won't hurt you again," he said. "I'm
sorry."
"I said it's okay," I reiterated. I pulled
him next to me and continued caressing his still damp hair.
He was a weird one, but I liked him. I never
expected to be in this much control of him in the bedroom, but it
was an arrangement I could learn to love.
Resignation
So, Cissy quit.
We really should have seen it coming,
especially with the slap in the face that was Ernie's absence at
the happy hour. Though it did raise a few hundred dollars—more
money than we would have received without it.
Steve and I were upstairs in my office
bullshitting when it happened. I could hear Cissy raising her
shrill voice first, then Ernie's deep bass rising in volume.
Steve's eyes grew big and we both tiptoed toward the stairs to hear
the argument better.
"Oh, that's rich!" Cissy shouted. "You
expected me to work miracles when you won't even show me the
fucking budget? Why won't you or LaJwanne coming off that
information?"
"That's LaJwanne's domain as the finance
director, not yours."
"The budget , Ernie? Really? I can't
see the budget?"
"I don't need to show you the budget for what
I need you to do."
"I am the director of development! I am not
only supposed to know the budget, I'm supposed to be able to tell
you whether or not we can even reach the goals you set. This is a
leadership position and we're supposed to collaborate on these
things. Now how in the hell do you expect me to raise those kinds
of dollars in the next fiscal year?"
"That's not my problem, sweetie. I've already
taken the load off your plate by getting grant writers for the
government grants. You're supposed to be out here making the
relationships."
"How many dossiers have I researched for you?
How many of Washington's richest people have I created profiles
for? You know where these people are. I've given you practically
everything but their social security numbers, but you won't do the
work! You won't follow through! You come to work—sometimes—and just
sit in your office all day doing nothing, expecting the money to
just rain down from heaven. I can't do everything, Ernie."
"Then maybe you need to find another line of
work. You only have one directive in this office and that's to
raise money. And I've given you a lot of freedom to do that, but I
can see that you can't."
"Now wait just a goddamn minute. I've busted
my ass for this organization for the better part of a decade. You
can't tell me I don't know development. If there's one fucking
thing I know about the nonprofit sector, it's development."
"Watch your mouth."
"No, you watch your mouth. I am tired of this
shit, tired of it! I am sick of working for a talentless,
uncreative, unconnected, lazy executive director who won't do the
minimum that the job requires. And I'm tired of you giving away
these contracts to grant writers who are your friends and aren't
nearly qualified to do what's required. Ernie? I quit. I quit this
fucking job so hard."
"Alright then, peace be with you."
"And peace be with you, you lazy bastard. And
by the way? Your breath smells like ass."
I hollered. Steve hollered. Ernie surely
heard us. We hurried down the stairs to see Ernie retreating into
his office and slamming the door. Cissy had an empty cardboard box
and threw her personal effects into it. Tears were streaming down
her face.
"Wait, this is for real?" I asked. Cissy
nodded and Steve immediately went to her. She sobbed while he held
her.
"I just can't do it anymore," she wailed. "He
just…won't let any of us be great. We could be doing so much
here…"
"I know, I know," Steve comforted her. "It's
okay."
He stroked Cissy's hair as she wiped her
eyes.
"But what are you gonna do now?" I asked.
Cissy shrugged.
"I don't know. But anything's got to be
better than this. Justin, promise me that you won't get stuck here.
Steve and I, we're no spring chickens anymore. But you? I know you
have it in you to be more than your job title. Go back to school,
get a
sorry."
"I said it's okay," I reiterated. I pulled
him next to me and continued caressing his still damp hair.
He was a weird one, but I liked him. I never
expected to be in this much control of him in the bedroom, but it
was an arrangement I could learn to love.
Resignation
So, Cissy quit.
We really should have seen it coming,
especially with the slap in the face that was Ernie's absence at
the happy hour. Though it did raise a few hundred dollars—more
money than we would have received without it.
Steve and I were upstairs in my office
bullshitting when it happened. I could hear Cissy raising her
shrill voice first, then Ernie's deep bass rising in volume.
Steve's eyes grew big and we both tiptoed toward the stairs to hear
the argument better.
"Oh, that's rich!" Cissy shouted. "You
expected me to work miracles when you won't even show me the
fucking budget? Why won't you or LaJwanne coming off that
information?"
"That's LaJwanne's domain as the finance
director, not yours."
"The budget , Ernie? Really? I can't
see the budget?"
"I don't need to show you the budget for what
I need you to do."
"I am the director of development! I am not
only supposed to know the budget, I'm supposed to be able to tell
you whether or not we can even reach the goals you set. This is a
leadership position and we're supposed to collaborate on these
things. Now how in the hell do you expect me to raise those kinds
of dollars in the next fiscal year?"
"That's not my problem, sweetie. I've already
taken the load off your plate by getting grant writers for the
government grants. You're supposed to be out here making the
relationships."
"How many dossiers have I researched for you?
How many of Washington's richest people have I created profiles
for? You know where these people are. I've given you practically
everything but their social security numbers, but you won't do the
work! You won't follow through! You come to work—sometimes—and just
sit in your office all day doing nothing, expecting the money to
just rain down from heaven. I can't do everything, Ernie."
"Then maybe you need to find another line of
work. You only have one directive in this office and that's to
raise money. And I've given you a lot of freedom to do that, but I
can see that you can't."
"Now wait just a goddamn minute. I've busted
my ass for this organization for the better part of a decade. You
can't tell me I don't know development. If there's one fucking
thing I know about the nonprofit sector, it's development."
"Watch your mouth."
"No, you watch your mouth. I am tired of this
shit, tired of it! I am sick of working for a talentless,
uncreative, unconnected, lazy executive director who won't do the
minimum that the job requires. And I'm tired of you giving away
these contracts to grant writers who are your friends and aren't
nearly qualified to do what's required. Ernie? I quit. I quit this
fucking job so hard."
"Alright then, peace be with you."
"And peace be with you, you lazy bastard. And
by the way? Your breath smells like ass."
I hollered. Steve hollered. Ernie surely
heard us. We hurried down the stairs to see Ernie retreating into
his office and slamming the door. Cissy had an empty cardboard box
and threw her personal effects into it. Tears were streaming down
her face.
"Wait, this is for real?" I asked. Cissy
nodded and Steve immediately went to her. She sobbed while he held
her.
"I just can't do it anymore," she wailed. "He
just…won't let any of us be great. We could be doing so much
here…"
"I know, I know," Steve comforted her. "It's
okay."
He stroked Cissy's hair as she wiped her
eyes.
"But what are you gonna do now?" I asked.
Cissy shrugged.
"I don't know. But anything's got to be
better than this. Justin, promise me that you won't get stuck here.
Steve and I, we're no spring chickens anymore. But you? I know you
have it in you to be more than your job title. Go back to school,
get a
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