on his shoulder one last time. The tears came until there was nothing left. I cried not only for the loss of my pet, but also for the loss of my future and my life.
Lifting myself up off Samuel, I stood up, taking a second to dry my eyes on the backs of my hands, and then leaned down to pick him up as I refused to drag my beloved friend.
He was heavy and the lack of muscle tone made it even harder to carry him, but I managed to get him to the door. It took a while as I had to lay him down to open the door and then pick him up again, my back muscles burning in response.
Walking out on the deck, I struggled to get him down the steps. I nearly dropped him, but somehow managed to stay upright with him in my arms. Thankfully he had always been on the small side for a German shepherd.
Standing for several minutes deciding on the best place to bury him, I finally decided on the garden. It wasn’t like I would be using it this year and since I had broken the ground up already, it would be an easy place to dig the grave. So with the decision made, I walked to the garden and placed him gently on the grass at the edge as I couldn’t stand to get his fur dirty.
The shovel I got from the barn felt clumsy and foreign in my hands. It took about an hour to dig Samuel a shallow resting place but it was the best I could do as my strength was quickly giving out.
Wrapping him in a small but thick horse blanket I kept in the barn, I placed him in the small hole. It only took a few minutes to cover him up and I packed the dirt down as best as I could with the flat side of the shovel.
Staring down at the grave, the shovel slipped out of my hands and I waited for more tears to fall, but I found I had no more at the moment. My beloved Samuel's interment left me dejected and I felt desperately alone. Glad that he had not suffered, I could not keep from wishing that he could have kept me company while I waited to die.
Feeling dirtier than ever, a bath became a priority. While burying Samuel, my indecision had grown and I was now even less certain of what to do. Reasoning that my mind would be clearer if I were clean, I left the garden and went straight to the bathroom. The tears that I had been unable to cry now streamed uncontrollably down my face.
five
The hot water wrapped around my skin like a blanket as I slipped down into the tub. I had gotten the water as hot as I could take it, hoping to ease my aching muscles from where the vampire had thrown me around.
Red as a lobster, the jets of the tub punched at my skin until that pain began to overtake the muscle cramps. Although the water couldn’t erase everything that had happened, my mind did clear a little and I was able to think more rationally.
It was close to 4 p.m. If the vampire lore I knew was correct, most of which had been gathered from the occasional movie, he would return sometime around sundown. It was mid-February so the sun would be setting about 5:30 p.m. That meant I had about two and a half hours until he returned.
Should I use the two and half hours to make a run for it? Try to drive to Ellie and pull her out of my mom’s arms and get as far away from here as possible. Leave my mother to face his wrath?
It didn’t seem probable that I could convince her we were being stalked by a vampire and we all needed to go into hiding. The psych facility would be getting a call if I told her that story. Then I would be hiding from the police as well as a vampire.
But as much thought as I put into that scenario, I knew I couldn’t leave my mother to face him. It would be better to be dead than to know I had betrayed one of the two people that had loved and raised me and whom I loved more than anyone in the world besides Ellie. Mom deserved better.
I contemplated telling her the truth for a short time longer, knowing all along that it was a dead end road. Mom, most of the time immensely practical except where this house was concerned, would never
Lifting myself up off Samuel, I stood up, taking a second to dry my eyes on the backs of my hands, and then leaned down to pick him up as I refused to drag my beloved friend.
He was heavy and the lack of muscle tone made it even harder to carry him, but I managed to get him to the door. It took a while as I had to lay him down to open the door and then pick him up again, my back muscles burning in response.
Walking out on the deck, I struggled to get him down the steps. I nearly dropped him, but somehow managed to stay upright with him in my arms. Thankfully he had always been on the small side for a German shepherd.
Standing for several minutes deciding on the best place to bury him, I finally decided on the garden. It wasn’t like I would be using it this year and since I had broken the ground up already, it would be an easy place to dig the grave. So with the decision made, I walked to the garden and placed him gently on the grass at the edge as I couldn’t stand to get his fur dirty.
The shovel I got from the barn felt clumsy and foreign in my hands. It took about an hour to dig Samuel a shallow resting place but it was the best I could do as my strength was quickly giving out.
Wrapping him in a small but thick horse blanket I kept in the barn, I placed him in the small hole. It only took a few minutes to cover him up and I packed the dirt down as best as I could with the flat side of the shovel.
Staring down at the grave, the shovel slipped out of my hands and I waited for more tears to fall, but I found I had no more at the moment. My beloved Samuel's interment left me dejected and I felt desperately alone. Glad that he had not suffered, I could not keep from wishing that he could have kept me company while I waited to die.
Feeling dirtier than ever, a bath became a priority. While burying Samuel, my indecision had grown and I was now even less certain of what to do. Reasoning that my mind would be clearer if I were clean, I left the garden and went straight to the bathroom. The tears that I had been unable to cry now streamed uncontrollably down my face.
five
The hot water wrapped around my skin like a blanket as I slipped down into the tub. I had gotten the water as hot as I could take it, hoping to ease my aching muscles from where the vampire had thrown me around.
Red as a lobster, the jets of the tub punched at my skin until that pain began to overtake the muscle cramps. Although the water couldn’t erase everything that had happened, my mind did clear a little and I was able to think more rationally.
It was close to 4 p.m. If the vampire lore I knew was correct, most of which had been gathered from the occasional movie, he would return sometime around sundown. It was mid-February so the sun would be setting about 5:30 p.m. That meant I had about two and a half hours until he returned.
Should I use the two and half hours to make a run for it? Try to drive to Ellie and pull her out of my mom’s arms and get as far away from here as possible. Leave my mother to face his wrath?
It didn’t seem probable that I could convince her we were being stalked by a vampire and we all needed to go into hiding. The psych facility would be getting a call if I told her that story. Then I would be hiding from the police as well as a vampire.
But as much thought as I put into that scenario, I knew I couldn’t leave my mother to face him. It would be better to be dead than to know I had betrayed one of the two people that had loved and raised me and whom I loved more than anyone in the world besides Ellie. Mom deserved better.
I contemplated telling her the truth for a short time longer, knowing all along that it was a dead end road. Mom, most of the time immensely practical except where this house was concerned, would never
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