suggestion.
Stace
To: Stacy Trent
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog
Re: Nice try . . .
. . . but law is definitely not the field to go into if you’re looking to meet a nice girl. So far the only women I’ve met since graduation are other lawyers . . . and of course the hookers I was defending.
No offense to any female lawyers you might have in your acquaintance, but I kind of preferred the hookers. I mean, at least they didn’t care what kind of shoes I had on.
Mitch
Sleaterkinneyfan:
What do I do???? There’s a message on my phone from Mitchell Hertzog’s assistant! She wants me to call to schedule an appointment for pretrial discovery! About Mrs. Lopez!!!!!!
Sleaterkinneyfan:
So? Schedule an appointment.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
But . . . I’m on Mrs. Lopez’s side.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Better not let the T.O.D. catch you saying that.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
No worries. She’s not even here. She went to go meet the Stepford Wives at the Monkey Bar. I overheard her on the phone with one of them.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Oh, you mean her sorority sisters. That’s right, they meet the first Thursday of every month. I can’t understand how they can bear to tear themselves away fromFriends . Isn’t Jennifer Aniston like the sorority girl icon of all time, or something?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Hey. I like Jennifer Aniston.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Whatever. Better make the appointment. And leave the T.O.D. a message to let her know you did it. Then let’s get out of here. There’s a sale at Nine West.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
But isn’t my cooperating with the paper’s soulless corporate lawyers tantamount to supporting the dismissal of Mrs. Lopez, an act which grates against every fiber of my being?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
You already lost your apartment. You want to be out of a job too?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Roger. Over and out.
From the Desk of
Kate Mackenzie
Amy, just to let you know, I got a message from Mitchell Hertzog’s assistant, asking me to call to schedule an appointment to give a deposition concerning Ida Lopez’s grievance suit.
So I went ahead and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning at nine . . . which of course means I probably won’t be in to the office until after eleven or so.
I hope this is okay.
Kate
Kathleen A. MacKenzie
Personnel Representative, LZ
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6891
[email protected]
To: Paula Reznik
— — — — — — — —
Paula, I waited for you for half
CVS Pharmacy
an hour, then I finally gave up
Thank you for
shopping at CVS
and left. You must have gotten
Imitrex $10.00
held up. I tried your cell and
Levlin-21 $10.00
got no answer. Hope you find
Allegra $10.00
this note. I was really looking
Total: $30.00
forward to seeing this apart-
Paid: $40.00
ment, too. Call me tomorrow
Change: S10.00
so we can reschedule.
Thanks! Kate
P.S. Sorry, this was the only
paper I could find.
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
The East Village’s Number-1 Destination for Live Music,...
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Tonight’s Band:
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Featuring:
Dale Carter: Guitar, Vocals
Jake Hartnett: Guitar, Vocals
Marty Hicks: Bass
Scroggs: Drums, Vocals
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches™ appears courtesy of Liberation Music Records
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Playlist:
Kate and Me
Random Acts of Kate
In the Bedroom with Kate
I Love U, Kate, for Now
Kate, Y Did U Leave Me
Chasing Kate
Come Back, Kate
Ice Weasels Gnaw My Brain
All songs, lyrics by Dale Carter &
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches™
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Y Won’t U B With Me, Kate?
Oh, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?
Kate, Don’t U know what U mean to me?
I look at the dirty dishes piling up in the sink
and all I can think
is
Stace
To: Stacy Trent
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog
Re: Nice try . . .
. . . but law is definitely not the field to go into if you’re looking to meet a nice girl. So far the only women I’ve met since graduation are other lawyers . . . and of course the hookers I was defending.
No offense to any female lawyers you might have in your acquaintance, but I kind of preferred the hookers. I mean, at least they didn’t care what kind of shoes I had on.
Mitch
Sleaterkinneyfan:
What do I do???? There’s a message on my phone from Mitchell Hertzog’s assistant! She wants me to call to schedule an appointment for pretrial discovery! About Mrs. Lopez!!!!!!
Sleaterkinneyfan:
So? Schedule an appointment.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
But . . . I’m on Mrs. Lopez’s side.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Better not let the T.O.D. catch you saying that.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
No worries. She’s not even here. She went to go meet the Stepford Wives at the Monkey Bar. I overheard her on the phone with one of them.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Oh, you mean her sorority sisters. That’s right, they meet the first Thursday of every month. I can’t understand how they can bear to tear themselves away fromFriends . Isn’t Jennifer Aniston like the sorority girl icon of all time, or something?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Hey. I like Jennifer Aniston.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Whatever. Better make the appointment. And leave the T.O.D. a message to let her know you did it. Then let’s get out of here. There’s a sale at Nine West.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
But isn’t my cooperating with the paper’s soulless corporate lawyers tantamount to supporting the dismissal of Mrs. Lopez, an act which grates against every fiber of my being?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
You already lost your apartment. You want to be out of a job too?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Roger. Over and out.
From the Desk of
Kate Mackenzie
Amy, just to let you know, I got a message from Mitchell Hertzog’s assistant, asking me to call to schedule an appointment to give a deposition concerning Ida Lopez’s grievance suit.
So I went ahead and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning at nine . . . which of course means I probably won’t be in to the office until after eleven or so.
I hope this is okay.
Kate
Kathleen A. MacKenzie
Personnel Representative, LZ
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6891
[email protected]
To: Paula Reznik
— — — — — — — —
Paula, I waited for you for half
CVS Pharmacy
an hour, then I finally gave up
Thank you for
shopping at CVS
and left. You must have gotten
Imitrex $10.00
held up. I tried your cell and
Levlin-21 $10.00
got no answer. Hope you find
Allegra $10.00
this note. I was really looking
Total: $30.00
forward to seeing this apart-
Paid: $40.00
ment, too. Call me tomorrow
Change: S10.00
so we can reschedule.
Thanks! Kate
P.S. Sorry, this was the only
paper I could find.
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
The East Village’s Number-1 Destination for Live Music,...
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Tonight’s Band:
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Featuring:
Dale Carter: Guitar, Vocals
Jake Hartnett: Guitar, Vocals
Marty Hicks: Bass
Scroggs: Drums, Vocals
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches™ appears courtesy of Liberation Music Records
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Playlist:
Kate and Me
Random Acts of Kate
In the Bedroom with Kate
I Love U, Kate, for Now
Kate, Y Did U Leave Me
Chasing Kate
Come Back, Kate
Ice Weasels Gnaw My Brain
All songs, lyrics by Dale Carter &
I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches™
Boy 3 - Boy Meets Girl
Y Won’t U B With Me, Kate?
Oh, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?
Kate, Don’t U know what U mean to me?
I look at the dirty dishes piling up in the sink
and all I can think
is
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