Blood and Guts in High School

Blood and Guts in High School by Kathy Acker Page A

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Authors: Kathy Acker
Tags: Fiction, General
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walls to save me.'
    The bear was so desperately in love with the house, he'd do anything to get inside it. 'Listen you,' he yelled at the house. 'I asked you nicely to let me in. You wouldn't let me in. Now I'm going to get you. I've got your pet Fritzy and I'm going to eat her up in one second flat if you don't let me in.'
    'BEAVER! BEAVER!' The hideous monster fainted. When he came to, he stumbled, bumbled up the stairs, and dragged beaver out of the flooded shower. 'That horrible beast has Fritzy. He's going to eat Fritzy up! I'm going to trade myself for Fritzy, that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to throw myself into the bear's arms . . .'
    'No!' beaver screamed. The monster raced down the stairs, but he couldn't go very fast because one of his legs didn't work and the other
----
    was knock-kneed. 'Monster, I love you. I adore you. I'll give myself to the bear!'
    The monster and the beaver rushed down the stairs in a race to get into the bear's arms.
    The bear had been waiting for an answer, but no one had answered him. When he lifted the rat to his mouth to eat her, she bit him and leaped into the snow.
    By the time monster and beaver got outside, the bear had disappeared.
    5 The Bear's defeat
    The bear was defeated. There was no way he could get into the wonderful
    house.
    He couldn't stop being in love with the house. He stared and stared at the house. He saw a white horse pawing short green grass. The magnificent horse started racing without effort, flying, across the sloping meadows, meadow-hills, tiny houses nestling in the hills, patches of all-colours flowers. A long time passed. The white horse was lying on the dirt, dying. A huge open red wound gaped in his right side. Several humans with sticks were plunging their sticks into the wound.
    The bear's teeth started moving up and down. Soon these teeth were chattering so loud and fast, the bear got scared he was a chattering skull. All of his warm fur would fall off, his skin and his veins. The teeth kept chattering and biting. He got real pissed and his claws came out, but he couldn't figure out who to claw.
    Bear was an elephant. Elephant rose up, mighty mighty grey, on two legs and roared. Roar of Universe. Elephant thudded down a narrow dirt road. Thud thud. Thud thud. Travelled many many miles to find water. His long trunk stuck food in his snake-shape mouth. Every now and then ROAR to tell the forest who he was.
    Who am I? he asked. I'm an elephant.
    A little boy who was thin and had a crew cut was sitting on the edge of his bed in pyjamas. The bed was as narrow as a cot. Someone had turned the sheets down for the night. Knees tucked under his chin, the little boy was looking directly ahead at a big being who was telling him a story. 'Once upon a time,' the big being said. 'Once upon a time there was a man who roamed the whole land. This man wasn't a giant physically, but he was a giant in every other way. The giant ate ears of corn and, now and then, the heads off of human beings . . .'
    The bear's teeth started chattering again and the bear cried. Why wouldn't his teeth stop? Why was he shaking like this, like some crazy woman who's possessed and turning, like a white horse being ridden by
----
    a rider for the first time? The bear had a fever. He wanted to run away, but he knew if he left this bondage, there'd be nothing else left in the world.
    6 The Bear's vision of blackness
    The night was black and the universe was black. You weren't able to
    distinguish any forms in this night. A black band separated the black
    earth from the black sky. All over was just blackness, a layer of
    blackness.
    You, the thing you called 'you', was a ball turning and turning in the blackness only the blackness wasn't something - like 'black' - and it wasn't nothingness 'cause nothingness was somethingness. The whole thing turns up into a ball, the ball's ephemeral, and where are you? Your self is a ball turning and turning as it's being thrown from one hand to the other

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