blanket—which was more like a sheet than any kind of blanket I'd ever seen. “John...why are you here?” I asked, unable to pretend any longer. It just didn't make any sense. The doctor said I'd only been out for a short while and I knew for a fact that John couldn't have been the one to bring me here. Spencer . Where was he? Why wasn't he here with me? The last thing I remembered was getting hot and heavy with him in the elevator at Ford Enterprises and then feeling dizzy and passing out and now I wake up and I'm here. There were too many questions unanswered.
“Uh...wow. Well, it's nice to see you, too, Em,” John scoffed in response.
“You know I didn't mean it like that. I just mean...Illinois is a long way away and I didn't expect to wake up in some hospital and see your face. That's all. I mean, I'm not in that serious of shape” I said, attempting to smooth things over.
“Whose face were you expecting? Spencer Ford's?” he accused coldly, his words like daggers. I hadn't ever told him about Spencer...at least not his name. How did he know? Did I say something in my sleep?
“Don't look so surprised,” he continued. “He was here with you when I showed up. He said he was your boss, but he was really confused when I mentioned that I was your fiancé. Hurt, even. He said you never shared the fact that you were in a relationship, let alone engaged. He just stared at me for a minute or two trying to put all the pieces together...” John laughed, disgusted. He shook his head and I could see tears glistening in his eyes, threatening to rain down.
“John, please. I'm sorry, I just...”
“Dammit, Em! Please spare me. You could at least have the decency to be honest with me. At the very least. Jesus! I mean I flew all the way here just to show you how much I loved you and missed you and when I got to your apartment and Bridget told me you were here, I felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I was so worried about you. And then I show up here, only to find you being comforted and consoled by another man. He was kissing your hand , Em! Your hand. That's some fucking intimate shit!” He threw his hands up in exasperation and covered his face, a jagged sob escaping his lips.
My heart broke for him. Even though I hadn't cheated on him, it was dangerously close. Close enough that it still felt wrong. And part of me didn't even feel bad about it...that's how pathetic this whole situation was. Here I was, listening to my fiancé cry over the possibility of losing me and my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Spencer—W here is he? Is he angry with me? Will we still be okay tomorrow?
“Are you even listening to me, Em?” John shouted, causing me to jump at his unexpected outburst. I'd never seen him so angry, like a bomb going off. The John I'd always known was calm, cool and collected. He could be having the worst day of his life and still be able to laugh it off. And yet here he was, blowing up right in front of my face and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing I wanted to do to stop it, because this had been a long time coming and I knew that there was no turning back now.
“John, I really am sorry,” I pleaded. “I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that, okay? I really do love you...it's just, I can't marry you. We aren't meant for each other. Not like that.” And as the words left my mouth, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Like I was finally able to be myself again, but even still, it hurt to have to break the heart of someone I cared so much about. There was no denying that. “I'm sorry,” I whispered as a tear fell down my cheek.
He looked at me with so much hurt in his eyes
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