was probably too late to mend matters—Elderwood now found her disgusting, and he’d spoken of his offer of marriage as a thing of the past—but if she didn’t get all this confusion off her chest, she would go mad.
How ridiculous. She never flew into the boughs over trifles. Over anything. She wasn’t like her superstitious mother, whose grief had led her to madness and death. She would handle this—this emotional crisis, but she wasn’t so pigheaded that she didn’t know when she needed help.
She dressed in a hurry, tiptoed into the empty corridor and tapped on Alexis’s door. He opened it almost immediately but didn’t invite her in.
She wouldn’t have gone in even if she hadn’t known about him and Peony. She could no longer afford to appear to be anything more than an old friend. “Will you walk in the knot garden with me? I need someone to talk to.”
“Of course,” he said, bless him. “Five minutes.”
She was pacing up and down between the boxwood hedges when he arrived. “What’s wrong?” he asked, adding frankly, “You look like the very devil this morning.”
“It’s about Lord Elderwood. He wants to marry me.” She took a swift turn down another of the paths that radiated from the center of the garden. “Wanted to, I should say. He—he seemed quite...” She couldn’t admit to Elderwood’s disgust. “I refused him. We had words, angry ones, and he well-nigh washed his hands of me last night.”
“Elderwood...asked you to marry him?”
Hadn’t she already said that? Alexis wasn’t usually so slow on the uptake. “Yes, I know it’s unbelievable, but he has asked me several times now.”
“While he thought you were engaged to me?”
“The first time was before that.”
“I see,” Alexis said, his brows drawing together. “You’d better start at the beginning.”
She couldn’t explain it all. Definitely not her...amorous adventures with Lord Elderwood. “We met briefly three years ago, and almost immediately he asked me to marry him, saying magic had brought us together. You may imagine how little I liked that! I declined his offer, and when he threatened to go to my uncle and ask for my hand, I panicked.”
Alexis now frowned in earnest. “So that’s why you asked to become engaged to me.”
She cringed inside; she was used to frowns, but not from Alexis. “My uncle wanted me off his hands. He was already looking about for a suitable match. He would have tried to force me to marry Lord Elderwood. I simply couldn’t bear it.”
“I understand that, but why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“You’re upset with me,” she said.
“A little.” Which, where Alexis was concerned, probably meant very much so.
“I was afraid you would agree with my uncle because Elderwood was your friend,” she said. “Wanting to complete my father’s work seemed the perfect excuse.” He continued to frown. “It was worthwhile work. It needed doing.” Somebody had to warn the foolish of the dangers of superstition. Somebody had to prove that magic didn’t exist.
She paced back and forth.
He’d called her intelligent. Brilliant. Recalling these few words over and over, a part of her wanted to sing for joy. That had been no veiled insult. He’d said exactly what he thought of her, both the good and the bad. Mostly bad, and to some extent she agreed.
Did he really love her? He’d never said so.
It didn’t matter. He didn’t want her anymore, and even if he did...
She still didn’t believe in magic. There was no proof of it except bizarre experience, and one could always explain that away.
She fell into a restless sleep and woke to sunlight and misery. For the first time since she could remember, she didn’t know what to do. She had to talk to someone. It was probably too late to mend matters—Elderwood now found her disgusting, and he’d spoken of his offer of marriage as a thing of the past—but if she didn’t get all this confusion off her chest, she would go mad.
How ridiculous. She never flew into the boughs over trifles. Over anything. She wasn’t like her superstitious mother, whose grief had led her to madness and death. She would handle this—this emotional crisis, but she wasn’t so pigheaded that she didn’t know when she needed help.
She dressed in a hurry, tiptoed into the empty corridor and tapped on Alexis’s door. He opened it almost immediately but didn’t invite her in.
She wouldn’t have gone in even if she hadn’t known about him and Peony. She could no longer afford to appear to be anything more than an old friend. “Will you walk in the knot garden with me? I need someone to talk to.”
“Of course,” he said, bless him. “Five minutes.”
She was pacing up and down between the boxwood hedges when he arrived. “What’s wrong?” he asked, adding frankly, “You look like the very devil this morning.”
“It’s about Lord Elderwood. He wants to marry me.” She took a swift turn down another of the paths that radiated from the center of the garden. “Wanted to, I should say. He—he seemed quite...” She couldn’t admit to Elderwood’s disgust. “I refused him. We had words, angry ones, and he well-nigh washed his hands of me last night.”
“Elderwood...asked you to marry him?”
Hadn’t she already said that? Alexis wasn’t usually so slow on the uptake. “Yes, I know it’s unbelievable, but he has asked me several times now.”
“While he thought you were engaged to me?”
“The first time was before that.”
“I see,” Alexis said, his brows drawing together. “You’d better start at the beginning.”
She couldn’t explain it all. Definitely not her...amorous adventures with Lord Elderwood. “We met briefly three years ago, and almost immediately he asked me to marry him, saying magic had brought us together. You may imagine how little I liked that! I declined his offer, and when he threatened to go to my uncle and ask for my hand, I panicked.”
Alexis now frowned in earnest. “So that’s why you asked to become engaged to me.”
She cringed inside; she was used to frowns, but not from Alexis. “My uncle wanted me off his hands. He was already looking about for a suitable match. He would have tried to force me to marry Lord Elderwood. I simply couldn’t bear it.”
“I understand that, but why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“You’re upset with me,” she said.
“A little.” Which, where Alexis was concerned, probably meant very much so.
“I was afraid you would agree with my uncle because Elderwood was your friend,” she said. “Wanting to complete my father’s work seemed the perfect excuse.” He continued to frown. “It was worthwhile work. It needed doing.” Somebody had to warn the foolish of the dangers of superstition. Somebody had to prove that magic didn’t exist.
She paced back and forth.
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