Billy Angel by Sam Hay

me.
    â€˜WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?’
    I had almost reached the compost heap when she appeared at the shed door with a bucket and shovel in her hands.
    I froze.
    She looked like she was about to dig my grave.

    â€˜YOU’RE TRESPASSING!’ she yelled, and then suddenly she realised who I was. ‘YOU!’ she gasped. ‘IT’S YOU AGAIN!’
    And then she flew at me, swinging the shovel wildly around her head. She looked like a runaway helicopter with lethal chopper blades and a mad pilot. I shut my eyes and prepared for the end.
    â€˜Don’t touch him!’ yelled Gaby, emerging from behind the compost heap. ‘He can’t help it if he’s madly in love with you.’
    â€˜What?’ Even in my state of abject terror, I still couldn’t miss what she’d said.
    â€˜
What
?’ Even Thelma was shocked. ‘And who are you, anyway?’
    â€˜Gaby,’ said Gaby. ‘A friend of Billy’s.’ (What a liar!) ‘He’s too shy to tell you himself, so he asked me to come along and speak for him. Look, he’s even bought you a present.’
    Gaby fished inside my coat pocket and pulled out the love-heart pencil sharpener she’d made me buy from her aunt’s shop. (She’d obviously seen me stash it away before I left the shop. I could have kicked myself for keeping it.)
    I tried to explain, but my mouth wouldn’t work.
    Thelma’s eyes narrowed, as though she suspected a setup. ‘But he’s just a kid,’ she growled.
    â€˜He may be a kid, but he’d do anything for you,’ said Gaby. ‘Truly,
anything
.’
    I didn’t like the sound of that. Gradually I seemed to be regaining the power of speech – like a frozen leg of lamb that’s started to thaw – but my tongue still didn’t seem to fit in my mouth properly. I tried to deny all Gaby’s rubbish, but my words just sort of came out in a slur.
    â€˜See?’ said Gaby. ‘That’s the effect you have on him.’
    Thelma put down her shovel, and suddenly clocked my tool bag.
    â€˜Have you got any screwdrivers in there?’
    I nodded dumbly. I had 28 screwdrivers – enough screwdrivers to fit any head, anywhere.
    This news seemed to soften her slightly.
    â€˜Well, I need to borrow one. But neither of you can breathe a word of this. If you do, I’ll flatten you!’
    And with that, we entered Thelma’s world.

Chapter 13
    Thelma closed the door and – my heart sank – locked it.
    â€˜Now, listen,’ she growled, standing in front of the door with her arms folded. ‘I’m involved in a bit of an… um… experiment. It’s a science project for school.’
    I was happy to play along with the ‘science project’ story, but Gaby wasn’t.
    She immediately pointed at a big book propped up on the table. ‘If I’m not very much mistaken, that’s Macaverty and Lawson – a first edition, and I believe you’re about to do some practical magic.’
    I could have kicked her. As approaches go, that was even less subtle than my hoodie-angel’s.
    â€˜What?’ Thelma gasped. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
    Gaby smiled, a smug smile…
    â€˜Don’t worry, we won’t tell, I’m a bit of a dabbler myself, if I’m honest.’
    I knew it! I knew it! All that black eyeliner. And those silly, pointy boots. She probably has a broom down her back and a black cat in her handbag. Witches, I hate ’em!
    Thelma was flummoxed, which was actually quite satisfying to see.
    â€˜If you want, I can help you,’ said Gaby. ‘I suspect you were on your way out to the compost heap to find worms.’
    Thelma nodded uncertainly.
    â€˜Well, how about I get the worms while Billy here wires up the skeleton – because I’m guessing that’s what you had in mind for his